Finding Redemption
by iluvclarkkentxx
Summary: WAITING FOR DEATH SEQUEL! Harry turns to Severus for comfort in dealing with Draco being in a coma. Their relationship blooms, but how will Draco handle the news when he wakes up? Who will Harry end up with? HPSS HPDM SLASH!
1. Coming Of Age

**THIS IS A SEQUEL!** I highly recommend reading** WAITING FOR DEATH **before you read this story, or it may become very confusing! But for those who don't feel like it, or those who just want a refresher, here is a quick little summary for you:

_Harry tells Ron he loves him. Ron sleeps with Harry, says some mean things to him, then starts a relationship with Hermione to prove he's "straight" hurting both of his friends in the process. Ginny suggests to Harry to start a rebound relationship with Draco. He does, and it progresses rather quickly. Lucius (and of course Voldie) use the relationship to gain Harry's trust (which doesn't go so well!). Lucius helps Harry master occlumency, causing Snape to gain some respect for Harry. They slowly become friends..and a little more! Draco breaks up with Harry because he didn't feel he was one of Harry's priority. Harry then turned to good ol' Professor Snape for a little comfort (fluffy smutty goodness in one). But of course the two boys get back together when Draco gains a wicked injury from a fight, starting over jealous, with Blaise Zabini. Snape pushes Harry away and gives him a very powerful book written in parseltongue. Harry then discovers a spell that gave him the ability to control anyone without their knowledge of being put under a spell (it even worked on Dumbledore!). Harry and Draco then plan to take the Dark Mark in an attempt to get close enough to use the spell on Voldemort. All was going find until during a Death Eater meeting, Harry discovered Ron and Hermione were captured. In his wacky attempt to save his two best friends, Hermione ended up being raped by Lucius Malfoy and Draco was put into a coma. (The spell didn't work as well as he planned!) Snape gave up his position as a spy to save Harry, forced to leave Draco behind, causing much Drama in the life of Harry. The story ends with both Harry and Snape being forced to spend their summer at Number 12 Grimmuald Place. This story will be picking up right where it left off._

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I originally posted this as a Harry/Draco fic, but I'm now changing it to Harry/Severus. There are both pairings in this story, but I find more Snarry fans are okay with some Drarry than Drarry fans are with Snarry. (If that makes sense..lol)

Oh, and don't forget to **REVIEW!!!!**

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**Finding Redemption**

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**Coming Of Age**

"Happy Birthday Harry!" Remus beams as I entered the kitchen. Today, Remus was throwing me a birthday party to help cheer me up. In reality, it was only making me more miserable, but I kept that to myself. I've been living at number 12 all summer with Remus. I guess he was awfully lonely after Sirius' death, so having me here made him happy. I've been so miserable since Draco's, for lack of a better word, accident, that I wasn't much of a house guest. Then again, Remus always had Severus.

Severus was forced to live here on Dumbledore's orders. Ever since he saved me two months ago, he had to give up in position as a spy. So he was living, as I liked to call it, the Harry Potter lifestyle. Where Dumbledore tells you when you can or can't do something, and your constantly stuck inside a house with people you'd rather not be around.

He was the least of my worries today. Around five o'clock tonight, this house would be packed with Weasleys. I haven't spoken to anyone in the family besides Ginny, who wrote me a few times. We never talked of anything serious, and she didn't dare to mention Draco. Mr. And Mrs. Weasley sometimes stopped by here doing order business, but I would lock myself in my room avoiding them. I wasn't ready to deal with the questionable looks. I didn't have a choice tonight.

"So, are you excited for tonight?" Remus pulled me away from my thoughts.

"Yeah." I lied, and Snape snorted.

"You seem almost more excited then me Potter." He retorted sarcastically.

"Well I think a party would do wonders for both of your attitudes. Seriously all you two do is mope around all day. You both need to lighten up." There was no chance I was going to lighten up anytime soon. It has only been two months since Draco's accident and the healers said he had made no improvements. Of course, I never got a chance to see for myself, because I wasn't allowed to leave the house.

Because of the raid on headquarters, which resulted in the kidnapping of Ron, Hermione, and Tonks, Dumbledore didn't want me to leave until I was able to apparate. Now that I'm seventeen, I can get tested anytime, but I can't leave without an escort, so I'd have to wait till I find someone willing to take me.

"Remus, I know you're only trying to help, but it's just.."

"You can't really make up for your fiancée being put into a coma by throwing a party with a group full of eager red heads you'd rather not see." Snape finished my thoughts. Obviously I wasn't going to say it like that, but he wasn't wrong.

"Honestly Severus, you are not helping!" Lupin scowled at his former schoolmate and colleague.

"I never once claimed I was trying to help." Snape smirked, almost as if he was flirting with the man I considered as an uncle. I couldn't help the tinge of jealousy creeping up. Things with Severus and myself have been weird to say the least. Besides when I first arrived, we hardly talked. We would share some casual conversation during meals with Remus, but that was about it. I wasn't sure if anything would be normal between us again.

"Severus, please don't make this harder than it already is." Remus begged before addressing me again. "Can't you just try and have a good time tonight? It is your birthday after all."

"Yeah, Rem, I will. I do appreciate everything, and all, but I just don't know if I'm ready to be around big crowds." I fumbled for more excuses that wouldn't hurt his feelings. "But maybe this is just what I need to you know, help me move on." Remus smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"That's the spirit. Now Severus, when you're finished with your tea, I would appreciate if you would join me upstairs." Then he left, leaving me alone with Severus for the first time in a while.

"That was a load of crap." He said referring to my lame excuse.

"What does he want to see you for?" I said ignoring his comment, my jealousy creeping up on me again.

"He wants me to help set up for you party." He scowled and I couldn't help but snicker.

"And you're going to help him?" I mocked him.

"Hardly. I'll be returning to my room for the rest of the evening." He said matter-of-factly, and I couldn't help but feel a little upset.

"You're not going to be at the party?" I tried to hide the hurt in my voice.

"I was under the impression that you didn't want me to attend." I have been a little cold towards him lately. I still put some of the blame of Draco's state on him, but I still couldn't help being comforted by his presence.

"Oh, well, it doesn't really matter. I mean if you don't want to go, I won't hold it against you or anything." I glanced up at him, trying to see if I could get any type of reaction out of him but his mask of no emotions remained as strong as it always was.

"I'm sure all your friends would be more comfortable without me there." He didn't show it, but I'm sure there was some pain evident in those words. "You probably wouldn't even notice I was there."

I didn't say anything in response. We just sat in an awkward silence. I actually envied him for being able to just retreat in his room, ignoring the masses which were sure to arrive.

A few hours later, I sat in the sitting room with Remus as we heard people coming noisily down the hall (I was very thankful Remus found a way to put a permanent silencing charm around Mrs. Black's portrait). Then the room was suddenly filled with the whole Weasley bunch. A few other order members showed up, but I wasn't really concerned with any of them.

As far as I knew, there was only one person here who didn't resent me for the events that happened in the beginning of the summer and she was heading straight towards me, her long red hair flowing behind her.

"Harry!" She threw her arms around my shoulders. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Gin, I'm fine." I didn't sound very convincing and she just held on tighter.

"Have you gone and seen him?" This was the first time she has mentioned Draco, even though we been writing all summer.

"I saw him the once, after it happened, but not since, no." She pulled away looking at me with sad eyes. "I'm fine, really."

"I don't even see why you would care, Ginny. You know what he is." Ron came up from behind, whispering so only we could hear.

"Shut up Ronald. He is not."

"Check it out for yourself if you don't believe me." He said smugly, getting a little louder as he continued. "Saw it with my own eyes just before he handed Hermione off.."

"Enough!" Mrs. Weasley chimed in from behind, obviously picking up on the hostility. "Harry! Happy Birthday!" She pulled me into a rib crushing hug. Even though she was acting her normal self towards me, I know she felt different about me. Everyone did. Not saying she hated me or anything, but our relationship has changed. Just like all my relationships have changed.

"Thanks Mrs. Weasley." It seemed more routine than genuine, but that didn't matter. I was thinking about what Ron said. I tried to ignore those thoughts while I went through the motions, greeting everyone, but as soon as I was alone with Ginny again, there they were once again.

"So do you want to tell me what really happened?" I knew what she was talking about without further explanation, and I really didn't feel like getting into it. "I only know what Ron said, and what we manage to hear from mum and dad using extendable ears."

"What are you looking for?" I spat angrily at her.

"I just wanted to know, you know."

"You looking for this." I lifted up my sleeve, allowing my dark mark to show. "There it is."

"Harry," she said sympathetically, "That's not what I want. I just want to know what happened. The truth, not what Ron says." I should of known she would never believe Ron's version of things, even if I sort of did myself. I explained pretty much the basics of the events that I hid from her, along with the rest of my friends, all last year. She listened tentatively, and then just slung her arm around my shoulder when I was finished.

"Draco will wake up, Harry. Don't even think otherwise." I tried to force a smile but it just wouldn't come. I wanted to have hope and believe Draco would wake up and my life would get back on track, but nothing ever worked out for me, what would make this any different?

Before I had a chance to respond, Mrs. Weasley entered the room announcing dinner was ready. When I made my way downstairs to the kitchen, I heard a familiar voice behind me. I turned to see Severus coming down the stairs, speaking with Kingsley. I offered him my first sincere smile of the night.

"What is he doing here?" Ginny groaned, and I forgot how much she didn't know about my relationship with the man. It did mildly surprise me that Ron never mentioned anything, since he seems to love spreading rumors about my life. I guess I would just have to be thankful for small favors. Last thing I need is the whole school thinking I slept with our hated Potions master.

Dinner went along pretty smoothly. Lots of small talk. Fred and George updated me on everything going on with their shop, Kingsley and Mr. Weasley kept us up to date on the Ministry, and Ginny told me all about her relationship with Dean, and how she wasn't sure if it was going to last.

"Why? I thought you guys were happy." I questioned, but in reality I couldn't say I was upset. If Ginny was with Dean all the time, I would pretty much have no one to talk to. She was the only friend I had left.

"We were. I do like him, but I just always feel so bored around him. I need someone more exciting. Maybe I'll date a Slytherin." I laughed a little reminiscing on the beginning of my relationship with Draco.

"You want to date a Death Eater too? Maybe get yourself a nice tattoo to match Harry's?" Ron jibed, obviously eavesdropping on our conversation. Ginny opened up her mouth to say something but I didn't give her a chance.

"Don't you ever say anything like that about Draco ever again!" Everyone just stared at us. When no one said anything, I was certain they were looking for some answers as to what really went on.

"Why not? It's true! Both of you guys. He let his father do that to Hermione but neither of you cared."

"I cared! And so did Draco! You don't understand!"

"I'm sure Malfoy really cared."

"He gave you his wand didn't he? He gave you his only means of protection to help get Hermione and Tonks to safety, or did you forget about that?" I had to stop myself from crying thinking maybe Draco would be with me here today if he would have had that wand. "He faced Voldemort wandless and now he's at St. Mungo's and might never wake up. How can you even say he didn't care?"

"Hey guys, calm down alright? We're all friends here." Tonks spoke up trying to ease some of the tension, but it didn't help much.

"Who's friends?" Mrs. Weasley gave her son a disapproving look. "I'm going home." Ron then stormed out of the kitchen, no one moving to bring him back.

"Well," Mr. Weasley spoke up. "I could go for some cake about now!" He said excitedly and I was thankful he changed the subject, gladly willing to ignore all thoughts of Ron.

We all ate cake, everyone keeping the conversation away from anything that would offend me. Then I opened my presents. Mostly it was just basic things. There was only one present which really seemed to grab my attention, and it was from Remus. It was a frame photograph of my dad, Sirius, and himself. Sirius stood in the center, with his arms wrapped around both of the other men. They were probably about fourteen in this picture, and Peter wasn't in it, which was nice. They were so happy, and it reminded me of my friendship with Ron and Hermione. How close we were, and now that's gone.

I don't think I could have been happier when the party came to an end and everyone left. I was alone with Remus, Snape must have escaped sometime earlier in the evening.

"I really loved your gift." He smiled and sat down on the arm chair. "Thanks."

"You're welcome Harry." He seemed uneasy, and I knew he was going to mention the events of the evening, especially those concerning Ron, but I didn't want to talk about it. "I know things are tough right now, but you guys will make up, I know it."

"I don't think so."

"You guys have had fights before?" He asked, knowing very well that we have. It was pretty common for Ron and me to fight.

"This is different. There's a whole lot more to it than what everyone else is seeing."

"Tell me then," he was almost pleading, "Let me in, Harry. You can trust me."

"I know I can, it's just there is so much going on. Too many secrets, I don't want to get anyone into trouble."

"Tell me what you feel comfortable with then." I didn't want to tell him I really didn't feel comfortable telling him anything, so I knew I had to give him something. I explained everything that happened between me and Ron last year. How I fell in love with him, how he hurt me, and then finally realized he felt the same way when I was in the middle of my relationship with Draco. Then I explained everything that happened on the night of Draco's accident.

"You guys sure have been through a lot, I won't deny that." That was clearly an understatement. "But Ron does love you, and will forgive you. Who knows? Maybe you could even start something new with him."

"WHAT?" I couldn't believe he would suggest that.

"I didn't mean to upset you. I know you love Draco, but you can't wait for him forever. Harry, the healers say.."

"I know what the healers say, but they're wrong." I swallowed the lump forming in my throat, willing myself to continue. "He has to wake up."

"Well, even still, would it be so bad to have a little love while you're waiting for him?" Actually no, I would love to be loved. I hated sleeping alone every night and having no one to share kisses with, It was a lonely life.

"Not Ron." Was all I said.

"Well, I'm sure once you get back to school, you'll find someone." I couldn't think of anyone at school I would even want to be with. Everyone in school thought of me as 'The Chosen One' and I would never know who I could trust. My entire time at Hogwarts I've only known two people who really could care less about that title. Draco and Severus. But those both weren't options anymore.

I said goodnight and headed up to my room. The door was open, which I knew for sure I kept closed, and wondered if Kreacher was sneaking around. "Lumos" I whispered, and didn't see a trace of the elf. Then I remembered I was seventeen and could use magic. I managed the fireplace flames to rise, lighting the room entirely, and thats when I noticed a package on my bed.

I walked over to it, eying it cautiously. It seemed safe enough, so I gently removed the wrappings. Inside was a small table mirror. I lifted it up closer and then I realized, it wasn't my reflection in it. It was Draco. There he was lying in his hospital bed, sleeping peacefully. My heart almost broke from the sight of it. I looked back down at the wrappings and saw a small piece of parchment laying where I picked the mirror up from. The familiar script stuck out at me.

_Happy Birthday_

That was all it said. I couldn't keep the smile off my face. This was truly the best birthday present I ever received.

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**A/N: So that's chapter one! Hope you like! Reviews are greatly appreciated! : )**


	2. Need For Love

**Need For Love**

I stood out front of Severus' bedroom door. I spent the last three hours staring at the mirror he gave me for my birthday. It was the most thoughtful gift anyone could have given me, but it was driving me insane.

I hated that he was so thoughtful. It made it that much harder to hate him. I tried to tell myself that it was all his fault Draco was in a coma, but I knew that wasn't true. He did what he had to do, the same way I did that night. He made the smarter decision even if I didn't agree with it. I wanted to hate him, but in all honesty, I just felt an indifference towards him. I could of lived with that, but then he had to go and get me the stupid thoughtful amazing gift to screw everything up.

I need to stop thinking too much. I'm making things more difficult than they actually are. I'm just going to go in there, say thank you, and then go back to my room. I didn't bother with such pleasantries like knocking, and walked right in. The room was dark, and I could see that Severus was lying in bed. I turned to leave before he whispered my name.

"Harry?" For a minute I actually forgot what I was doing there. "Are you okay?" He whispered softly.

He shook me out of my stupor with his concern for me. Who is he to care about my well-being?

"You're an asshole!" I yelled, and he definitely looked taken aback.

"Did I do something?" _Do something? Ha! Did he do something? Like he didn't already know._

"Why did you give me that mirror?" I shouted accusingly.

"Well I know that Albus doesn't want you to go and visit him. I thought maybe that would help." He got off the bed, wearing only his briefs and I wished he would of stayed under the covers. "If you don't want it, I'll take it back."

"No, I love it."

"Then what exactly is your problem." He stood in front of me, his thin body only inches away from me. His pale skin practically glowing from the moonlight seeping through the window.

"Do you think you could put on some clothes?" I croaked out. If I was going to have a serious conversation with this man, there was no way I could look at him in those tight briefs, that didn't leave anything to the imagination.

"Of course." He walked over to his wardrobe and pulled out a bathrobe and put it on. Even though I know I asked for it, I suddenly wished I didn't. I noticed I was slightly hard, and I felt pathetic for being aroused so easily. Then again, it had been two months since I had any type of release. I didn't even bother to wank, and was very much regretting it now. "Now, do you mind explaining to me what has got you so upset?"

I wrapped my arms around his neck and attacked his lips with my own. It was a completely inappropriate reaction, but I couldn't help myself. After a few seconds, I realized that he wasn't responding and felt very stupid. I pulled away and looked at his shocked face. I ran to the door, feeling more embarrassed then I've ever felt before, locking myself in my room for the rest of the night.

The next morning, as I dragged myself into the kitchen, I was relieved when I only found Remus there.

"Good you're awake. Get dressed were going out." I suddenly felt like a little kid, excitement building up inside me. I haven't been out of the house in two months, so it was something to celebrate.

"Where are we going?" I said trying to sound mature about the situation.

"To take your apparation test of course." I rushed up the stairs, no longer trying to contain my excitement. Then I bumped directly into Severus. He held my upper arms tightly, holding me about a foot away from him.

"Harry." I said nothing. "I think we should talk."

"Can't. Going out." He looked at me questionably. "Remus is taking me to take my apparation test."

"Oh." He gently removed his hands from my arms. "Tonight then?" I nodded, while making a mental note to avoid him all night.

Remus used side along apparation to get us there, avoiding stepping away from the porch. After I got over the uncomfortable feeling of being squeezed through a tube, I realized we were in the Ministry's atrium.

"What are we doing here?" I asked a little confused.

"This is where you have to take the test."

"But Ron and Hermione took theirs in Hogsmeade."

"They send Ministry officials when testing large groups, but assuming you don't want to wait until next year," I nodded vigorously in agreement, "You'll have to take it here."

After checking in and waiting three hours, I finally got to take my test. Thankfully I passed. I don't know if I could stand waiting in that overly crowded room another day, under the watchful eyes of strangers. It was a little nerve racking apparating home, without a healer standing by, but I managed just fine. When I got inside, Dumbledore was in the sitting room talking with Severus.

"How did it go?" He asked, eyes twinkling as usual.

"I passed." He beamed, and I chanced a glance at Severus, who showed no emotion whatsoever, but that didn't surprise me.

"Congratulations!" He beamed before returning his attention to Severus. "I suppose we shall catch up again soon!" Snape nodded before getting up and leaving the room. I can't say I was upset. I still felt humiliated over my display last night.

"Harry," Dumbledore made his way closer to me, "I know you must be excited, but I still don't feel comfortable with you leaving the house alone." I don't know why I was the slightest bit surprised. "I would prefer if you didn't leave at all, but if you're anything like Severus, you are feeling a little closed off."

"You could say that." I mumbled, but he didn't bother to respond.

"But as it is, if you wish to visit our young Draco, I must ask you have an escort. I'm sure Remus wouldn't mind." I looked over at him who nodded.

"Of course I won't mind, anytime. Well except for tonight of course."

"Very well. It's settled then. I doubt I'll be around much, but I'll be sure to see you in just a months time." He patted me on the shoulder before heading out.

After hiding away in my room for the entire afternoon, I headed to the kitchen for dinner. I was surely disappointed when I saw Severus at the stove.

"Where's Remus?"

"Did you forget?" I momentarily looked confused until I remembered it was a full moon. "It's a good thing too. It seems we have something to talk about."

"Actually, I'm not really hungry." I turned to leave the kitchen, ignoring my stomach growling, but Snape stopped me by grabbing my arm.

"Harry." I looked up into his black eyes and relaxed a little. "You kissed me last night."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." I leaned back against the door, and he moved forward, placing him just inches in front of me. "What do you want from me?"

"What?" I asked in confusion. "I don't want anything."

"Then why did you kiss me last night? And why did I have to spend a good part of last year fending off your advances." I blushed slightly from the sudden remembrance. "You're still angry with me for saving you instead of Draco."

It wasn't a question.

"No." I answered despite his desire for one. "I know you didn't, you had to. I understand."

"Then what do you want from me?"

"I want you to love me." The words left my lips before I even had time to think them over. But as I sat there and watched his face harden, I knew it was incredibly selfish of me.

"I already do." He leaned forward, I assumed he was going to kiss me but he whispered in my ear instead. "The question is, how do you feel about me?"

I suddenly lost all ability to form words.

After a few seconds of my complete silence, he turned around and returned to the stove.

"I'm making chicken Marsala, I hope you like it." The complete change in topic didn't do anything to cure me of my silence. I stood against the door dumbstruck. "Well sit down if you're going to eat." I didn't move. He turned to face me, and the cold stare he gave me made me catch my breath. I had to say something.

"I like you." He looked up at me, suddenly interested. "I mean, I have since, you know. But there was Draco. I love him."

"I'm not asking you to stop loving Draco. I wouldn't even dream of it."

"I know. It's just, he's not here."

"So I'm convenient for you then?"

"No, that's not what I mean. I wanted you before, but we couldn't. Because he was here, now he's not." He seemed to think that over for a while before speaking.

A small smile grazed his lips before he looked away again. "Sit down and eat."

We had a very quiet dinner. Which was fine until we finished eating, and became stuck in an awkward silence. After a few minutes, he got up and left the kitchen. I hated myself for not being able to say anything worth while. I didn't want the night to end like that so I jumped out of my chair and ran up the stairs.

By the time I made it to his door, he was just going inside. Without a word, I walked inside before him. I began to take off my shoes and jeans, and he just watched me in the doorway. I pulled back the covers and laid down, making myself comfortable.

"Well? Are you coming in or not?" I said with a big stupid grin on my face. The same small smile graced his lips once again.

"You better not snore." He said, the same way he had the first time we shared a bed together. We shared a few intense kisses, but nothing more. It was perfect.

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The next morning I woke up, snuggled up close to Severus. He was still sleeping, which I loved to watch. He was so different in his sleep. No masks. He was just Severus, vulnerable like the rest of us. When his eyes finally opened up, I leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Good morning." He chanced a glance at the clock as he absently stroked my hair. It felt so nice to be in bed with him again. It was so perfectly us.

"You should go before Lupin starts a search party for you and finds you in here."

"Aren't you the romantic?" I smiled, but he once again held his stern attitude.

"I'm serious Harry. It won't do either of us any good if he finds you here." I hated how right he was. I couldn't even imagine what Remus would say if he found out.

Of course, I wouldn't have to wait too long. When I was just two steps away from the door, he turned into the hall coming from the stairwell.

"Harry! What are you?" He cut his question short when he realized who's door I was standing outside of.

"Mornin' Rem. Um, I'm just going to jump in the shower." I ran out of there as quick as I could.

After I took a shower and dressed, I made my way down to the kitchen. I could hear my two roommates arguing very loudly before I even got half way down the stairs.

"He is a boy!" Remus yelled and I stopped in my place to listen.

"In case you forgot Lupin, yesterday was his seventeenth birthday, which very well means.."

"Just because it's legal doesn't mean it's right." He sounded very worn out, presumably from his long night in his other form. "Besides I have a feeling this has been going on before last night."

"You don't know anything." I could tell by Severus' voice, this whole conversation was bothering him greatly, even if it wasn't obvious to Remus.

"He is your student Severus." Snape remained silent. "You're taking advantage of him."

"I most certainly am not."

"He's grieving over the loss of Draco. He's not in the right state of mind to be making life changing decisions."

This was all a little too much dipping into my private issues for me to listen idly, so I decided to show myself. As soon as they realized I was there, they both stopped.

Remus spoke first. "Harry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry or anything, I'm just.."

"Worried. Yeah, got that." I glanced over at Sev, giving him an 'I need to talk to him alone' look, which he caught on to right away. He exited the kitchen without a word.

"Harry, I know this situation with Draco is unfortunate, but this won't make you feel any better." I tried not to yell, but it was a little hard considering how angry I was.

"I'm not doing any of this to make me feel better after what happened with Draco. I like Severus, as hard as it may be for you to believe. Besides, I don't need anyone's approval on who I do or don't date."

"Did you forget that he is your teacher? He shouldn't be in a relationships with his students. Dumbledore should know."

"It's not like he's going around with half the student body. And I'm no ordinary student and you know it. Besides, weren't you saying last night that I should have someone to love?"

"Yes, but.."

"So this is all because of who I chose. I bet you wouldn't accuse Ron of taking advantage of me if I slept with him."

Understanding graced Remus' face. "You're right. I'm being judgmental because of your age difference. I do get it, I do, but you have to understand my side of this. Severus and I are the same age, and I consider you my godson of sorts, so it's a little hard for me to picture you two together is all."

"We're not even officially together, not yet anyway. It was just last night."

"You slept with him after one night?" I almost laughed.

"We didn't sleep together. Well, we slept together, but we didn't have sex." I didn't feel it necessary to mention that we have had sex once before. He looked relieved.

"Still. I think Dumbledore should know about this."

"God Remus. Will you just stay out of it? It's none of your fucking business." I left without another word, leaving a very stunned Remus in my wake.

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**A/N: I love Snarry fluff! Review please!**


	3. Discretion

**Discretion**

It's the last day of summer break, and I have absolutely nothing to do. Severus left a few days ago to get settled in at Hogwarts, so I was pretty lonely. Remus was here, but I didn't feel like speaking to him. Ever since he caught me sneaking out of Severus' room the morning after my birthday, he's been doing everything he could to keep us apart.

After I yelled at him, he came up to my room apologizing for interfering. Then he asked me if I wanted to visit Draco, which was the one activity he knew I wouldn't say no to. I gladly took the opportunity to visit. It was a little awkward with Remus. Normally, he didn't ask me many questions about my relationship with Draco, but that day he couldn't stop.

I could tell he was only trying to make me realize I loved Draco and to stay away from Severus, but it wasn't working. I loved Draco, that wasn't going to change, but Severus was okay with that. He wasn't going to push me away from him. Draco was my first love, and I will always love him.

I did get to speak with the Healer handling his case though. She didn't seem to optimistic about the chances he would wake up. Then again, she really had no idea what happened to him.

"Who brought him?" I asked her.

"His mother." She smiled timidly at me. "She was a lot nicer than I would have expected."

The Malfoy's were a very high profile family, and most people knew Lucius was a Death Eater, even though he was cleared of all charges, so I wasn't surprised by her admission.

"I know." I wondered for a minute what Narcissa said when bringing in her son. "Did she tell you how it happened?" The witch just shook her head. "Nothing at all?"

"Do you know something?" She asked sort of accusingly.

"No, I mean, I wasn't there." She squinted her eyes at me as if trying to read my mind, but I could feel that she wasn't actually trying to. "I know who did it though."

"Who?"

"Voldemort." She almost tripped over herself. I just rolled my eyes at her. It never ceased to amaze me how people can be so scared over a name.

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but why would You-Know-Who want to attack a young boy?"

My heart began to ache. I knew exactly why he would do this.

"To hurt me." He succeeded tremendously. I held back the tears. I really didn't need this woman to go to the press and say how the Boy-Who-Lived cried to me.

"I'm sorry." I was grateful she didn't say anymore.

I've gone back to see him a few other times, but I never spoke to that Healer again. I usually would just ramble to him about the boring mundane activities I was up to. I knew he wasn't able to hear me, but if I didn't say something, I would just cry. Now that school is starting up tomorrow, I won't be able to see him anymore, but I always had my mirror.

There was one activity I didn't mention to him though. My time spent with Severus. After the night we shared together, I thought we would have a lot more like it, but I should of known better. As soon as I returned from the hospital, I went to check up on him.

"Can I come in?" I asked, standing just outside the doorway.

"I don't think that would be wise." I hated when he did this.

"You're not letting those things Remus said get to you, are you?" He sighed and I immediately knew the answer.

"Most of those things were true."

"Yeah, like what?"

"I am your professor. Just because we've broken the rules once before, doesn't mean it was right."

"But were not at Hogwarts now." I said firmly. I'm an adult and we are not at school, so technically there wasn't a rule against it.

"There is more to it than that."

I knew what he was thinking, but I wasn't sure if he would actually say it.

"Like?" I pressed him. He pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly weighing the pros and cons of telling me.

"It's only been two months. You need time to grieve. I shouldn't take advantage." Apparently he decided to go for it anyway.

"That logic might actually work if I didn't want you beforehand. Sev, I've wanted you for so long, you know that. Now that there is noting holding us back, you're going to push me away?"

"I'm sorry," was all he said before our conversation got stopped short by Remus appearing in the hallway. I briefly wondered if he was listening the whole time while Severus closed his door.

I didn't say anything to Remus, but I wanted to. I wanted to blame him. I wanted to yell at him for destroying my chance at a little happiness, but I didn't. I knew I would regret it down the road. I always did.

Besides, it didn't really matter now. The night before he left, I managed to convince him to drop his rules for the night. I sneaked into his room, long after everyone was asleep wearing only my boxers. As soon as I climbed into the bed, he woke up.

"Harry? What are you doing?" I answered by placing kisses down his jaw. "Harry.." He moaned before pushing me off of him. "We can't."

"We can." I resumed my kissing.

"What if we get caught?" He asked without making a move to stop me. I know he wanted this just as much as I did, if not more.

"We won't." He then wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me up so I was on top of him, our chest pressing together. Our lips met roughly before I slid down his body, stripping him of his singular article of clothing. His cock hung there limply until I began pumping it quickly.

Severus' moans were only helping to intensify my own erection, which I quickly released from the constricting fabric of my boxers.

I didn't need to take things any farther before he was bucking his hips trying to fuck my hand. I slowly released him and began to kiss his mouth.

"Not yet." I whispered as I pulled away from his mouth.

"Stop being a tease Potter." He spat with venom, but I didn't give in. I straddled his hips and began to suck on my fingers slowly. I moved my way downwards, until I ended up in between his legs  
I slipped one of my saliva covered fingers inside of him. He groaned from the intrusion, and used my other hand to stroke him once again to help him relax.

My efforts worked wonders. I lowered my head, darting my tongue out to tease his head.

"Potter." He moaned and I released my hands and sat up abruptly.

"What did you call me?" I said with only a little humor in my voice. He lifted his head up to smirk at me.

"Will you just fuck me already?" I glared at him, not moving. "Harry." I complied with a smile on my face. I lifted his hips up as he wrapped his legs around my waist. I slipped my slick cock into his entrance. I resisted the temptation to begin thrusting as I allowed Severus to get use to the feeling. All the while I stroked him at a steady pace.

He came shortly after my head rubbed against his prostate a few times. I pulled out, still hard, not wanting to fuck his too sensitive arse. It didn't go unnoticed as he flipped me over so I was laying by his side to help me reach my own release.

–

Thoughts of Severus' mouth wrapped around me was making me hard again. I can still remember the way he fondled my balls as he swirled his tongue down my shaft, humming, the vibrations making my orgasm rock through my body.

"What are you all dreamy eyes about?" I repositioned myself in my chair so my erection would be less noticeable to the woman standing in my doorway.

"What are you doing here Ginny?" She walked in and threw her bag on the bed which use to be Ron's.

"Didn't anyone tell you?" I shook my head. "We're spending the night here. They thought it would be best if we traveled in numbers and all."

"When you say we're spending the night?"

"I mean Ronald and I." I sighed.

"Don't worry. I talked mum into letting me spend the night with you, and Ron taking my old room."

"That's good. I don't fancy spending any alone time with Ron." I groaned inwardly knowing tomorrow night I'd be stuck with him all year.

"Yeah, I didn't think so." Ginny plopped herself down on the bed and began taking off her shoes. "I wouldn't expect another outburst. Mum talked to him after your party. He's still mad, but I think he understands now."

Ginny was right.

That night at dinner, although he wasn't the happy-go-lucky guy who use to be my best friend, he wasn't hostile at all. It's a step in the right direction at least. I'm not sure if we would ever be friends again, but I still had a glimmer of hope. Then there was Hermione.

She was the biggest reason why I was terrified to go back to school. She was raped by Lucius Malfoy because of me. She could never forgive me. I don't think I would be able to accept forgiveness even if she was offering it.

"Hey Gin! Fancy a fly?" That was the first thing Ron said in front of me.

"Yeah sure," she stood up and I suddenly felt very alone. "You coming Harry?"

"No, I don't think so." I said lazily.

"Oh, come on. There's nothing else to do."

"Actually, I have some last minute homework I gotta do." I lied. She sighed but headed off with her brother anyway.

"Things seem to be better between you two then?" Remus asked after they left.

"Well he hasn't accused me of anything yet, so I'd say so."

"Harry you two will make up and be back to your old selves, I'm sure of it."

"If you say so." But I didn't believe it for a minute. Even if he ever did decide to forgive me, it could never be like it once was. Too many things have happened now that you just can't leave in the pass. They will haunt me forever.

–

The following morning, we all arrived at King's Cross station. Mr. And Mrs. Weasley, Remus, Tonks, Kingsley, and Hestia Jones escorted us. I felt mixed emotions of comfort and dread. I was happy to be going back to Hogwarts. I couldn't wait to begin Quidditch again. Though, I wasn't too happy about seeing all the people who hated me. Then there was the fact that I wouldn't have Draco there anymore.

Last year he was the one I could always turn to, but now he's gone. Severus will be there of course, but it won't be the same. He can't walk me to class holding my hand. He can't lay with me by the lake. He can't admit to anyone his true feelings for me. Everything with him will have to be a secret. Besides, knowing him, it will take a bit of coaxing for him to even do anything.

As I thought of ways I could convince him, I spotted Hermione hugging her parents goodbye. She turned to glance at us and then smiled. She walked over to us, embracing Ron in a hug right away. Then she hugged Ginny.

Then she hugged me.

Saying I was shocked would definitely be an understatement. She held on a little longer to my limp form, arms dangling awkwardly at my sides.

"How was your summer?" She asked casually, but I just grunted nonsense. She quickly began talking animatedly with Ginny as we headed onto the train.

I stayed silent from the moment Ron and Hermione joined us after finishing their prefect duties, only letting the occasional yeah slip through my lips when asked a question. I couldn't understand why Hermione was being so nice to me, but as soon as we got off the train, she cornered me.

"I don't want you to blame yourself Harry. I know you do, but don't. You did what you had to, and I'll be okay."

"But-" I tried to reply.

"No. It's not your fault, and neither is Draco. It's Voldermort's and Lucius Malfoy's faults. I don't blame you, and neither does anyone else."

"Everyone else does Hermione. They all act different around me, I can tell. And then there's Ron of course."

"Oh, you know Ron. Never thinks before he speaks. He knows better now. And the odd behavior isn't because of what happened that night, it's because of everything that happened last year."

I stared at her very confused, but she just rolled her eyes.

"Everyone knows what happened between you and Ron." I groaned thinking of our brief semi-relationship. "Then you start dating Draco, and after you're history, you can't blame anyone for being surprised, even if he is a good guy underneath all those insults."

That was the first time Hermione really said something nice about Draco and I couldn't help but smile.

"Then you know, with Professor Snape." That was unexpected.

"What about him?" I asked trying not to give anything away with my voice. Ron was the only person who truly knew what happened between us, and up until now, I was sure he hadn't said anything.

"Well, you two are_ friendly_ to one another now, which I guess isn't too weird because now he doesn't have to openly hate you, not being a spy anymore, but I guess it's just different." I sighed relief.

"Ron told me the truth." She paused, waiting for me to say something, but I didn't. "I told him not to tell anyone else. You know I don't think it's wise to be in a relationship with a teacher, but it isn't my place to say anything, so I won't."

"Thanks."

"But I will offer some advice. If you are still," she blushed slightly, "being, um, friends. Be more discreet."

I tried to process all of that. Mostly I was just hoping that Ron would listen to Hermione. It would be hard enough to convince Severus to do anything with me in school, but if a rumor surfaces about it, I could just forget about it.

When I walked into the Great Hall, I looked up at the head table, making eye contact with him, who scowled maliciously. I had to bite my lip to prevent myself from smiling. I guess I should try working on being more secretive.

-

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**A/N: Reviewers are the coolest.**

Oh and a resonse to** Kimberly M.B**., I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't say who Harry would end up with, and don't plan on it for a while.


	4. September

**September**

September was interesting to say the least. With a disapproving Ron, a too understanding Hermione, Ginny taking it upon herself to be my watcher, and a bunch of curious Slytherins, I've had my hands full.

Things with Ron and Hermione were just..weird. That was the only way I had to explain it. Hermione seemed to take it upon herself to talk about the night I wish I could forget over and over. I knew why she was doing it, but it didn't make me feel any better about it.

She was trying to prove to both Ron and myself that she was dealing with what happened and that she didn't blame me. I can't say I wasn't proud of her, because I was. She was handling everything remarkably well. Ron obviously didn't want to hear anything she had to say. He still wanted to blame me and hate me, but if I know Hermione, she won't let that happen. I don't know if I should love her or hate her for it.

In some ways, I wish everything could go back to normal. I wish the three of us could be great friends again like when we were younger, but I know that was just wishful thinking. We're not kids anymore.

Too much has happened between us, especially between me and Ron. All the pain he put me through in the beginning of last year and then his back and forth feelings are too much. How could we ever been friends again? Throw the whole situation at Malfoy Manor, you can just forget about it. Hermione didn't seem to see it that way.

"You two are getting a little ridiculous." She said after Ron stormed out of the common room once again.

"Why don't you just give up?" I groaned. For the tenth time this week, she attempted to get Ron to apologize to me, when Ron still thought there was nothing to apologize for. I had to agree with him. I have a glimmer of hope he might forgive me, but apologize?

"I'm sorry. You two might be able to throw away friendships like their nothing, but I can't. Six years we were best friends. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" It wasn't a surprise for her to get mad during one of these arguments, but she was on the verge of tears this time.

"Of course it means something to me 'Mione. It's just, what are we suppose to do? Forget everything that happened last year?"

"YES!"

"You know we can't.."

"Yes, you really can, you just don't want to. The way I see it, this all dwells down to what happened to me. I'm dealing with it, so can you guys."

"Hermione.." I looked at her with sad eyes. I still felt very uncomfortable every time she mentioned that night. "I wish it was that easy, but that was just the last straw. So many things happened last year that can't be forgotten."

"Is this seriously about sex?"

"No, there was more to it than that. I loved him, and he hurt me." I slouched even lower on the couch. "But there was so much back and forth between us last year, and with what happened to you, it's too much."

She joined me on the couch, her shoulders relaxing a little. "You think I wasn't hurt by that too Harry? I had feelings for Ron too, then he used me to hurt you." I felt like an idiot. Here I am complaining over all these stupid problems with Ron, where Hermione had dealt with much worse, and is still being the bigger person. "I know Ron can be stubborn, but maybe if you try talking to him alone, well, maybe he'll listen."

I nodded my head dumbly. I didn't want to do what she was asking, but if I didn't, I would feel like a real jerk. Now I have to try and reason with Ron, this should be fun.

Of course, Ron wasn't the only Weasley I had to worry about. Ginny, in her efforts to help me deal with Draco, insists I am never allowed to be alone. She refused to believe me when I told her I was fine, so now I have my own little shadow. Which would be fine normally, except I haven't seen Severus outside of class all week.

"Want to go for a walk?" She asked, sneaking up behind me. It has only been thirty seconds since Hermione left for the library.

"Geez Gin, do you have a tracker on me or something?" She just smiled, linking her arm in mine, as we started to walk. "Can't even be alone for two seconds."

"Honestly, is it really that bad having me around?"

"You know it isn't, it's just, I'd like to have some alone time."

"You have plenty of alone time in your room." She stated matter-of-fatly.

"You mean when I'm sleeping in the room I share with four other boys who don't particularly like me much?"

"Precisely." I rolled my eyes at her.

That's pretty much how every opportunity I had alone ended. Ginny would come sneaking out of nowhere with something for us to do. I decided the only way I would be able to catch some alone time with Severus, was to land myself in detention. Shouldn't be too hard to do, unless of course your Potion's professor seems quite unwilling to cooperate.

Two weeks, and about three hundred points taken from Gryffindor, I finally landed one by falling asleep in class, which ironically enough, was entirely on accident.

Ginny, of course, accompanied me on my way down to the dungeons.

"Miss Weasley, I don't remember asking you to escort Mister Potter here." The glare she received had her backing away from the doorway quite quickly. Once the door was closed, he proceeded to glare at me. "I want you to clean this classroom, from top to bottom, without magic."

"Sev?" I raised an eyebrow at him. I had no intentions of cleaning his classroom.

"Have we lost our manners Potter?"

"I just thought that we could do something else." I said seductively moving closer to him. "I haven't seen you in so long."

"You see me everyday." He inched away from me slowly.

"You know what I mean. I miss you." He looked as if he was going to respond, but I reached out and embraced him, letting my fingers run up into his hair. I went to kiss him, but he turned his head.

"Harry, stop. Come into my rooms." I followed willingly, eager to have him alone. "What happened over the summer, shouldn't have." I should have expected this. I figured the month wait would have loosened him up a bit, but I was wrong.

"Do we have to go through this every time?"

"This isn't a game Potter. This is my job. My livelihood. My protection. I can't risk just for some cheap thrills."

"Cheap thrills? Is that what I am?" I said gloomily. I wasn't exactly sure what he meant by that, but it didn't make me feel very good.

"I'm sorry Potter, it's not worth it."

"Well, thanks." I replied sarcastically, glancing down at my feet.

"I didn't mean you're not worth it." I looked up just in time to see him cringe from showing his emotions. "It's just too risky Harry."

"Alright, I get it, no sex. But can't we be friends? I'm sure there aren't any rules against that."

"I suppose." I could tell he was just as happy as me at the notion that we wouldn't be forced to stay away from each other, so I jumped him, letting my lips fall against his. He responded to the kiss, but pulled away too soon. "Friends don't normally do that."

"Right. I get it. I'll keep to myself from now on, it's just, I've been wanting to do that all month." A small smile grazed his lips.

"Well I have something we could do, that wouldn't be considered inappropriate."

"Yeah?" He walked over to a corner of his room, tapping his wand against the wall. The wall began to part itself, revealing a small chamber. He reached in, and pulled out none other than Slytherin's book. "You still have that? I thought for sure Dumbledore would have it destroyed."

"We've talked about, but in the end we decided it would be best to try to get good use out of it. It won't ever leave this room though."

"I would hope so." He handed over the book. The rest of my night was spent looking over the book. The whole situation felt highly familiar. I explained to him about my situation with Ginny, which he found oddly amusing, but he did agree to find some way to give me detention next week.

On my way back to Gryffindor tower, I was stopped by a very angry looking Crabbe and Goyle.

"Potter." Goyle spat threateningly, as if he could possibly scare me.

"Gregory. Vincent." The use of their given names didn't seem to go over well.

"You're really asking for it, you know that Potter!" Crabbe spoke up, I just laughed.

"What exactly am I asking for?"

"Crabbe, don't." Goyle stopped him from raising his wand on me. "We're not looking for a fight."

"Could have fooled me. So what exactly do you want?"

"Draco, have you seen him?" He asked timidly, and I finally understood.

"Yeah, I've seen him."

"Well?"

"Well," I sighed, trying to put away all animosity I held for the two. "It doesn't look good."

"But what happened?"

"I'm not sure exactly, why don't you ask your father?" I probably should of held back from saying that, but I couldn't help myself.

"They won't tell us anything." I was surprised by their complete lack of denial, but pretended not to be. "They won't even let us visit him. He'll wake up, right? I mean, he has to." Goyle sounded so desperate, making me feel sorry for him. I know that desperation, because I felt it to. Or I did. That thought just brought on a whole new wave of emotions. How could I give up hope so easily? As I fought back the tears, I answered them.

"I hope so." I chose that moment to walk away, they didn't stop me. I felt incredibly guilty for not being upset about Draco. Just four months ago, we were planning on getting married, and now it seems Crabbe and Goyle care more than I do. I felt terrible.

I got back to the common room after taking a slight detour, giving me time to thing. Sure enough, I found Ginny, Hermione, and Ron all sitting in the corner talking to one another.

"Harry! How was you're detention?" Ginny asked with a smile on her face.

"What?" I looked bewildered than remembered that was the original reason I went down to Severus' "Oh right, it was fine."

"Yeah I bet it was fine." I heard Ron mumble under his breath. Hermione glared at him, causing Ginny to stare back and forth between the two.

"What do you mean by that Ron?" She asked curiously, and I hoped he would just keep his mouth shut.

"Well it's not really a detention if you just spend the whole time shagging." If Hermione was capable of killing with her eyes, I'm sure she would have done it just then. "What? It's true." Ron said in his defense, which obviously didn't ease up Hermione.

"Wait a minute. Who would you be shagging?" Ginny asked, almost laughing.

"Well, Gin.." I tried to think of something to say that would make sense, but Ron didn't give me the chance.

"He's shagging Snape. Has been for a while, didn't he tell you?" He looked quite proud of himself, but I didn't have time to dwell on my anger for him.

"WHAT?" I guess I had a lot to explain to Ginny.

-

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**A/N: I was really tired when proof-reading this, so if there are a lot of errors I missed, I'm sorry. I'll probably go through it again tomorrow, but I wanted to get this posted tonight.**

**I heart reviews!**


	5. Mending Relationships

**Mending Relationships**

"Ginny.." I tried to calm down the furious red head.

"Harry, if your next words aren't 'I'm not having sex with Snape' I don't think I'll be able to handle it." I stayed silent, unsure of what to say. "Oh god, it's true!"

"Well not exactly, were not," I could see the glimmer of hope in her eyes, and I hated having to do this. "Well we did, but I mean were not."

"You're not making much sense." She replied to my terrible excuse of a sentence. "Not that any of this makes sense anyway."

"Maybe we should go somewhere less public." The common room was not the best place for private discussions. We decided to head up into my rooms, best not to be caught after curfew.

"Snape. I can't believe it. Professor Snape." She sounded scandalized, and I briefly wondered if I found the one thing that could get passed Ginny's complete understanding.

"Maybe you should sit down." She did. "I'll tell you everything, but you have to promise me that you won't say anything to anyone."

"You know you can trust me."

So I started at the beginning. I explained about what happened during my temporary break up with Draco, then how I still had feelings for him, but resisted because of Draco, and then finally, what happened this summer at Grimmauld Place.

"Professor Snape loves you?" She asked in disbelief, I only nodded. "Do you love him?"

"NO!" I hated how I answered so hastily. "I don't know. I like him."

"Right. You like Snape, because he loves you, and you've had sex. Twice. God Harry, this is a lot to take in."

"I know, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier but if anyone finds out, he could be in a lot of trouble."

"I don't expect you to tell me everything, in fact, I think I would of preferred not to have this knowledge."

"Sorry."

There was a long moment where we sat in an awkward silence

"The one thing I don't get." I turned towards, happy for any conversation. "Why would you tell Ron?"

I then explained to her how he caught me sleeping there, using the marauder's map. Then how I stupidly filled in the details for him. I could tell she was still freaked out with my new revelation, but she tried not to act as such. We headed back downstairs together, and found Hermione alone.

"Where's my brother?" Ginny asked, and Hermione just gave a little half smile before addressing me.

"It's past curfew. He could be in a lot of trouble if he gets caught."

"That's not my problem." I plopped down next to her as she glared at me. "What?"

"Don't you think it would be nice to go find him?"

"Why should I be nice to him, after what he just did? Just telling my secret to whoever listens, who knows who else he told."

"Oh, you know he's just trying to get to you. He only said it in front of Ginny because he knew she could be trusted."

"You always have an excuse for him, can't you just tell the truth. It's because he's a jerk!"

"Maybe he is a jerk, but so are you Harry Potter. You both are being completely ridiculous. You promised you would try talking to him, and now is the perfect time for that. Stop being so selfish and go find him."

I really didn't see how it's fair that I always had to be the bigger person. None the less, I grabbed my invisibility cloak and went on a search for Ron. Luckily it was only about twenty minutes later when I found him sulking, with a bowl of ice cream, in the kitchens.

I tore off my cloak and sat across from him at the table. He pretended not to notice my presence.

"You know that was messed up." I'm sure I wasn't being as nice as Hermione expected me to be, but right then I didn't care. "I trusted you with something important. Severus could lose his job if that gets out, but you don't even care. No, why would you.."

"Stop." He slammed his bowl on the table and stood up. "Stop calling him that name - It's Snape! Snape, Harry." He sat back down looking defeated. I honestly didn't know how to take his outburst, so I skirted around that issue.

"You know I never wanted to hurt Hermione. It was the only possibility of getting you guys out. I was just trying to keep you guys alive."

"I know."

"Then why all the animosity? God Ron, you've been treating me like I just took a blundger to your owl."

"Why? Let's see. For starters, you asked Malfoy to marry you."

"Actually," he didn't seem pleased that I interrupted but I continued anyway. "He asked me."

He ignored my outburst.

"You have sex with Snape of all people," I tried to defend this claim, but he didn't give me a chance. "Then you become a Death Eater! Yes, I know why, but that's not the point. That wasn't the Harry I became friends with. You changed all of a sudden, shutting me out, and now you're not even the same person. And it's all my fault."

The surrounding house elves looked relieved when silence consumed us both.

"Why would you say it's your fault?"

"You said it. Last year, you said the reason why you started going out with Malfoy was because of me, because of what I did to you."

"Yes, that was the reason, but that had nothing to do with anything else you said." This didn't seem to help raise his spirits. I briefly thought about leaving but the thought of facing Hermione kept me there. "Listen. Being with Draco was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. You might not agree, but trust me, he is an amazing person, and he was the best boyfriend anyone could ask for. I wouldn't take back our time together for anything."

"But.."

"Let me finish. The thing with Se-Snape," I caught myself before he freaked out about that again, "Well, that had nothing to do with you. Besides it's not all that.."

"Please stop. I can accept Malfoy. I mean at least he's good looking, but I can never understand how you could enjoy doing _THAT_ with Snape."

"You think Draco is good looking?" I asked amused. Ron never paid Draco compliments.

"I'm not blind Harry, but that doesn't mean I like him." I just shook my head. "Seriously though, how can you with Snape? You can't possibly think he's good looking."

"He may not be the most gorgeous, but he's attractive in his own right." He held a bewildered look. "Besides, with Snape, it's not about looks, or sex for that matter. It's like we connect on a deeper level."

"Can we just not talk about this?"

"Hey, you're the one complaining I shut you out of my life, I'm just trying to fill you in."

"So you still are, you know?"

"I wish." I couldn't tell if he was more confused or disgusted. "He says its too risky, so we have to be just friends." Given our recent history with secrets involving Severus, I probably should have kept quiet, but for some reason I felt the need to talk to someone about this situation.

"Let me get this straight. Snape turned you down?" I nodded, laughing slightly. "I never thought I would see the day."

Everything went remarkably well after that. We joked and stuffed ourselves with everything the elves offered. It was just like old times. On our way back, we walked quietly underneath my cloak. We almost made it all the way up to Gryffindor tower until the voice of Severus came from behind us.

"Mr. Potter." Ron looked shocked that the man knew we were here, but I was use to it. I pulled of the cloak to get this over with.

"Harry, what are you doing?" Ron yelped at the same time.

"And Mr. Weasley. Should of known you two would be getting into trouble. What, may I ask, could you possibly be doing out this late at night?"

"Sorry Sir," I started but Ron just chuckled, infuriating Severus.

"Oh come on, I'm sure Harry is entitled to some leniency." He nudged my side and I swear I could sense the anger radiating off of my former lover.

"YOU BOTH WILL SERVE DETENTION EVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK," I'm surprised the whole castle didn't wake up, but only the portraits seemed to hear. "WITH FILCH!" That was disappointing. He must have been really furious not to use this opportunity to give us time together.

He walked us back to the portrait hole, without another word. I knew he was angry that I confided our secret with Ron, and I wish I could have explained, but that would only make him angrier. Once we got inside, I stopped as soon as the portrait swung shut.

"Ron."

"You want to go talk to him?" I nodded. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean.."

"It's okay, could you just cover for me. I'm not sure what time I'll get back."

"Sure thing mate." I turned around, hoping to catch the man before he gone too far. I was in luck.

"Professor Snape." He turned looking just as angry as he did two minutes ago. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. "Please you got to let me explain."

"Go back to your dormitory right away."

"No. Not until you listen to me." He groaned but by the look on his face, I could tell I won.

"Put that cloak on, will you? Follow me." I listened. The walk down to the dungeons seemed to take an eternity. When we got to his rooms, I was speechless.

"Well, what do you have to say for yourself?" I couldn't find a decent explanation quick enough for him. "How can you be so selfish? I told you how risky this was, and here you are gossiping with your friends about it. Are you trying to get me fired?"

"No, Ron knew before. He knew last year."

"Is that suppose to make me feel better than you've been telling people for the past year? Tell me Potter, who else have you told."

I stayed silent, not wanting to reveal that I just old Ginny about an two hours ago.

"Tell me. NOW!"

"Ginny and Hermione know." I didn't feel it was necessary to tell him Hermione found out through Ron.

"You are so irresponsible. Get back to your dorm, I can't even look at you right now."

"They won't say anything."

"How do you know that? It only takes one fight with them and they'll be spilling all your secrets."

"Ron knew all this time we've been fighting and he didn't say anything. He could of, but he didn't." He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "I trust them Sev. They wouldn't do anything to hurt me or anyone I care about, no matter how mad they are."

"Just go Potter."

"Harry."

"Fine, Harry, Just go. I need to think."

"I'm not going anywhere." He looked like he was going to scold me, but sighed in defeat instead. "Not until you give me a kiss."

"I thought we talked about this already." I moved closer to him.

"To hell with it. I want you Sev. I need you."

"That won't hold up in court I'm afraid. I can see the headlines now. Death Eater teacher seduces The Chosen One."

"I wouldn't let that happen. We won't get caught. I promise. Even if we did, I would just lie. They would believe me. I am the Chosen One after all."

"Why you little.."

"Minx? Sex kitten?"

"More like scamp." I closed the distance between us.

"There's no reason for us to pretend we don't want to be together." He backed up just an inch, but I didn't waiver.

"I can think.."

"Oh just shut up and kiss me already." And so he did. Again and again. We soon took it to the next level making love on his bed once again. Neither of us bothering with the consequences of me falling asleep there. We could deal with that in the morning.

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**A/N: I think this is the most dialogue I put in one chapter. Things are moving along nicely with this story, I wish I had the time to write non stop..lol Well I hope you all enjoyed and remember to REVIEW! :-)**


	6. Secret Boyfriend

**Secret Boyfriend**

I was well aware that I fell asleep wrapped in Severus' arms, so when I woke up to find the bed empty, I was disappointed. I looked at the clock on the wall and noticed it was only a few minutes shy of four. I got out of bed to find him. He wasn't in the bathroom, so I made my way out into the sitting room, wearing only my boxers. Sure enough, he was there.

"Sev, what are you doing?" I walked closer to realize he had his face in his hands, almost as if he was crying, but I knew better. Then I noticed the glass in front of him, and the strong smell of liquor radiating off of him. "Are you drinking?" He looked up at me with wide eyes.

"What am I doing Harry?" He slurred out. I've seen Severus drunk before, but he could always speak clearly, so I was a little worried.

"You're drunk! God, you have classes in just a few hours!"

"Doesn't matter. I'm going to get fired anyway."

"You are not going to get fired. I promise, no one will find out." I moved another chair closer to him so I could sit and wrap my arm around him.

"I deserve to be fired. What I'm doing with you, it's wrong. You're a child. A student. My student."

"I am not a child. You are doing nothing wrong. I'm of legal age." I grabbed his hand off the table, intertwining our fingers and he stared at them in a daze.

"You weren't last year. I didn't even care. I'm sick." He tried to remove his hand from mine, but I refused to let go.

"You are not sick. You and I both know I was forced to grow up a lot quicker than most. There are different circumstances. You can't help who you fall in love with."

What happened next I was not ready for. Severus fell into my chest and began to cry. I never in my life thought I would witness it, but right here, before my very eyes, was Severus Snape crying.

I was at a loss for words, so I settled on holding him. After a few minutes, the sobs stopped, but he didn't let go. I figured I better get him back to bed and sleep it off.

"Come on, let's get you to sleep so you can get through the day." He didn't answer me, but didn't fight me when I pulled him up. I got him under the covers with ease and slipped in next to him. I laid on my side facing him. He reached out his arm, and I laced our fingers together once again. I placed a chaste kiss on his lips an he responded with an I love you, which I didn't return.

I stayed awake, resisting the temptation to give into sleep. I wanted to watch over him and make sure he was okay. When he finally came to, it was almost eight o'clock.

"Good Morning." He closed his eyes once again and sighed.

"Harry, you shouldn't be here. You have to go to breakfast."

"I know, I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"Why wouldn't I be?" I couldn't tell if he was serious or not. I mean, he was very intoxicated, so there is a chance that he honestly doesn't remember crying against my chest just a few hours before. Either way, those feelings had to come from somewhere, and I thought it would be best to talk about them.

"I don't want you to feel guilty about our relationship."

"We don't have a relationship."

"Really? What would you call it then?" He scowled at me and I just rolled my eyes. "Fine. Call it whatever you want, just don't feel guilty about it."

"What would give you the idea that I'm feeling guilty?"

"Sev. Just don't."

"Don't what? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't hide your feelings from me. I know you feel guilty about us because of my age and you being my Professor, but don't. I want to be with you, and you are in no way taking advantage of me, so stop worrying and just let yourself be happy."

There was a long silence, which lead me to believe he heard what I was saying. If he didn't agree, he would probably be yelling at me by now.

"You better get to breakfast, I'm sure you can think of a good story on why you weren't in your room last night? Surely they would believe something along the lines of you getting into trouble?" If he was joking already, he definitely wasn't mad. Granted, he probably was still a little drunk, but I'm still counting it as a win.

"Don't worry. Ron was covering for me. See, there are some good things that come from my friends knowing."

"Yeah, but I'm afraid there are far more horrible things that can occur from it." I just smiled and leaned forward to give him a kiss. The odor of whiskey still lingered.

"Maybe you should brush your teeth." He looked mildly embarrassed for only a second.

"Just leave already."

"I'm going. See you tonight?"

"I don't think so." His lips curved slightly into a small smile. "In case you've forgotten already? You and Mr. Weasley have detention."

"You can't possibly still expect us to go."

"I don't back out of my punishments Mr. Potter. Now don't you have somewhere to be?" My mouth was open wide in astonishment but I turned and left anyway. Ron was not going to be happy when I told him.

I arrived to breakfast about halfway through. Ron motioned for me to sit next to him, which I did. Hermione sat across from us with a huge smile on her face.

"So Harry, are you going to tell us who your new boyfriend is?" Seamus said from a couple seats down, allowing everyone in between to hear. Ron shrugged and lean in to whisper in my ear.

"When they asked where you were, I said you were with your secret new boyfriend, but I didn't tell them who, I swear."

"When I said cover for me, I meant lie."

"Sorry." I turned to Seamus and just winked without saying a word, hopefully getting the idea I wasn't going to tell him.

"We'll figure it out eventually Harry." He laughed along with Dean and Neville. It was the first time in a long time they were joking around and being friendly with me, and I couldn't bring myself to be angry at Ron for his lame excuse for a cover, I was actually glad.

That was until Transfiguration class. Ron and Hermione were sitting together, which left me all alone. It wasn't being alone that bothered me, but that Blaise Zabini decided to sit with me. All of my roommates clearly took this as a sign that he was my "secret boyfriend."

I also wasn't too fond of him sitting with me because of what he did to Draco last year. Granted, Draco did start the fight, but I still felt awkward about, apparently Blaise didn't feel the same.

"So how have you been Harry? It's been a long time since we've had a chance to talk, with everything that's happened."

"Yeah," was the only response I could get out that wasn't completely rude.

"Listen, I'm sorry about Draco, I really am. I mean, we use to be best friends, and now I don't even have the chance to apologize to him. It's just well, I miss him, and I thought maybe I could at least try and make things right with you."

"Who said I was angry with you?" I answered. He gave me a look and I knew he wasn't buying it. "Okay, so I am angry with you, but what do you expect? You practically mutilated my boyfriend over me."

"I know, and I'm sorry, but it wasn't as if I started it, you know. I was only defending myself. Besides all I did was find you attractive, I'd be dumb if I didn't."

I knew he was hitting on me, and I probably should get up and walk away from him, but instead I allowed the blush to creep up my cheek. He leaned closer and placed his hand on top of mine and whispered into my ear.

"I know you aren't interested in me that way, but I thought maybe we could be friends." I looked up and noticed Seamus staring at us with a big smile on his face and I pulled my hand away from Blaise, which only made him shoot me a knowing smirk.

"You have enough friends, why do you feel such a sudden interest in being my friend?"

"What friends? Theo has a new girlfriend who he spends all his time with, and Crabbe and Goyle won't even speak to me because of what I did to Draco."

I suddenly felt guilty once again for my lack of loyalty to Draco. Here Crabbe and Goyle can ignore Zabini but I'm here actually considering giving him my friendship.

"I thought you would understand, considering what your friends put you through all last year." That was it. He was right. How am I to turn him away for a mistake he made when I did the same by talking to Lucius Malfoy.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"So friends then?" I nodded and he smiled. "Good. Do you want to hang out tonight?"

"I would, but I have a detention with Filch for breaking curfew." Ron turned around mouth agape. I almost laughed because I forgot to tell him that our detentions were real, but then realized he was eavesdropping on our entire conversation. I didn't mind Ron listening, but I was just curious to who else was and what they made of it.

Our conversation, along with my thoughts, got cut short when Professor McGonagall walked into the room. When class ended, Blaise insisted on walking me to lunch, further rising my dorm mate's suspicions.

"Harry." I turned from my seat to see the smiling face of Dumbledore.

"Good afternoon Professor."

"I was hoping you could join me in my office after you're finished eating, there is something I wish to speak to you about."

"Of course." I replied before he slipped out of the Great Hall.

I tried to replay everything that has happened to me within the last week and wondered what he wanted to talk to me about.

"Probably You-Know-Who," Ron suggested and I agreed, but Hermione's face said that she didn't.

"What?"

"Well, maybe it's about Professor Snape."

"Hermione! Could you be any louder?" She leaned forward, so no one could hear but us.

"Well you didn't come back to your room last night."

"Yeah but I use to spend nights with Draco all the time and he never said anything before."

"Yeah, but Malfoy was another student, he may have just overlooked that."

I couldn't help but think she was right on my walk to Dumbledore's office, and it made me really nervous. Apparently, with good reason.

"Harry, you do know there isn't much that goes on in this castle that I'm not aware of." He said while offering me a seat, I nodded dumbly.

"Do you care to tell me where you spent the night?" I honestly thought I might start hyperventilating.

"What do you mean Sir?" I figured the best course of action would be to stall him.

"I'm only curious Harry, you're not in trouble."

_Think. Think. Think.  
_  
"Well, um, I was with a friend of mine, who was kind of upset, and well, I, um was helping."

"I'm glad you were helping you're friend Harry, but try not to do it so late next time. You may leave." I had a sneaking suspicion that he didn't believe me, but I didn't miss the opportunity to escape.

The rest of the day went well, even my detention with Filch. He made Ron and I clean the third floor corridor which looked like it hadn't been used in years, but we were together so it wasn't bad. I told him about my night with Severus, and after informing me of how gross I am, he couldn't believe that Professor Snape feels upset because of his feelings for me.

I didn't mention the fact that he was crying, because I thought it was too private even if he was drunk. By the time detention was over, I decided to grab my cloak and go see my secret boyfriend (I decided to stick with the nickname).

I knocked lightly, and slipped in before removing my cloak.

"God that detention was awful." I lied in hope he would call off the other four he assigned.

"Harry you have to go back to your dorm right away."

"Not this again."

"I'm serious. Albus knows you were here last night." My conversation with the headmaster suddenly came back into my mind.

"He told you that?"

"He didn't have to. He kept asking me what I was doing last night, which is not like him. He knows. The man knows everything, we were stupid to think he wouldn't find out."

"Maybe not. Maybe he just smelled the alcohol on your breath." I tried to offer another explanation but knew it was pointless. Dumbledore knows.

"You should go now. Don't come back."

"Don't come back? So that's it, we're over, just like that?"

"It should have never began."

"Sev, I can't. I can't just go back." I was suddenly aware that I was crying and I noticed Severus' features soften. I felt the same way I did when Draco broke up with me and again the same instincts kicked in. I embraced him tightly and didn't let go. "Don't leave me. Please. I love you."

I almost got whiplash from him pulling me off of him and holding me out at arms length.

"What did you say?" He looked angry and I couldn't understand why.

"I love you."

"Do you mean that?" I could only nod before he pulled me into a fierce kiss, which lead us to his bedroom where we spent the night, once again.

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**It would be super awesome if you reviewed. :-)**


	7. The Love Of My Life

**The Love Of My Life**

"Spend the night with Blaise?" That's how I was greeted by Seamus when I returned to my dorm before breakfast. I decided it would be best not to squash their presumptions. I just smiled and went about my day.

I took my time getting ready, and when I finally finished, my room was empty besides Ron.

"So I guess he decided it's worth the risk?" He sounded a mix between angry and upset and I wasn't sure what to make of it. "Two nights in a row, I mean, it doesn't seem like you guys are being too careful."

"Well things are different now."

"How so?" I debated with myself on how much I should tell him, and decided it would be best to be honest. Ron has more than earned my trust.

"I told him I loved him."

"You love him?" He said in shock while backing up from me as if I had a contagious disease.

"Ron, I thought you were okay with this, or well at least tolerating it."

"I am, I'm trying, but I can't believe you love Snape. How did that even happen?"

"I don't know exactly, I just love him.

"Like you use to love me?" His words echoed in my head. Ron couldn't possibly still have feelings for me after everything that has happened.

"I do love you Ron, as my best mate. That will never change."

"You use to love me as more than that. I know I messed up, you don't have to tell me again," He spoke up before I had a chance to respond. "But you can forgive Malfoy for everything he did for years, and now Snape, but you can't forgive me."

"I have forgiven you!"

"No you haven't, because if you did, you'd love me."

"Listen Ron, it's not like that. I forgave you while I was with Draco, I loved him. I love him." I corrected myself. "What I'm trying to say is Draco was the love of my life. I wouldn't have given him up for anything, and besides, we're better off as friends."

"What are you going to do if he wakes up?"

"What?"

"Malfoy. What will you tell Professor Snape?"

"He'll never wake up." That was the first time I really uttered those words even if I've thought them for quite some time now. "Can we just go to breakfast?"

Ron nodded and I was grateful to end this awkward conversation. We both decided to completely ignore the whole thing throughout the day. Of course, Hermione was with us, so I was a little worried as we walked into Filch's office for our second detention, where we would finally be alone.

"What are you two doing here?" He spat maliciously from behind his desk.

"Um, were here for our detention."

"Professor Snape said he needed some students to help him clean out his lab. Said it would take all week." The caretaker smiled his crooked smile. "Hope it does, you two miscreants deserve the worse you can get." We both rolled our eyes as we left the office.

Filch seemed pleased with the fact that we would be forced to clean the potions lab, but I had a feeling that wasn't the case. We made our way down to the dungeons to find Snape sitting in his office.

"Mr. Potter. Mr. Weasley. I take it you two have some homework to do, it would be best to make good use of this time. You may leave in two hours."

"I thought we were cleaning the potions lab." Ron said dumbly but I couldn't help but smile.

"If you're so eager to clean it, be my guest." Ron didn't say anything to Snape for the next two hours. We did our homework practically silent. Two hours later Ron stood up.

"I guess we can go."

"Um, do you mind if I say goodbye?" He looked at me gloomily.

"No, go ahead."

"Sev." He looked up from his paper work, then looked over at Ron who had his back towards us. "We're going to go."

He chanced another glance at Ron before standing up and giving me a kiss.

"I wish I could stay."

"Two nights was already too much."

"I know. I can't wait till winter break. Two weeks with no one to bother us." I wrapped my arms around the taller mans neck. He glanced over my shoulder, presumably looking for Ron, before wrapping his arms around my waist and letting his head fall on my shoulder.

"Except for Lupin." He whispered into my ear. He lifted his head up and leaned forward to give me another kiss, but then turned towards Ron. I followed his gaze and noticed Ron watching us. I couldn't help myself but to bring my lips to Sev's. He didn't respond to it, but the look on his face was worth it.

"I guess we'll see you tomorrow for our next detention."

"Indeed." He scowled in my direction but I couldn't help smiling.

"Don't worry about Remus yet, I'm sure we can work something out." I walked out of the office practically laughing.

"That was weird." Ron said not looking me in the eye.

"Sorry. I wasn't trying to bother you, I just know it would drive him crazy if I kissed him why you were watching, I couldn't resist."

"I wasn't talking about that. Well not really." I stared at him questionably. "It's just weird to see Snape being affectionate towards anyone."

"Oh, I guess I've just gotten use to it, but I see your point."

Ron hadn't said anything against my relationship since that night. We spent the next three nights in Severus' office doing homework for our detentions. I didn't get to spend any alone time with him, but I was happy I got to see him.

Because of Dumbledore's suspicions, we only met once a week privately. Every Friday night after midnight, I would head down in my invisibility cloak and stay until 3:00am. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep, but it was worth it. Most nights I wish I could have stayed the night, but we didn't want to take the risk.

We still saw each other during the week, but always before curfew and inside his office. That way it wouldn't look like we were doing anything wrong. We couldn't be intimate, but it gave us plenty of time to talk.

He really began to open up to me. He told me all about his childhood, which wasn't far off from my own. It really helped explain why he was so closed off most of his adult life. It felt amazing that he could finally trust me with things so personal, it really brought us closer together.

Blaise Zabini seemed to take every opportunity to hang out with me, so the rumor that we were secretly dating spread fast.

"I heard the strangest thing today." Blaise approached the subject to me. "Apparently, we've been secretly dating for two months."

"Is that right?" I didn't sound surprised, since I sort of encouraged the rumor to keep things away from me and Severus.

"You knew?" I nodded. There wasn't any point to lie.

"You don't mind?"

"People are always starting rumors about me. It's nothing new really." Then he kissed me on the lips, in front of a few stray students, that completely caught me off guard. "Um, what was that?"

"Oh, well, sorry. I just thought that, I'm really sorry."

"It's okay, I guess, but I've told you before, I'm not interested in anything more than you're friendship."

"I know. I don't want came over me. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, just don't let it happen again."

As awkward as that short innocent kiss with Blaise was, it didn't bother me. I had no feelings for Blaise whatsoever. Besides, the few students who saw would be sure to spread it around.

Everyone believe it, just like I thought they would. The problem was, it wasn't just the students.

"Two more weeks till the holidays." I said as I got into Severus' room on one of our Friday nights. "I can't wait till we can stop sneaking around."

"Yeah, I guess if your other boyfriend isn't around, it shouldn't be too difficult."

"What are you talking about?"

"I would appreciate if you would tell me if you're seeing someone else. It's only fair to know who I'm getting in bed with."

"What are you talking about?"

"Unfortunately for me, I do hear about all you and your classmates social lives."

"Wait a minute," I couldn't help but snicker a little. "Are you jealous?"

"Certainly not!" He looked offended by the notion. "I was just under the impression that we were exclusive, clearly I was wrong."

"Of course we are exclusive. I don't want anyone else. Do you?"

"What about Mr. Zabini?" I started to laugh.

"Nothing is going on between us. I sort of let that rumor get out of hand on purpose so my roommates would stop trying to find out who I was spending my time with."

"So you weren't making out in the hallways then? I do remember how much you enjoyed that." I couldn't help but smile at all the memories of him catching Draco and I together.

"Making out? I don't think so but he did sort of kiss me."

"Hmm."

"I didn't kiss him back, I promise."

"It doesn't matter to me who you do or do not kiss."

"Well it should! God, why do you do that? I love you Sev, there's no one else for me." I walked closer to him and wrapped my arms around him. "Only you. So stop being a git and take me to the bedroom before our time together is over."

"I love you Harry."

"I love you too." He picked me up and carried me onto the bed he laid above me and began to kiss me as we both stripped each other down to nothing. This were how our Friday nights always started. Then after the tension became too much he would grab the bottle a lube and hand it to me.

Tonight wasn't different until that point. As soon as the bottle was in my hands I handed it back to him. I wanted to show him how much I loved him, how much I trusted him.

"Harry.." I shut him up with a fierce kiss before opening my legs to give him room to work.

From what I could remember from my brief time with Ron, Severus was much gentler. The uncomfortable feeling was still the same, but he was slow and patient with me.

When he finished preparing me, I braced myself for the inevitable pain which was about to come. He slipped inside me inch by inch, giving me time to get use to my muscles loosening. Once he was in deep, he leaned down to give me another kiss.

The slow thrusts were gradually building up my climax. As he picked up the pace, he began to stroke me. By now I could tell when he was about to come, and knew it was soon. His hand became blur on my leaking cock. One more deep thrust and we were both coming.

Our sweaty bodies collapsed against each other. As our panting slowed down he pulled himself out of me, leaving me with a feeling of emptiness. We relaxed in each other's arms for over an hour.

"I have to go." I whisper quietly. I hated leaving on these nights but it wasn't worth getting Severus into trouble.

"No, stay." He held onto me tightly. "It will be okay, just for tonight." I didn't protest. I gave into slumber happily in my lover's arms.

--

It only seemed like moments later I was being awoken by a loud ringing.

"What's that?" I asked Sev who look terrified.

"It's Albus coming through my wards." I jumped out of the bed, looking for somewhere I could hide.

"There's no point. He knows you're here. He wouldn't break through my wards in the middle of the night for nothing." Then the headmaster came through the bedroom. I was standing by the bed in shock wearing nothing but my boxers and Severus was under the covers. It wasn't a position I wanted him to find us in.

"Get dressed now. Meet me in the sitting room." His voice wasn't angry, but stern, which only made me nervous. We got dressed and walked out to where Dumbledore was standing.

"Albus, let me explain."

"I'm disappointed in your Severus." I could tell those words hurt him very much and I wish I could comfort him, but now was not the time. "I have treated you as the son I never had, and you keep something like this from me. In fact you lied right to my face."

"Professor Dumbledore." He turned to face me and I suddenly felt very ashamed as I'm sure Severus did. "I was the one who started this. Not Sev, Professor Snape."

"I do not think you are innocent in this matter Harry, but Severus is the adult here."

"I'm an adult too!" I hated when people acted otherwise, especially in this situation. It made Severus' out to be a pedophile or something.

"Yes, I'm sorry for my choice of words. I didn't mean to imply that you were a child. You're just younger than Severus."

"Albus."

"Severus, we'll have plenty of time for me to hear your side of this, but that is not why I came here tonight."

This confused us both. Why else would he storm in here in the middle of the night. My only thoughts were on Voldemort. Someone must have gotten hurt, or worse. Then he turned to face me.

"It's Draco." My heart skipped a beat. "He's awake."

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**A/N: I know many of you were anticipating this moment..lol Plenty of Draco next chapter. I promise to update asap...don't worry. Bombard me with reviews and I might work even quicker...lol  
**


	8. Awake

**Awake**

I was walking down the corridor at St. Mungos that lead to Draco's room, Dumbledore leading the way. The closer I got, the more I felt as if I was going to throw up. I know I should be happy Draco was awake, finally, this was what I wanted. But that wasn't the case.

It's not that I was unhappy, because I was relieved to hear Draco was okay, but I wasn't ready to see him. I wasn't ready to explain my relationship with Severus. After all, he knew about what happened last year, which I'm sure he would be angry about. I couldn't even begin to answer his questions.

When we were in front of the door, Dumbledore took a seat in his conjured up chair, without saying a word. He hadn't mentioned anything about finding me in Severus' room, but that time would come too, which I wasn't looking forward to.

I opened the door slowly. There wasn't any noise coming from inside the room and I could only hope that was because Draco was sleeping, but I was wrong.

"Harry! I'm so glad you're here. I was afraid they wouldn't let you leave school. They tell me I've been out for six months. Can you believe that?" He rambled on, with no response from me. I had none. He was acting as if it was any other day. "Man, I can't believe I missed half a school year. I hope I don't have to repeat, cause I won't. Being stuck with those below me. I couldn't.."

Then I started to cry, successfully stopping him from babbling.

"Harry, what's wrong?" I could tell he tried to get up to come to my side, but ached in pain as he lifted his chest about an inch off the bed. I rushed to him, putting a hand on his shoulder to keep him grounded.

"Don't. You'll hurt yourself." Silent tears continued down my face. "They told me you were never going to wake up. Everyone told me, I didn't think."

"But I'm here. You don't have to worry. I'm not going anywhere." I collapsed into the chair beside his bed and let my forehead fall onto his arm.

"What did Voldemort do to you?" I mumbled into his arm, afraid I would start crying again if I looked him in the eye.

"I was hoping you could shed some light on that. The last thing I remember is going to bed with you."

"You don't remember anything?" He shook his head, and I felt relieved. He didn't remember me telling him that I slept with Severus. Of course that would only make it that much harder telling him what I've been up to while he was here. That would have to wait till he was better. I couldn't tell him while he is still at the hospital. "It was terrible. The worse night of my life."

"I asked Healer Harding, and she refused to answer any of my questions."

"She doesn't know the answers."

"But I take it you do?"

"Some of them." I took a deep breath before looking him in the eye again. "He captured Ron and Hermione." The look of worry on his face didn't surprise me. It was a miracle we all made it out safely. "They're okay." I reassured him. "They also captured Tonks, but she's okay too."

"How did they get out?"

"My watch."

"How did you get out then?" I don't know why I felt guilty admitting Severus saved me, but just thinking about it made me feel as if I was betraying him.

"Snape." He didn't seem angry, which wasn't a real shock, why would he be? He didn't know what has been going on. "He couldn't save us both."

"I'm glad he saved you Harry. Don't feel bad." I did nonetheless. "But what happened? Why did we need rescuing."

So I began to explain the entire story to him, only leaving out the parts where I admitting my time with Sev. He nodded and listened intently.

"What did my father do with Granger?" I sighed, not really knowing how he would react to how his father raped Hermione, but I knew I had to tell him the truth.

"He raped her Draco." He cringed at the word raped.

"I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault. Besides she's dealing with it. She's okay."

"My father, how could he do that? I can't believe..why?" I put my hand on his arm, which he quickly moved to grasp my hand in his. It felt familiar, but uncomfortable. I glanced at the door as if Severus was going to come storming in, but I knew that was ridiculous. "I'm glad you're here."

Then the door did open, but it wasn't Severus, it was Dumbledore.

"I don't mean to intrude, but I do have some things I wish to talk to Mr. Malfoy about." I went to stand up, but Draco's grip on my hand tighten, so I stayed where I was. "Now, I know you have some rehabilitation to do before you leave the hospital, but I assume you don't wish to go home."

"No! I'm going wherever Harry goes." The headmaster smiled, but then looked at me and it faded. For a second, I thought he might tell Draco where he caught me sleeping just an hour ago.

"Very well. We can arrange for you to spend the Christmas holidays at headquarters, until school starts up again."

"Sir? Will I have to repeat seventh year?"

"No. I'll have your teachers send you some work to start on while you're here and during the holidays. Then we can set up some extra tutor sessions to help you get caught up and ready to take your NEWTS in time."

"Thanks."

"Now Harry, you are welcomed to spend your day here. Remus will be coming to keep an eye out for you two and then will take you back to Hogwarts."And then the headmaster was gone.

"So, what have you been up to the past six months?" This was going to be a long day.

Obviously I wasn't going to tell Draco everything I was up to, I decided to focus mainly on my fight and reconciliation with Ron. He couldn't move much, so our physical contact was limited, but I knew that wouldn't last.

"Do I get a goodbye kiss?"He asked as Remus came in to collect me. I leaned forward to press my lips to his. The familiar sensations and feelings were flowing back to me as he massaged his tongue. As we pulled apart I let my hand cup his cheek.

"God I missed that." He smirked at me before putting his hand on mine.

"You'll never go without it again, I promise. I love you."

"I love you too." I leaned forward to give him one more quick kiss before exiting the room with Remus.

I felt a million emotions rushing through me on the way back to school. Relief that Draco was finally awake. Love and desire for my former fiancée. Confusion because he probably still thought he was my finance Grief for falling in love with Severus while technically I was engaged to be married.

Most of all I was worried. No matter what I did, someone was going to be hurt. I've gotten so use to the idea that Draco was out of my life. I was in a serious relationship with Severus, whom I loved very much.

But now that Draco was awake, I couldn't just forget our time together. I loved him so much, and those feelings won't disappear.

"Don't worry Harry. Dumbledore told me Draco will be spending the holidays with us, you'll see him soon enough." I just stared at him with no expression. "Unless that's not what's got you so upset?"

"Rem, you really don't want to know what I'm thinking about, so don't ask."

"So this is about Severus?" I slowly nodded my head. No point keeping it a secret when Dumbledore already knows. "You two decided to get together then, since school?"

"I know you don't approve..."

"I'm not going to give you a hard time. As uncomfortable as I feel about it, it is your life."

"Thanks."

"You know I'm always here if you want to talk about it."

"Right now I just need time to think." He put his arm around me without asking any more questions. We parted as we got to entrance hall.

I walked by myself to Gryffindor tower. It was just before curfew, so the hallways were mostly empty, but it was a different story for the common room. I wanted to sneak away and get into bed, but my friends would never allow that.

"Harry! Where have you been all day?" Ginny, Hermione, and Ron were all sitting in a corner together.

"Is everything okay? We were so worried." I know I looked as if my puppy just got ran over, even when I tried to force a smile.

"Everything's fine. Draco's awake." Ginny was the first on her feet.

"That's great! I knew he would wake up, I told you. When will he be back?" I just sighed trying to ignore her questions.

"Harry?" Hermione timidly spoke up. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, just tired. I'm going to head to bed early. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

I made my way upstairs and plopped down on my bed, allowing my thoughts to consume me.

"Harry?" Ron's voice called out to me, but I tried my best to ignore him. "You can talk to me Harry. I know things haven't been the best between us the past year, but I'll.."

"I don't know what I'm going to do Ron." I didn't bother trying to pretend nothing was wrong with me because I needed to talk to someone. Ron has always been, or at least tried to be, understanding about my relationship with Severus. "I love Draco, I do, but I been with Severus for the better part of the past five months. I can't just throw that away, can I?"

"Who do you love more?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I mean, you and Malfoy were suppose to get married, right?" I nodded, wondering where he was going with this. "Do you want to spend the rest of your life being a Malfoy or a Snape?"

"I can't answer that. I think me and Draco moved too fast with the engagement. I don't even want to think about marriage. Not yet."

"Maybe you should just be single for a while why you think about it."

"And what would I tell them?" He shrugged.

"How about the truth?" I groaned. The truth was what I was trying to avoid. I can only imagine the look on Draco's face when I told him I not only have been sleeping with our Potions Professor, but that I also fell in love with him and can't decide who I want to be with. He would hit me for sure, and I wouldn't blame him.

"Can't I just hide in my room forever?"

"I don't think that will work. But Malfoy won't be back right away, right?" I nodded, dreading the holidays I was waiting for just 24 hours ago. "Why don't you just try and talk to Snape about it now then?"

I figured that would be the best course of action. When we first started dating, he knew I loved Draco and accepted it. The next day when I went to find him though, I couldn't. He never even showed up to meals.

The the next day after Potions, he exited the class before I had a chance to speak to him. I tried knocking on his door after curfew, and still nothing.

It was official. Severus was avoiding me.

-

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	9. The Truth Comes Out

**The Truth Comes Out**

"You wanted to see me Professor?" I asked as I sat down in the chair across from the headmaster's desk.

"Yes. I know you have a lot going to right now, but it is important that we have a chat." He began to pour two cups of tea, handing me one. "About Severus."

I knew this moment was going to come. When I received the note from him asking me to meet him tonight, I knew why, but hearing the words come out of his mouth made my mouth go dry.

"I don't want any explanation or any details on your relationship. Hogwarts has rules banning student-teacher relationships for very good reasons. We like our professors to have authority and leadership amongst the students, but when it comes to relationships, those kind of positions are not essential."

He took a sip of his tea and conjured a plate of biscuits, gesturing for me to grab one, but I didn't.

"Normally I would report this matter to the ministry right away, but I simple can't this time." Relief flushed through me. At least Severus wouldn't go to Azkaban for this. "But I cannot condone this sort of behavior at my school. I am going to tell you this once. If you break any of these rules I set for you, drastic measures will be taken. Do I have your word you will follow these rules completely?"

He stared at me, waiting for some acknowledgement that I understood him. I'm sure the rules were not going to be pleasant, but I didn't really have a choice in the matter, so I nodded.

"You are not to be in Severus' rooms at any time, without my permission. I can't stop you from visiting him, but it is only to be done in his office or classroom before curfew. There will be absolutely no sexual relationships_ in this castle_ at any time."

I noticed how he put the emphasis on 'in this castle' and suddenly realized he didn't care one bit if I was with Severus, only that he couldn't get in trouble because of it. After getting the awkward moment of Dumbledore talking about sex out of the way, I replied.

"Of course sir, you don't have to worry." The old man turned to face me, looking torn.

"Graduation is only six months away Harry."

"Severus won't even speak to me since the other night."

"Give him time." I really didn't understand why he was acting as if he wanted us to be together after he just forced these rules upon us to keep us apart. But before I had the chance to ask him, there was a knock at the door. Severus.

"Good evening Albus," he said before noticing I was feet away from him. "Oh, is this a bad time, I could come back later?"

"No. We were just discussing you actually, this is a perfect time."

"This looks like a bad time, I'll stop by later." And like that, he was out of the room.

"Harry, I do have some things to attend to, why don't you head back to your common room." I knew he was giving me time to catch up to Severus, but when I realized it was only forty minutes until curfew, I didn't bother. We had a lot to talk about, and forty minutes just wouldn't cover it.

–

The rest of the build up to the holidays wasn't very different. Hermione and Ginny started hanging out pretty much nonstop. They were always whispering and giggling like the other girls I noticed in the common room. It was weird coming from them two, but I guess all girls can be like that sometimes.

Ron took every opportunity to tell them that they were annoying us, but they just shot him dirty looks before continuing right on what they were doing. I spent most of my time with Ron, trying to do anything that would keep my mind off Draco, Severus, and my holiday which would be spent in the same house as both of them.

But the day came when I was standing at Hogsmeade station, gathering my things, and getting on the Hogwarts Express. Saying I was terrified would be putting it lightly. I had no idea what I was going to say to either of them anymore.

Draco was my biggest worry. He would take it much harder. Probably a lot of anger. Severus on the other hand, would play it cool. He'd act like it didn't bother him, but on the inside he would be hurting, or at least I would hope he would.

That idea is even scarier. What if neither of them cared? What if they both decided they didn't want to be with me and found someone new, or each other? No. I had to get those thoughts out of my head if I was going to make it through this.

–

When I arrived to London, Remus was waiting for me at the train station. We apparated back safely. No one was at the house yet when I arrived, so I packed my things and went to the kitchen to have dinner. Mid-way through, Dumbledore and Severus arrived.

"Just in time for dinner." Remus greeted them, but I stayed silent.

"None for me." Dumbledore said smiling, "I have other things I have to do tonight, but I will see you all later on." Severus sat down and began to eat from the plate Remus fixed for him, without looking at me. I figured I would talk to him right after dinner.

When he left the table, also silently, I got up to follow, ignoring the look I was getting from Remus to stay put.

"Sev." He didn't turn around, and kept going up the stairs, but I wasn't going to let him get away that easily. "Will you just talk to me already?" He turned to face me scowling.

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Is that right? Well I have something to say to you." He rolled his eyes, in an attempt to piss me off, and it was working. I loved this man, and I knew he loved me, and it was infuriating to have to go through this.

"Please don't make this harder for me than it already is." I pleaded with him.

"I'm staying out of your life, so you won't have to feel guilty of telling me to do so yourself."

"Why would I want you to stay out of my life? I love you, Sev."

"Even so, I don't plan on being a part of you and your future with Draco." I looked at him with sad eyes. All this time I been contemplating who I would rather be with, and it seems Severus was making up my mind for me. As much as he tried to hide the fact that me being with Draco didn't bother him, I knew he was hurting on the inside.

"Sev, it's not.."

"Harry I was well aware when we first started doing what it is that we did," I hated how he could never refer to himself as my boyfriend or that we were in a relationship, but I didn't say anything. "That you were in love with Draco. I knew if he were to come back in the picture, it would be the end of it. I'm just trying to make it easy on you."

"You think any of this is easy for me? Sev, when we talked about Draco, things were different. It was a long time ago, and well, things are just different now."

"You still are in love with Draco?" I nodded, not wanting to speak the words aloud. "Then there is no difference."

"But I love you too!"

"Well, I don't fancy sharing, and I'm sure Draco would agree with me." Just before I managed to get anymore words out, I could hear the door opening downstairs. Dumbledore's voice could be heard. He was with Draco. As I tried to listen to what they were saying, Severus turned away and locked himself in his room.

As soon as I reached the bottom of the stairs, I caught a glimpse of Draco. He was so gorgeous. Severus' idea didn't seem to crazy in that moment. I could pick up my life right where I left it six and half months ago, like nothing ever changed.

But that only lasted a second. I couldn't just forget everything that happened. I couldn't forget that I was in love with two men at the same time. I could never forget Severus.

"Harry!" He rushed towards me wrapping himself around me, and I did the same in return. "Two weeks is too long to be away from you." I couldn't help but laugh at his comment.

"Two weeks is nothing." He almost looked offended for a minute before pressing his lips to mine.

"Sorry, it just doesn't feel like I've been gone that long." I reached out to his face, pushing his hair behind his ears. "I don't think I would have been able to hold on. You're stronger than you realize Harry." At a loss of anything to say, I kissed him once again.

I tried to delay heading up to our bedroom by asking Remus a multitude of pointless questions. Draco, obviously bored, kept voicing how tired he was. I ignored his desire to head upstairs, but when Remus finally decided he was ready for bed, I had no choice. I wasn't ready to be alone with Draco yet.

As soon as the door to our room was closed, he jumped me. I kissed him feverishly before pushing him away.

"I'm tired."

"You're tired?" He raised an eyebrow at me. It wasn't like me to choose sleep over sex, and I only hoped I could get away with it.

"I had a long day." I went to my trunk and pulled out a pair of pajamas, but Draco didn't move. He just stared at me dumbfounded.

"I've been away for over six months and you want to go to sleep." I shrugged as I began to get dressed. "You're joking right?"

"I'm just tired. Am I allowed to go one night without having sex without facing an inquisition?"

"Does this have anything to do with Blaise?" He stood, arms crossed, staring at my stunned face.

"What do you know about it?" The way I said it, made me sound guilty, and I could tell he was angry, but I quickly recovered. "I didn't mean, nothing is going on between us."

"Really?" He said sarcastically.

"It's just a rumor. We've sort of been friends, but that's all. I promise." I went up to him and grabbed his hands in mine. "I would never ever be interested in Blaise, you should know that. I'm just really tired, so can we please go to bed?"

That seemed to work wonders. He began to get dressed and joined me in the bed, where we fell asleep in each other's arms.

–

Severus was sitting in his room thinking about going to talk to Harry. He wanted to tell him he made a mistake. He did love him, and he would share with Draco if he had to. Half of Harry was better than none at all, right?

Just then, a knock came at the door. He took his time answering it, knowing it must be Harry, and he didn't want to seem like he was just wishing he would come by. When he finally did open the door, it wasn't Harry, but Albus.

"May I come in?" He moved aside to allow his employer to enter. "Severus, we need to talk about Harry."

"I believe we already had this discussion, and I promised you that nothing more will happen."

"I never required that promise from you. I only asked that nothing sexual happen while you are at Hogwarts." The man sat down in the desk chair, staring at his surrogate son. "Harry tells me you are avoiding him. I think you should talk to him. Just because Draco is awake, does not mean everything is over between you two."

"Let me get this straight. Not only are you condoning my relationship with a student, but facilitating it as well?"

"There are different circumstances when it comes to Harry, you know that. I've been telling you that for years."

"Yes, well besides the fact that it is happening in your school, which I promise once again that won't happen anymore, you have no business sticking your nose in it."

"I know you love him Severus." The younger man scoffed. He may love Harry, but he wasn't about to admit it to Albus of all people. "You wouldn't risk your career for anything less than love."

"Are you done yet?" The headmaster smiled, eyes twinkling, and patted Severus on the back.

"Just talk to him." Then he left, leaving Severus, once again, to his thoughts.

–

I woke up pretty early, Draco was still fast asleep. I slipped out of the bed to grab a shower. As I finished getting ready, Draco awoke.

"Well, look who's suddenly an early bird. This is new." He got out of bed and gave me a chaste kiss. "I'm going to take a shower, and I when I come back, I'm going to rip those clothes right off of you." He gave me another kiss, more intense, and head into the bathroom.

I wanted to wait. I wanted to have sex with Draco. But I couldn't. Not before I told him everything. So I left and headed down to the kitchen to grab some breakfast. Both Remus and Severus were already eating, talking amongst themselves.

"Morning." I greeted them both, but I only got a response from Remus, which wasn't a surprise. I loaded my plate up with eggs and bacon, and began to eat. Before my plate was even half way empty, Draco stormed in.

"What are you doing?" He shouted at me accusingly.

"I'm eating." I said nonchalantly, he didn't seem to be impressed.

"Why won't you have sex with me?" Remus choked on his tea, and I dropped my fork on my plate.

"Draco!"

"I don't care what they hear. I want an answer now." Remus and Severus graciously made an exit, which I was thankful for.

"I never said I didn't want to have sex with you. I was tired last night, I told you."

"And this morning?"

"I was hungry."

"This is about Blaise, isn't it? You lied to me! Crabbe and Goyle both told me you were dating him." I stood up, now angry for the continuous accusation.

"There is nothing going on with me and Blaise."

"Then what is it? What are you keeping from me?" I tried to think of some excuse to throw at him, but I decided it would be pointless. I would have to tell him eventually. The longer I waited, the more upset he would be.

"I was seeing someone, but it wasn't Blaise." His features faltered, but he didn't seem angry.

"It's serious?" I nodded my head slowly. "I've only been gone six months and you start a serious relationship? Did you even love me at all?"

"Of course I loved you, I still love you. But I love him too. And it wasn't just six months, I've had feelings for him before, but I never acted on them, because we were together."

"Is it Weasley?" He shrieked, but I only shook my head, calming him down in the process. "So you had feelings for another man, besides Weasley, why we were dating?" The way he phrased it made me seem like a horrible person, and maybe I was. "Well, are you going to tell me who it is?"

I knew he wasn't ready to hear this, but if I didn't say it now, I don't think I would ever have the courage to. So I took a deep breath, and as quietly as I could, I whispered.

"It's Severus."

-

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	10. Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

**Most Wonderful Time Of The Year**

The silence radiating from the kitchen was deafening. I just admitted to Draco that I was in love with Severus and have been in a relationship with him while he was in a coma. The look on Draco's face was enough to make me miserable. Hurt and anger were spilling off of him. I didn't know what else to say.

"You have got to be kidding me?" He said calmly, almost as if he really thought I was joking. "You'd rather be with Snape then me?"

"No. Draco it's not.."

"I really don't even want to listen to it. I can't even believe I wasted a year of my life with you. I don't even know how I convinced myself I could love someone like you."

"Don't say that. You don't mean it."

"YES I DO!" His calm voice quickly turned to a loud piercing one of anger. "I HATE YOU HARRY POTTER! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN!" Then he stormed out of the kitchen. I quickly followed him, and realized he was heading towards the front door.

"Draco! You can't go out there, it's not safe."

"It's better than spending the rest of my holiday locked up in a house with you and your new boyfriend." He ripped open the door but I grabbed his arm to pull him back in.

"Get off of me Potter!"

"What's going on here? Close that door immediately." If I thought things couldn't get any worse, it was Severus' voice behind me. Draco immediately let go of the door and strode towards the man. Then he lifted up his wand.

"Crucio!" He shouted before I had a chance to stop him, Snape was withering on the ground, obviously not expecting Draco to throw such a dangerous curse.

"Draco!" Remus came into the now very cramped hallway. "Did you just cast an unforgivable? Have you gone mad?" Severus, still on the ground, disarmed Draco from where he sat.

"Trust me I'm not the one around here that's gone mad. I'm leaving." Once again he turned towards the door, but this time it was Remus who grabbed him.

"You don't even have your wand!" I shouted, but he seemed to pretend I didn't exist.

"Before you walk to your death, would you mind explaining to me what's going on?" Remus asked leading him away from the door.

"Why don't you ask them?" He gestured at me and Severus with disgust, we were now both on the ground. I wanted to smack myself for dropping to Severus' side after the curse was thrown at him. As much as I wanted to make sure Severus was okay, my actions were only going to escalate matters.

"Draco, please just listen to me," I tried to plead, but Draco just turned his head, refusing to meet my gaze. "You have to understand."

"I understand perfectly well. You wanted to be with him," he finally met my gaze after he shot a vicious look at Severus, "while you were with me. Tell me Harry, were you glad I was in a coma so you could finally be with the man you really wanted?"

"No, of course not, don't even think that. I was devastated after what happened. I didn't think I could live with myself. Severus was there to help me through it."

"He sure helped you through it alright. I bet he didn't waste any time."

"He didn't start anything, it was me. If you wanna be angry with anyone, be angry with me."

"Keep sticking up for him, go right ahead. He can have you for all I care. I'm done with this. I'm done with you. I deserve better than this." Then he began to walk away, fortunately towards the stairs. "Professor Lupin, if you don't mind, could you show me an empty room I can stay in?"

Remus glanced a sorry look at me before going off with Draco, to empty him from my room, and from my life.

I couldn't help but think maybe it would have been better to just listen to Severus in the first place. I should of just been with Draco, and gotten married like we planned, leaving my history with Severus behind us. What was I thinking?

Did I think being honest and truthful was going to help anyone? I just felt like I needed to get it off my chest. It certainly didn't help Draco or Severus. It was incredibly selfish. I deserved everything Draco said to me, plus some.

"You're an idiot." Severus confirmed my thoughts. "You better hope he keeps this a secret." Then he was off too. I forgot I just completely jeopardized his career as well. Wow, Harry, you're really on a roll tonight.

I went to bed alone that night, but I couldn't sleep. I couldn't get Draco's words out of my head. Did he say those things just because he was upset? Was what I did really worthy of hatred? I needed to talk to someone about this, but the last thing I wanted to do was listen to Remus lecture to me, so I decided to write Ron. At about 4:00am, I sent Hedwig off with a very long and confusing letter.

–

The days leading up to Christmas were very boring and lonely. Both Severus and Draco ignored me during all meals, and even Remus barely talked to me. He was sort of forced to play the mediator in the house, since no one was talking to anybody but him. He wasn't too keen on his new role, and rightfully blamed me for it.

Two days before Christmas during breakfast, Hedwig returned, finally, with a return letter from Ron.

-

Harry,

Mum said we can stay there for Christmas. We'll talk more when I get there. See you soon!

Ron

-

The next morning, he came through the door with Ginny and his parents. By the appearance of them, Draco seemed to get even angrier.

"You've got to be kidding me." He drawled on "If it isn't bad enough I have to spend my holiday with these," He gestured towards me and Severus, "now I have to suffer the company of Weasley's." He said loud enough for all to hear. Mrs. Weasley looked furious. I quickly pleaded with my eyes for her not to say anything. Last thing anyone needed was another argument in this house.

She reluctantly stayed quiet, but I was sure she would be asking me many questions later. A couple hours later, after everyone settled in their rooms, she ambushed me when Ron and I were playing chess in the kitchen.

"Do you mind explaining to me what that was about earlier?"

"Draco broke up with me." I said lazily, hoping it would be enough to keep her satisfied. Turns out, you can never satisfy and eager red headed mother.

"That's no reason to be rude. I think I'll have a talk with him."

"Please don't. He has every reason to be rude." I took a sip of my tea, buying time to think of what to say. "I, well, I've sort of been with someone else."

"Oh Harry dear," she said a little too happily. I was well aware that she, along with mostly everyone else, wasn't too keen on the idea of me being with Draco. "Ron never told me...unless. Oh no! You two will not be sharing a room on my watch. Ron switch with your sister right now."

"Mum.." Ron groaned. I wish he would pretend he was the one I was seeing to keep her questions at bay, but I knew that wouldn't happen. The truth would come out eventually. Mrs. Weasley seemed to ignore Ron though and went to get Ginny's attention.

"Mum!" Ron yelled, finally getting her attention."It's not me. It's..someone else."

"Well that answers why he's angry with you, but he seemed just as mad at Severus. I always thought Draco was his favorite student, that's what Ron had said."

I could tell the thought never even crossed her mind that Severus was the other person I've been seeing.

"I'm not sure," I lied to her. Ron didn't take his eyes off the chess board. She looked back and forth between the the both of us, obviously not believing me.

"Don't lie to me boys. You know very well, and you'll tell me," Then she stopped mid-sentence. "No. No. Absolutely not." She knew, and my face only confirmed it. She left the kitchen.

"Wow. She just left, I guess we got off easily, huh? Wonder where she's off to though." Ron said to me, but I stared off at the door she just vacated.

I didn't say anything. I was certain she went to go and talk to Severus.

In order to avoid all confrontations that were sure to arise, Ron, Ginny, and I hid out in my room. Ginny, who didn't know what happened the past few days, had tons of questions of her own. But unlike everyone else, she actually listened.

"Poor Draco, I mean, on Christmas. Maybe you should have waited to tell him Harry." My thoughts came out of her mouth. I knew how miserable Draco's past Christmas' have been, and I manage to ruin another one. I had to do something to make it right.

"Maybe you should talk to him Ginny. He likes you probably the most out of all my friends."

"Um, I don't think that's a good idea. I mean, if he doesn't want to be with you..."

"Not about me. Just talk to him, try to make his holiday a little better. Maybe." She bit her lip, not believing it would work, but got up nonetheless.

"I'll try." Then she was off.

It was less than ten minutes when she came storming back in.

"He called me a whore!" She came stomping in. "Told me he never wanted to see either of us ever again. Then he kicked me out!"

"He called you a what?" Ron asked furiously, standing up. "He can't talk about my sister like that! I'm going to show him.." Then he was out the door. I glanced once at Ginny before getting up and following Ron before he did anything rash.

Ron was moving quickly down the stairs, and before we caught up with him, we were interrupted by Mrs. Weasley.

"Ginny go back upstairs."

"But mum, Ron.."

"I'm serious. Now. And don't come out until we call you for dinner." Moping, she retreated in the opposite direction of Ron. "Harry, come with me." She lead me into the sitting room, where Mr. Weasley and Remus both sat. I suddenly felt very nervous.

"Harry dear, don't be worried. We only want to talk." Mrs. Weasley tried to sooth me. "Remus tells us that this, um, relationship with Severus has been going on for some time."

I looked over and Remus, and then at Mr. Weasley who both looked just as uncomfortable as I did.

"Mrs. Weasley, I mean no disrespect, but honestly, that's private." She glanced at her husband for support, and he reluctantly spoke up.

"Yes, we understand that, it's just, he's your professor." Mrs. Weasley looked happy with her husband, but I just rolled my eyes. I wasn't trying to be rude, but when you hear the same thing over and over again, it gets sort of old.

"Harry, this is serious!" She shrieked, standing up from the couch. "You could get in serious trouble."

"It's fine, really. Dumbledore set boundaries for us."

"Dumbledore knows of this? You can't be serious!" Lupin finally joined the conversation.

"He's allowing it?" Mr. Weasley asked. His wife seemed to let the men do the talking, now that they seemed to be seeing her side of things.

"It's not like he's allowing it. He set tons of rules, trust me. He just understands that I'm an adult and can make my own decisions." I stated matter-of-factly, settling both men at once. "But if it eases you at all, nothing is happening now, and I doubt it ever will again, with anyone." I said the last part under my breath. I suddenly became very aware of how much I was going to miss Draco.

I missed him when he was in a coma, of course, but that isn't the same. I didn't have to see him around with his friends, or even with a new boyfriend. I don't think I would be able to watch him be with anyone besides me. I hated myself so much. Why couldn't I wait six months? What is wrong with me?

I knew that the three of them were talking, but I wasn't really trying to listen. I really didn't feel like hearing any more lectures about my personal life. Although, I noticed they seemed to be talking more to each other than towards me.

"We should talk to Dumbledore, he must have reasons.."

"What reasons would there be to allow a teacher to take advantage of a seventeen year old boy?"

I hated when people referred to me as a boy or that Severus was taking advantage of me. I wasn't even going to argue with them, they would never listen, so instead, I just got up and left. I headed back to my room to speak with Ginny and Ron. But Ron wasn't there. Then I remembered where I was heading before Mrs. Weasley stopped me.

"Ron's still with Draco?" I asked Ginny who merely shrugged. "I think we should go check on them, make sure no ones dead."

"I'm sure they're fine."

"Gin, Draco cast an unforgivable at Severus the other day." Her eyes widened in shocked. "And considering Ron and Draco's history.."

"Let's go." We rushed down the stairs, Ginny leading the way. When she got to the door, she paused.

"Well, go on." She stepped back from the door.

"I'm sure they're fine. We should just go back upstairs." She tried to grab my arm, but I stayed put. This didn't make any sense.

"What's going on Gin?"

"I just thought, maybe it would be good if we let them get it out of their system is all. Maybe they just need to.."

"Need to what?"

"Oh Harry! This is stupid, let's just go back upstairs and wait for Ron to come back and tell us what happened." I knew she was hiding something. She stopped just before opening the door, she must have heard something. I leaned my head against the door, hoping to hear the same thing she did, but all I heard was silence. Conflicted on opening the door or heading back upstairs, I sat and listened to the silence.

Silence wasn't a good sign. It most likely meant one of them were unconscious. I had to make sure. So in my haste, I ripped open the door. The sight that met my eyes was one of my biggest fears.

Neither of them were unconscious. They weren't dueling, or even arguing for that matter. They seemed to be enjoying quite a lot of each other. Both of their eyes met mine, which were now glistening with tears. If Ginny didn't grab me out of the way, I don't think I would have ever been able to take my eyes off the scene I walked into.

This was the worst Christmas of my entire life.

-

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**A/N: I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter..so why don't you all let me know how you feel. (and if case you don't know what that implies..I'm asking you to review)**


	11. Alone

**Alone**

"Listen ferret!" Ron stormed into Draco's room without waiting for an invitation. "I've tried to be nice to you, for Harry's sake, but you don't talk to my sister like that and think you're getting away with it!"

Draco sat with his back towards Ron as he spoke back. "Yeah, you tried real hard." But it didn't sound nearly as intimidating as intended. His breath was hitched, making him sound rather pathetic, as if he was..

"Are you crying?" Ron asked in disbelief. Seeing someone like Draco Malfoy crying was something he never expected to see his entire life.

"Sod off Weasley." Draco said in the same tone of voice.

"Well, who would of guessed." Ron said mockingly. "Draco Malfoy is crying because his boyfriend broke up with him. Pathetic really."

"He did not break up with me." Draco's tears dried up quickly. Years of practice to not show emotion in front of others was paying off. Ron just laughed. "You're one to talk anyway. You tried getting Harry to leave me for you. Yeah, I read your little letter. Bet that was killing you, knowing he was with me."

Ron turned red from anger, which seemed to please Draco very much.

"How did it feel knowing the man you loved would rather be fucking a Malfoy every night then be with you?" Ron seemed to pick up some courage in order to knock Draco off his high horse.

"Every night?" Ron laughed. "Are you just disregarding all those night he spent with Snape?"

"He didn't, not when he was with me?" It was more of a question than a statement. Ron, satisfied he got to Draco, just shrugged. "No, he wouldn't do that."

"He did. He told me about it. In fact I saw it on the Marauder's Map with my own eyes." Draco suddenly looked like he was going to cry again.

"You're lying." Ron knew how Draco felt. He didn't want to make things worse, and certainly didn't want to be comforting, so he stayed silent. "Why would he do that to me? He loved me."

"Are you going to start crying again?" Draco snapped his head towards Ron looking disgusted.

"I don't cry, especially not over something as stupid as Harry." Ron just raised an eyebrow and let a small chuckle escape his lips. "He should be the one crying! He deserves a little taste of his own medicine."

Draco began to stalk towards Ron, who suddenly looked fearful of what the blond pure blood was about to do. Draco didn't hesitate and pushed his lips onto the red heads. Ron, unresponsive and confused, pushed him away.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Oh come on. Harry needs to know what it feels like to be hurt. To know what it feels to be betrayed. Who better to do that then me and you? Two people he hurt and betrayed."

"But I don't want to do that with you!" Ron exclaimed, backing away quickly.

"Don't flatter yourself Weasley, because I sure as hell don't fancy shagging you, but you're the only option I really have."

"Well find another one because I'm not doing it!"

"Like you have so many better prospects or something? Saving yourself for Harry, are you? Don't you get it. He'd rather be with Snape then you."

"No, it's not that, he just doesn't want to ruin our friendship." Draco started to laugh. "Just because you don't know what it's like to have a true friend."

"I forgot how dense you could be." Still laughing, he went for his trunk and began searching for something. "Harry doesn't want you. It has nothing to do with not wanting to ruin your friendship." Ron didn't say anything, but Draco knew his words were sinking in. "He needs to learn a lesson, and I need your help."

"I don't want to, not with you."

"We just need a little incentive, which is what this was for." He opened up his palm, revealing what he pulled from his trunk. A tiny brown box.

"What is that?" Ron said as he grabbed it, examining it.

"It's what we need. Don't open it unless you plan on going through with this."

"Is it like a love spell?"

"No, the last thing I need is a Weasley swooning over me." Ron shot him a dirty look before he went back to examining the box.

"What does it do?"

"It enchants the room so everything feels better, so I figure it would make it easier that way." Draco said happily, knowing Ron was considering his idea. Harry would finally understand the pain he felt.

"I just open it and it works?" Draco nodded as Ron fingered the lid. "How long does it last?"

"Twelve hours."

"We're going to shag for twelve hours?" Ron asked in disbelief.

"Hardly. It doesn't control you, just makes things more intense. We'll be able to walk away when ever we want."

"So, right away then?" Draco narrowed his eyes at him.

"Just open it or get out. I have no use for you otherwise." Draco turned and went to sit on his bed, expecting Ron to leave but he stood still with the box in hand. "Well?"

Without another word, Ron opened the box. Both sat waiting for something to happen.

"Did it work?" Ron asked and Draco laid back on the bed.

"There's only one way to find out." Ron hesitated before he began to walk towards the bed.

"This is weird, maybe we shouldn't. Really, what good will it do to hurt Harry?" Draco rolled his eyes as he sat up in bed.

"It will make us both feel better." Within seconds, Draco's lips were pressed against Ron's once again, except this time, Ron responded. They both crushed their lips together feverishly, falling back on the bed with Ron on top.

The intensity wasn't subtle at all. The box definitely worked. They both were in so much ecstasy that they didn't even care who they were with anymore. The only thing that matter was their release.

They began to tear at each other's clothes. In just a few minutes they were both naked, stroking the other's arousal, moaning in delight.

"Oh god! Fuck me please.." Draco begged and Ron got started preparing him. Never breaking apart, Ron let his fingers slip inside of Draco's tight entrance.

But then, as they both continued to stroke one another, at the same time Ron was thrusting his fingers into Draco, the door opened. Both of their eyes flew open and made their way to the now open doorway, where Harry stood.

He was crying and unmoving. The moment seemed to last forever, until Ginny dragged the boy away before slamming the door shut. As soon as the footsteps died away, Draco pushed Ron off of him.

"Well, that went swimmingly." He said with a smirk as he began getting dressed. Ron sat there on the bed, in shock, still completely nude and aroused. "Might as well put that thing away," He gestured to Ron's member, "No need for it now."

"You knew he was going to walk in." Ron said as he jumped out of the bed, getting dressed as if he finally noticed he was naked.

"I suspected his stupid bravery would make him come to see if you were okay."

"You planned this whole thing. That's why you called Ginny a whore, because you knew I would come in here." Draco just stared at the boy fumbling with his buttons with a smirk firmly planted on his face.

"Yes, well, you Gryffindors are awfully predictable. Blame yourselves for being that way, I just used it to my advantage."

"You..you!"

"Did I mention how articulate you are?"

"I can't believe Harry could love you! You're exactly who I thought you were." Ron went to throw open the door, but turned to face the Slytherin once more. "I'm going to make sure he knows that, if it's the last thing I do."

"Well, aren't you the noble one? But there's just one thing. You went into this knowing what I was planning. You're not any better than me, so you can stop pretending that you are."

"I didn't expect him to see it. I just thought.."

"Just thought what? He'd use his psychic abilities to know what was happening?"

"No, I don't know, but I didn't think it would be like this. His face..you don't even care."

"He deserves everything he gets. Now get out already, I'm tired of looking at you." Ron didn't bother to argue.

-

-

Ginny was leading me up to my room, but I didn't want to go there. No, thats the room I shared with Ron.

"Ginny, I have to be alone."

"I don't think that would be the best idea right now. You need to talk to someone." I just shook my head. "Harry, don't do this to yourself."

"I knew this would happen. I knew Draco would find someone else. I knew it would happen. I knew it. I deserve this."

"Hold on, aren't you getting ahead of yourself just a little bit?"

"Did we not see the same thing? They were about to have sex Gin! They're probably doing it right now." More tears began to run down my face, and I hardly noticed when we were entering the room I shared with Ron. "Why would he chose Ron? He could have anybody."

"I think you should just wait until they explain what happened."

"I know what happened. They wanted someone better than me, and so they found it. Wasn't hard though, everyone is better than me. Severus is probably fucking Remus right now."

"Ew Harry! Don't say things like that! Besides, don't you think you're being just a tad bit melodramatic?" Just then the door flew open and Ron stormed in, face still flushed from his time with Draco.

"Harry! Let me explain, it's not what you think." But I ignored his words. It didn't matter what he was going to say, I was sure I wasn't in the mood to hear it.

"No. You don't have to explain anything."

"Yes I do! It's a long story. It's, well, I don't know how to explain without it sounding really bad, but I swear I never meant to hurt you. Well I sort of did, but he talked me into it. I know I should of said no, but.."

"Ron, really, you have nothing to be sorry for. Draco isn't my boyfriend anymore. I'm just shocked is all, but I'll be fine. As long as he's happy." Then I got up and left, once again ignoring Ron yelling after me. Ginny must have stayed to listen to his story, but I didn't care. I was actually grateful to get her off of my back.

I wiped my face, removing all evidence of my crying, and headed down to the kitchen. Mrs. Weasley and Remus were there sharing a cup of tea.

"Harry. Why did you rush off earlier?" It took me a good thirty seconds to figure out what he was talking about. The ambush I got from the two, plus Mr. Weasley, escaped my mind the second I opened Draco's bedroom door to find him in a compromising position with my best friend.

"My room." I answered shortly, but honestly. "Is Severus upstairs?" Both of them looked at each other before looking back at me. I knew neither of them wanted to answer me, but Remus did anyway.

"Yeah," I nodded, turning away to go back upstairs. I don't know why I felt the need to go to Severus, but I did. I was devastated about Draco, I felt like he betrayed me. But in all honesty, I had no reason to be. He wasn't my boyfriend anymore, which was all my fault in the first place. Going to Severus with something like this, was probably stupid, but nonetheless, here I am, knocking on his door.

"I take it you heard." He greeted me as he opened the door.

"Heard what? I asked confused, pushing myself into the entryway. That's when I noticed his trunk open, and completely filled with all his things. "Where are you going?"

"Back to Hogwarts."

"What? Why? You've been planning to stay here for months. Tomorrow's Christmas. You have to stay here."

"Harry, things were different when I planned to come here. Besides, I'm not really welcomed here."

"Forget all of them. This is my house, and I want you here!" He moved closer to me and wiped a single tear away from my cheek. I haven't even realized that I was crying.

"Me staying here is only going to make things harder for you. I'll be fine at Hogwarts."

"Don't push me away again, please." I pleaded.

"I'm not pushing you away. I'm just giving you a chance to reconcile with Draco. He's better suited for you. I just getting in the way of your happiness." He began to resume packing, with his wand, so he remained where he was.

"What part of that means you're not pushing me away?"

"Listen, because I won't say all of this again. I don't even know how you got me to say it now." I wanted to tell him that he wasn't really saying anything at all, but it just didn't seem like the place for jokes. " I love you Harry. And I know Draco is a better fit for you. I want you to try and work things out, and for that to happen, I can't be around." I knew he had more to say, but he seemed very reluctant to.

"But on some off chance that you decide Draco isn't the one, I'll be waiting. Two weeks from now, two years from now. I'll always be waiting." He closed his trunk and brought it over to his side in one sweep. "I love you." He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on my lips, and then he was gone. Tears were still falling down my face, and I wasn't even sure why anymore.

I made my way over to Severus' bed and laid down. I could smell him on the pillow. I allowed the scent to soak into me, so I could forget everything that has happened today. The Weasleys and Lupin ambushing me, Ron and Draco's betrayal, and Severus' departure. Tomorrow was going to be a very lonely Christmas.

–

**reviewers are lovely :)**


	12. Forever Yours

**Forever Yours**

"Where's Harry?" Mrs. Weasley asked her youngest son on Christmas morning. But Ron just shrugged considering Harry never returned to their room last night. Even the mountain of presents left by his bed wasn't incentive enough to make him come back to the room he shared with his best friend. "Still sleeping then? Why don't you go wake him?"

"Mum, I don't know where he is." He said lamely. The last thing he wanted to do was explain why Harry wouldn't want to return to his room last night.

"What do you mean you don't know where he is?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Draco spat rudely. "There's one other person missing from the table. Harry's too busy with his new boyfriend then to bother with the formalities of Christmas morning with the people he calls family." Just as Draco was making his proclamation, I, still in the same clothing as the day before, stumbled into the kitchen.

"Oh, there he is!" Mrs. Weasley beamed as Draco hadn't said a thing. "Happy Christmas dear, we were just about to eat." I sat down in the seat between Remus and Ginny and tried my best to ignore the look of disgust coming from Draco.

"Where's your boyfriend? Having a lay in? Keep him up all night?" I felt uncomfortable, but I tried my best not to say anything, and everyone seemed to follow my example.

"How come you're not wearing your sweater Ronald?" Mrs. Weasley once again changed the subject for us, but my eyes stayed on Draco and his stayed on mine. I knew he was doing his best to show anger and resentment, but I could swear I saw a glimmer of hurt. That's when I decided Severus was right. I would have to do whatever was necessary to make sure Draco stayed in my life.

The rest of breakfast was mostly spent listening to Ron argue with his mum about wearing his Christmas sweater, and Ron claiming it was too warm inside, but in the end he was going upstairs to retrieve it.

I tried to stop Draco on his way back to his rooms.

"Did you get my gift?" I asked halfway up the stairs. I got him a new novel, since most of his were still at his home, which he couldn't exactly return to.

"Yeah," he replied nonchalantly, "really warmed up my room this morning." I wondered if he really would burn the book, but tried my best to refrain from asking. "Well I do have a present for you."

My heart skipped a beat as I followed him to his room. The fact that he would still give me a Christmas present brought hope to our reconciliation. Of course, all those thoughts were thwarted when he threw me the enchantment I gave him last year.

"Thought you might want that back. Worked wonders by the way."

"You used this with Ron?" I tried my best to fight back the tears threatening to escape. For a split second, he almost looked remorseful.

"Anyway, I thought you could give me my ring back as well."

I instantly let my fingers run over the ring that has been on my finger for the past year. I read the inscription, 'I am forever yours, Draco' over and over in my head.

"That was a short forever." I barely whispered.

"You're the one who changed the definition on that one, not me. Now can I have back my ring?" I held on tighter to the ring, engulfing my finger in a tight grip.

"It doesn't have to be. We could try and work things out. I could change. I could be the man you want." I did notice I was rambling, but it was the best I could do at the time. "I'll be completely honest with you. Forever. Like we planned."

"Like we planned? You mean before you betrayed me and starting sleeping with Snape?"

"It wasn't meant to be like this. If I would of known, I never would have."

"If you would of known what? That I wouldn't want you after you fall in love with someone else? You are the most arrogant person on the face of the Earth."

"I know what I did was wrong, and you did the same thing with Ron.."

"I did nothing of the same with Weasley. I didn't hold feelings for him behind your back. I didn't start dating him immediately after I was in a coma, a coma I happened to be in while protecting you, and then fall in love with him. What I did was nothing, don't ever compare the two again."

"I never meant to hurt you." I could hear him mumbling something, but I tried to ignore it the best I could. "And you're right. What happened between me and Severus, and you and Ron are completely different. Because the only reason you would ever do something like that is to hurt me."

"You're point?"

"I would never intentionally hurt you."

"Did you think that when I woke up I would be happy to find out what you were up to? Did you think I wouldn't be hurt?"

"Everyone told me.."

"I DON'T CARE WHAT EVERYONE TOLD YOU! YOU SHOULD HAVE WAITED, like I would have for you. God, I would have waited forever for you, and you couldn't even wait six months. That's how much I'm worth to you."

"I know. It was the biggest mistake of my life," I sounded utterly defeated, which I was. There was no sane reason for him to take me back, but I had to keep trying, because I didn't know what else to do.

"I ruined the greatest thing I had going for me because I'm too afraid to be alone. I'm nothing without you Draco. I ruin everything around me. I'm the cause of death and destruction all throughout the world, and I can't even manage to keep the one thing I have control over in tact. I know I don't deserve you, but I'm begging you to please give me another chance. I'll do anything to win your trust back."

"There's nothing you can do. Just leave Harry." Tears were flowing freely from my eyes, and from the look on Draco's face, he was soon to follow.

"No I can't leave you. Not until you tell me again that you don't love me. If you tell me that, I'll leave you alone forever. But if you still love me, which I think you do, I can't let you go."

"It doesn't matter if I love you or not. What's done is done." A single tear slipped away from his grasp. "Keep the ring, but leave. Just leave."

"I don't want to leave."

"It doesn't really matter what you want. This is my room now, so go back to your boyfriend and leave me alone."

"He's not my boyfriend!"

"Whatever."

"I love you." He didn't respond, but I didn't expect him to really. "Snape's gone by the way." He looked up for a minute, as if he was going to say something but changed his mind. "Don't hesitate if you want to talk to me. Anytime, I'll be here."

"I won't."

"Well, just in case you change your mind." Then I left him alone.

–

Later that evening, after thoroughly boring myself in Severus' old room, I went back to my room. Ron sat on his bed by himself. I ignored his presence and sat on the floor, opening my presents. I opened all of them very unenthusiastically. Even the new wardrobe from Remus didn't lift my spirits.

"Anything good?" Ron asked but I just ignored him. "Harry, will you please let me explain?"

"It doesn't matter Ron, I told you."

"But you're upset."

"Of course I'm upset, but you explaining how you ended up sleeping with Draco isn't going to make me feel better, so I don't see the point."

"We never slept together. What you saw, that was the worse of it, and I wish I never did it. I swear. I feel so bad."

"Join the club." That's when Ginny walked in.

"Join what club?" She laid down on my bed. "Is it the miserable loners on Christmas club? Because if it is, I swear this is the club house."

"What do you want Ginny?" She may have been right, but I would of preferred to be alone today.

"I want everyone to stop being upset and have fun, but you're not exactly helping matters. Seriously, what were you thinking spending the night with Snape when Draco is here."

"Severus is gone. He went back to Hogwarts. I spent the night alone."

"Well why didn't you say something? Now Draco thinks you were with him last night."

"I told him, not that it makes any difference."

"Of course it makes a difference! He won't even think about taking you back if he thinks you're spending every night with Snape. That is if you still want him back, after," she glanced over at her brother quickly, "I mean, you know."

"Yes, I want him back. That," Now it was my turn to look over at Ron who was trying his best to divert his attention from both of us. "Well, it didn't stop me from loving him."

"I still can't believe you would do that Ron." Ginny accused Ron, but I stayed silent. I really wanted to try and forget the image I received last night. "What were you thinking? Even if he wasn't Harry's boyfriend,"

"Ex-boyfriend," she rolled her eyes at me but continued nonetheless.

"Fine, ex-boyfriend. You still hate him, why would you do that?"

"I don't know. He just said," he paused as he watched me debating whether of not to say what he was going to say. As much as I claimed not to be interested in what brought the two together, I couldn't help but be curious. "He convinced me I needed to get back at you too, because you'd rather be with Snape then with me. I know I still shouldn't have, but I know it's true."

"You want to be with Harry?" Ginny asked in disbelief. I have yet to tell anyone about Ron's hints that he still wanted me. "Since when?" She now looked at me, but I just shrugged. "You can't be serious Ron! I mean after how you treated him, you expect him to love you.."

"The way I treated him? What about the way Malfoy treated him? Or Snape? What about them? How come I'm the only one who never gets to be forgiven? Yeah, sure, I made some mistakes, but I've always been a good friend. Since first year, it was me and you. I didn't torment you for five years, like both the men you choose over me." Even though Ginny was the one who made the comment, all of Ron's anger was towards me.

"You love them still, but what about your best friend? You say you've forgiven me, but you haven't, and you never will. You wonder why I did it? Because I wanted you to know what it feels like to watch the one you love with someone else. Someone they're suppose to hate. Like I have every day for the last year." Then he stormed out of the room.

I thought about what he said for a minute, and I understood. If I was in Ron's situation, I would probably feel the same way. I didn't love Ron anymore, and he was right on me never loving him again, not in that way. But he was my best friend.

I never even gave a second thought to how Ron was feeling, and it made me think about myself. How often have I just ignored others feelings? How often have I ignored Draco's feelings? I'm sure he reminded me often enough how selfish I was, but I just put it off to him being angry with me. But he was right. I was selfish. And in order for him to trust me again, I had to stop thinking about myself for once.

"Don't go after him, just let him cool off on his own." Ginny tried to stop me as I rushed off to speak to Draco. "You'll probably both just say stuff you'll regret tomorrow."

"I'm not going after Ron." Then I left without anymore explanation. When I got to Draco's door, I ignored my impulse to storm in, and knocked quietly. He answered the door in just a few seconds, but didn't speak when he saw it was me.

"Here." I pulled the ring off of my finger and put it into his hands. "I don't deserve it."

"What made you change your mind all of a sudden?" I laughed bitterly at my own stupidity. All the things he has been telling me throughout the course of our relationship finally made sense.

"Because I finally understand why I don't deserve the right to wear that ring." Then I gave him a small smile before heading back to my room. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I wanted so badly to go back there and take back what I said and slip the only gift I received from Draco back onto my finger. The only tangible thing I had to prove that Draco did love me.

"Harry!" Draco yelled my name, and I don't think it would have been possible to get back to him faster than I did.

"Yeah?"

"Will you stay here tonight? Just for tonight?" I smiled and he grabbed my hand pulling me into his room. My heart was beating so fast, I could of sworn it was going to explode out of my chest.

Maybe this Christmas wasn't going to be so bad.

-

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	13. All Is Well

**A/N: Sorry about the lateness of the update but my computer broke and I'm forced to use this million year old laptop that is so slow its making me want to commit suicide. Hopefully my computer will be fixed sometime this week..or else I might explode. Anyway, enjoy the chapter.**

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**All Is Well**

I woke up to the face of Draco sleeping peacefully. It was such a wonderful feeling to have Draco's arm wrapped around my chest, I didn't want to let go. But within minutes after I awoke, he was removing himself from the bed.

I was hoping for a repeat of last night, but with Draco beginning to get dressed, it didn't look like that was happening.

I could picture every moment in my mind. The way he kissed and licked his way down my body, bringing me to full arousal. When he climbed on top of me, straddling my waist. Lowering himself onto me painfully slow. Lifting himself up with a moan and slamming back down onto me causing sweat to drip down his face.

It was a glorious sight, one that I could only hope I would get to see again.

"You should go get ready before you miss breakfast." I was ripped from my daydream of the night before.

"I'd rather be here, besides I'm not too hungry."

"Harry." I walked over to him, pulling him into and embrace and planting a kiss on his neck. "Last night didn't change anything. I'm still not ready. I can't trust you."

I pulled away slowly and nodded. I wasn't sure if I should be grateful or not for last night. It was incredibly amazing, but to walk away the next day was even more difficult. But I did as he asked.

--

Everything after that was all back to normal, well as normal as the last few weeks have been. He had refrained from insulting me and mentioning my relationship with Severus at regular intervals, which was nice. Ron and I still weren't speaking, and he wasn't trying to anymore since his outburst the night before, but I wasn't worried about that. There was only one thing on my mind, and that was how to earn Draco's trust.

All my solutions would take a long amount of time that I would prefer it to be as quick as possible. I needed Draco back in my life, and I wasn't sure I could wait.

After dinner, Ginny and I decided to hang out in the sitting room alone.

"Have a good time last night?" Ginny asked me with her eyebrows raised. I blushed, thinking of my night with Draco. I haven't even thought about whether anyone could hear us or not.

"You heard us?" She broke into a huge grin.

"No, but apparently there was something worth hearing, so I take that as a good sign."

"I don't know." I shrugged, wondering if that was my last night to actually be with Draco.

"What do you mean you don't know? I thought you wanted him back."

"I do. So bad. But I don't know if Draco really wants me back. I think I was just sort of, well,"

"A one off?" She said nonchalantly, but I became even redder. I really wasn't even sure what she meant, but I had a good idea.

"I'm not sure, I mean, what is a one off exactly?" Her only response was laughter.

"Oh come on, you can' t be serious. It means it was a one time thing, just sex."

"Oh," which was pretty close to what I assumed. "Well, I don't know. He said it didn't change anything, but I don't think it was a one off."

"Well that sort of exactly what it means, unless maybe he just wants to be fuck buddies."

"Gin! Stop!" She rolled her eyes while laughing at me but I just scowled at her. "I don't want to be anybody's you know what, especially Draco's. I love him. I want to be his husband. Not his whore." Just thinking that not long ago I wasn't sure I wanted to marry Draco seemed absurd. I don't know what I was thinking then.

"A fuck buddy isn't a whore." She pronounced pretty loudly. I didn't see how someone who would build a relationship with someone based solely on sex could not be a whore, but I let it go. She seemed to feel pretty strongly about it, so I just dropped it.

"I still don't want to do it." She shrugged and placed a hand on my arm.

"So don't. Just make sure Draco knows what you want."

"I think I've got a pretty good idea." I turned to see Draco standing in the doorway unmoving, and I wondered how much of our conversation he heard. Ginny smiled and make a quick excuse to exit. Draco came over and sat next to me on the couch. "So.."

"So."

"You still want to marry me?" Well that sort of answered the question on how long he was standing there.

"Of course I do. I want to be back where we left off." He seemed to think about this for a while before leaning in towards me and letting his head fall to my shoulder.

"I wish it could be that easy." I couldn't have said it better myself. I just tried the enjoy the moment with Draco resting in this position. "But it can't be." He sat up and looked me straight in the face. "Why Snape? What does he have?"

I was pretty sure talking about Severus was not a way to move forwards, but Draco deserved to know. It would have to come out eventually, so I swallowed the lump in my throat before replying.

"We just understood each other. He was there when.." I stopped short, knowing what I was going to say and I wanted to smack myself for it. I really need to learn to think before I speak.

"When I wasn't, you mean?"

"No!" I grabbed his hand, forcing him to look me in the eye.

"That's what you were going to say Harry. You were with him when we were together, weren't you?"

"No of course not, I wouldn't do that to you."

"Don't lie. Weasley told me he saw you two on that map of yours and you told him you did."

"Oh," Draco rolled his eyes. "I told you when we broke up last year that I was spending lots of time with him, that's what he's talking about."

"When he kissed you?" I nodded. "So when I asked if anything more happened, and you told me no,"

"I was lying." I finished for him. "I'm sorry, but I didn't want to hurt you. That was the end of it. I was just upset and.."

"You seem to go to him whenever you're upset with me. So I'm going to spend the rest of my life wondering if I upset you enough to turn to him."

"No. Draco, listen to me. I would never cheat on you. Ever. I want to spend eternity with you. Severus," I paused, realizing I used his first name, which I was trying to avoid when speaking to my former fiance. "Were over. I want you. I need you."

"I don't know Harry, I really don't." But he leaned back allowing his back to press against my chest. I wrapped my arms around his torso, relishing in the feeling.

"I promise you. You'll be the only man in my life until the day I die."

And if timing couldn't get any worse the door opened and a loud group of people came walking down the hallway, passing by the doorway in perfect view of both of us. Severus included.

He didn't stop, but he did glance at us quickly, and continued down the hall. But Draco sat up, leaving an empty feeling against me.

"What's he doing back here?" I could sense the anger and jealousy coming from him.

"An order meeting I guess." He sighed and got up.

"Shouldn't you be going then?" I just shook my head and pulled him back down on the couch.

"I'd rather sit here with you."

"Harry, were about to start." Remus stuck his head into the sitting room, interrupting my time with Draco. I felt like hitting him. Why is it that nothing ever works out the way I want them too.

"That's okay, I'm going to stay here." I tried reluctantly, but I knew I couldn't get off that easy.

"It's important." Draco sat up once again and looked me in the eyes.

"Just go." I sighed, knowing it was useless to continue to argument. I headed into the kitchen, where everyone was meeting and took a seat next to Remus, doing my best to not look at Severus.

The meeting was business as usual, but my mind stayed steadily on thoughts of my previous night with Draco. I didn't see how it was so important for me to be here. Someone could have easily told me what was said. Someone would have to tell me anyway, because I wasn't listening to a word coming from Dumbledore's mouth.

Which could be the reason why everyone was suddenly paying very close attention to me.

"Harry, are you paying attention?" Remus asked me and I felt extremely uncomfortable under the scrutiny of the entire order. Last time this happened, didn't end well for me.

"Sorry," I shrugged, not having any excuse for inattentiveness.

"I was just suggesting that you're best course of action would be to study Slytherin's book as often as your schedule allows. You and Professor Snape can set up times to meet in his office and translate it. Were bound to find something of use." The Hogwarts Headmaster spoke clearly with a twinkle in his eyes. Then I turned to face Severus, who was looking at the old man.

As sure as I was that he was right, I didn't want to believe it. Draco didn't have a single reason to trust me, and if I had to spend alone time with Severus, he would never give me a chance.

I wanted to tell Dumbledore to forget it, and find another option, but I couldn't. I knew I was the only person, other than Voldemort, who was capable of translating that book. And as far as putting an end to Voldemort, we had nothing besides it. It held dark magic that could be found nowhere else. No one could perform them but me.

As the meeting came to an end, Dumbledore asked me to stay behind. Severus stayed as well, even though he wasn't asked.

"Harry, I noticed your mind was elsewhere tonight." Which was the understatement of a century. "I know you must have a lot on your mind, but these meetings are important, especially for you."

I figured now would be as good a time as any to broach the subject of the book, and my reluctancy to study it alone with Severus. It would have been much easier if he wasn't standing here listening, but I didn't even know if I would see Dumbledore again until after the holidays.

"Sir? About the book, well," I began to babble but was cut off by Severus.

"Mr. Malfoy will be having private lessons with me to help him catch up what he has missed. I'm sure we can arrange it that your studying sessions match his." I bit my lip and nodded. The coldness of his voice hurt just a little, but I was still thankful. "I'll see you back at Hogwarts." Then he left, robes billowing behind him.

"Harry." The headmaster had to catch my attention and I realized I was staring at the empty doorway. "I hope you understand how important this book is. I believe it is the key we've been looking for. This may be what the prophecy was speaking of."

"How do you figure?" I informally address the man.

"As you know, when Voldemort gave you that scar, he transfered some of his powers. One of those powers is you're ability as a parselmouth."

"So that's how Voldemort marked me as his equal, but what about the power that he knows not, or whatever. He has the power to speak it too, it can't be that."

"No, of course not, but I'm sure we'll discover than soon." I suspected he knew more than he was letting on, but didn't find the point in questioning him about it now.

I returned to the sitting room, but Draco was gone, presumably back to his room to sleep as it was rather late. The Weasley's had left after the meeting, so I returned to my Ron free room, and got ready for bed. As I laid there in darkness, I thought of everything that has transpired today, when my door opened.

"I'll always be afraid that one day you'd leave me for him. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust you. It's funny how things can change so fast. Just a week ago, I thought we were perfect. I wouldn't give it a second thought to defend our love to anyone who tried to question it. But now.."

"Draco.." I tried to speak, but apparently I was only to listen tonight.

"Now I'm questioning myself. Was last year worth what I'm going through now? Will we ever be able to get back to where we were? But that ones pretty simple to answer, because we'll never be able to get back, no matter what. You changed that. You ruined everything that we had. Now there is only one more question that needs to be answered. Can we build something new? Something stronger?" He looked at me as if expecting an answer, but I remained silent. "It takes time. Time I'm not willing to wait."

I wanted to die. This was it. The moment where all hope would be lost. I didn't want to listen, but I did. My eyes stayed glued on his.

"Harry."

"Draco, please.."

"I need your word. That you'll be mine forever. No matter what."

"Oh god," I was elated. "I'm yours. I promise you. Forever."

"Then move over." I eagerly slid to the end of the bed, holding the covers up to let him slip inside and into my arms once again.

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**Drarry fans rejoice :) Please review.**


	14. Open Your Eyes

**Open Your Eyes**

The rest of the holidays went perfect. Draco and I were literally inseparable. It was extremely awkward at times, but I was determined to get through those moments and enjoy all the good ones.

Our sex life improved greatly. It seems Draco was trying to compete with Severus, because he didn't hold anything back. Not that I didn't enjoy our prior sex life, but now it was just too amazing to describe. It did bother me a little that he thought I was comparing the two, but I wasn't going to convince him to stop.

We spent our morning and afternoons with Remus usually, which was nice. He seemed to throw all of his support for me and Draco being together, which was just another change. I'm certain he was only happy that I wasn't with Severus anymore, but I'd take it nonetheless.

As happy as I've been the past week though, I was terrified that it would be different when we got back to school. Not only will we be forced to separate often for meals, classes we didn't share, and probably for most nights, but Severus was going to be there. Everyday.

Not to mention both of us will have to have regular lessons with the man. I was afraid to bring up that subject with Draco, but he seemed to take it much better than expected.

"You're having lessons with him again? You can't be serious, that's how all of that started in the first place."

"I have to, it's for the order, but I can guarantee 100% that absolutely nothing will happen."

"And I'm suppose to trust your guarantee? After everything.."

"No, I don't expect you to trust me yet," I interrupted his rant. "But you'll know nothing will be going on because you'll be there for your Potions make up lessons." He groaned inwardly.

"Great. Just what I wanted." He drawled on sarcastically. "Of course, it will give me ample opportunity to remind him that you're mine."

I wasn't too happy with the idea of Draco intentionally making Severus jealous, but I smiled and gave him a kiss, glad this didn't turn into a big argument like suspected.

That was the biggest argument we got into since officially getting back together. I could only hope it would stay that way when we got back to Hogwarts.

"Are you two ready?" Remus poked his head into our room where we were just finishing our last minute packing.

"Yeah," I answered and he walked in and gave me a big hug.

"I'll miss you Harry. I must say it's been quite enjoyable having your company." He glanced over to Draco. "Yours too of course."

"I'll miss you too Rem, and I'll see you this summer. We both will."

"Yeah, you can help us get ready for the wedding," Draco suggested.

"I can't believe you're going to get married Harry. It seemed only yesterday I was changing your diapers. I missed so much of your life."

"Well you won't miss anymore of it, I promise." He smiled at me and then at Draco.

"Well, we best be off, Harry, you'll have to apparate Draco, seeing as he still hadn't had a chance to take his test."

"I know, I never thought I would still have to be apparated side along when I was seventeen. Of course, I always suspected to be awake during my birthday.."

"Come on." I yanked him out of the room as I levitated our trunks downstairs. Every time Draco began talking about everything he missed, it never ended good for me, so I changed the subject. "You're friends are waiting."

Which was true, but definitely an understatement. When we arrived in London, we were quickly bombarded by both Crabbe and Goyle.

"Malfoy!" They both squealed simultaneously. They began to grab at his arms and chest, almost as if they were checking he's real.

"Relax." Draco commanded and they both stepped back about a foot. "You two are really helpless without me, aren't you." They both nodded stupidly and I couldn't help but laugh.

"What's so funny?" The familiar voice of Hermione came from behind me.

"Hermione!" I hugged my best friend tightly.

"Did you have a nice holiday?" I nodded and smiled looking over at Draco.

"That's great, and it's good to have you back Draco." Draco turned at the use of his first name coming from Hermione. He nodded quickly, but didn't say a word before returning his attention to his friends. "Have you seen Ron yet?"

"Uhh, no, not really." She quirked her eyebrows at my awkward response. "Well we sort of had a fight over Christmas."

"Not again! You two are ridiculous."

"Hey, I didn't do anything."

"What did he do now?" But before I had a chance to explain, Ron became quite visible.

"Oh, there he is." I said, avoiding the question. I was trying to forget Ron and Draco's little stunt together. Luckily for me, Draco turned to tell me that we were going to find a compartment. "Um, I'm going with them. I'll see you at school."

"Alright."

I spent most of the train ride listening to Crabbe and Goyle eagerly telling Draco everything that he missed. Blaise and Draco acted as if they forget that they weren't talking before the incident, they seemed to be good friends once again.

Consider Blaise was pretty much Draco's only friend who wasn't a complete moron, I was happy. I can only stand Crabbe and Goyle for so long before I want to tear my hair out.

As boring as the conversation was, I just enjoyed holding Draco's hand once again. My ring, which Draco gave back last night, glistened against his pale skin. I felt truly happy.

--

My moment of happiness dissipated when we got to the Great Hall and were forced to separate. I let my eyes glaze over the head table so I could get a glance at Severus without being obvious. He was watching me with interest. I went to sit with Hermione, Ginny, and Ron (who happened to look down at his empty plate when I sat down).

I was dealing with enough between Draco and Severus, that I really didn't need to continue this argument with Ron. Besides, Draco was just as guilty as Ron, and if I can forgive him, I should do the same for Ron.

"Ron," I whispered so only he could hear, "Listen, we're cool, alright? I understand why you did what you did. I just want everything to go back to the way it was. Okay?"

"Yeah, mate. I'm sorry. I really.."

"It's cool. I get it."

I only wish all of my reconciliations could go as well as that. But from now on, I'm vowing not to cause any more unnecessary arguments.

I looked up at Severus once again, who was now watching Dumbledore give his welcome back speech. I wish there could be a way for us to still be friends, but I knew Draco would not be okay with that. I would have to settle for just a mediocre student teacher relationship.

After the feast, I was walking Draco back to his dormitory before we separated for the first night since we got back together.

"You think it would be too obvious if I spent the night with you?" I asked and he only pushed me away jokingly.

"Control yourself Potter."

"What if I don't want to?" I said running back towards him and wrapping my arms around his waist lifting him up off the ground.

"Put me down!" He shrieked, but I only hoisted him up higher.

"What do you say?"

"If you ever want to get laid again, put me down." I quickly complied.

"What do you know? Those were the magic words." He only laughed and Crabbe and Goyle just grunted.

"Harry, I wanted to ask you something serious." I got a little nervous. "Come on." He dragged me into an empty corridor and we sat down on the bench, where I sat fidgeting. "Calm down Harry, it's about Granger."

"Oh," I sounded shocked, because I was. It was rare for Draco to ever want to talk about my friends. "What about her?"

"Well, I just wanted to know if she was okay with what happened," he paused, "with my father. I mean, I was just wondering if maybe she talked to anyone about it."

"Oh, well, yeah she said she did over the summer. You know that's not your fault, right?"

"Yes, I know, but with all the rumors going to about her and the Weaslette, I thought it might have something to do with that."

"What are you talking about?" I don't see how Draco would know any rumors about my friends before me, especially consider a month and a half ago he wasn't even around to hear anything.

"You haven't heard?" I shook my head. "Oh well, according to pretty much everyone, they've been fucking the whole school."

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I even asked Weasley about it, and she didn't deny it. Just kept ranting about how it was none of my business, so I let it drop."

"It can't be true. I know them, they would never do anything like that."

"Are you sure?" He asked with his eyebrows raised, and I couldn't help but get a little angry. I tried my best not to let it show though.

"Of course I'm sure. They're my friends, I would know."

"Okay, relax, I was just worried is all."

"About Hermione?"

"Yeah, after what she went through, I just thought it would be good if she talked to someone, rather than, well, it doesn't matter. We should get to bed. Separately," he added when the eager smile plastered on my face, successfully killing it.

"Fine. Goodnight. Love you." We kissed a few times before I returned to my own dormitory. I couldn't help but think about what Draco told me about Ginny and Hermione. As I sat with Ron, I watched the two talking privately across the common room.

"When did Hermione and Ginny become so close?" I ask him, he looked over at them and just shrugged.

"Dunno."

"You didn't hear anything about them, did you?" I knew it was a stupid thing to ask. If Ron would have heard that, he would of freaked out.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, it's nothing. I'm gonna go to bed."

"Alright. See you tomorrow."

I watched them both intently for the next two weeks. Other than an apparent blooming friendship, I didn't see anything of consequence so I let it drop.

My first night in Severus' office went well. It seems Severus took it upon himself to make sure we didn't have to speak at all. He handed me Slytherin's book, a piece of parchment, and had me study it silently, writing it down in English. He did the same for Draco, but he was happier about it. He gave him a potion to make, then he graded it, but all in all, there was very little talking between any of us. It was incredibly awkward.

Awkward or not, I was happy that these lessons didn't disrupt things with me and Draco. We even planned a nice date in Hogsmeade today, and this time we won't have any interruptions.

"Don't you look delectable." Draco said I met him in the Great Hall after breakfast. I wore my best wizard's robes for the occasion, as did he.

"What can I say? You bring out the best in me."

"Well we all know that's the truth." I laughed but took his hand in mine as we made our way into town. We did a little shopping, and then had lunch at Madam Puddifoots. Just as planned, we weren't interrupted by anyone, until we were on our way back.

We heard some arguing coming from behind a building which made Draco freeze. I had to admit I was curious, but it didn't look like Draco stopped because he was in need of some gossip. I tried to listen to the voices, but it was so muffled by the swarm of students passing by.

"What is it Draco?" Instead of answer he made his way down the alley toward the arguing pair. I followed him cautiously, with my wand out. When Draco turned the corner where the men were, I heard a familiar voice.

"Draco." It was Lucius Malfoy.

"Shouldn't you be heading back to the castle Mr. Malfoy?" And Severus. I quickly turned the corner and grabbed Draco's hand.

"Come on." He didn't move

"And if it isn't Harry Potter. I am quite surprised to see you here. Meeting your lover? Is this why you were waiting back here Severus?" He turned back towards the older man looking at him with disgust. "I can't believe you left us for that. A child. Not to mention, my son's former finance."

"Current." Draco's quiet voice spoke.

"WHAT?" Lucius yelled, seeming to forget about Severus. "You took that boy back after what he did to you? You'd give up your family for someone who cheats and lies?"

"He's my family now," Draco said weakly.

"Is that right? Well don't expect to come crawling back to me when he leaves you, and trust me he will. That is if he's still not fucking him," he gestured to Severus, "behind your back. I wouldn't put it past them."

"That's a lie!" I yelled, but quickly regretted it.

"So defensive. If he's not already, he's thinking about it. Trust me Draco, I'm your father." Draco said nothing. "Don't worry son, I'll open your eyes for you. And you," once again he turned to Severus. "Think you're safe hiding away with Dumbledore? You can't hide forever. We will find you." And with that he disapparated.

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**Uh oh! Lucius is back to cause trouble... **

** Got my computer fixed! yay! So now you should all review, because you love me and want to make me happy :)**


	15. Breath Again

**Breath Again**

The walk back to the castle was a silent one. Half of me was so worried that Draco was believing his father's words. That he thought I was sleeping with Severus behind his back, or thinking about it, which were both untrue. Even if I still held feelings for the man, I was serious when I told Draco forever. I would never cheat on him.

The other half of me was angry with Draco. There was only one way that Lucius could have known what he did. Draco must have told him. I briefly wondered how long they were corresponding, and if they still were. What all had he told him?

"Do you miss him?" I guess he was letting it get to him, but that was a difficult question to answer without lying or him getting the wrong idea.

"I love you Draco. I want to be with you."

"That wasn't an answer."

"Well what do you want me to say? Yes, I miss him, but that doesn't mean I want to be with him. He was my friend, but I'd rather be with you."

"So you don't regret your decision?"

"Of course I don't."

"But you do miss him?"

"Yes, but it's not what you're thinking.."

"How do you know what I'm thinking?" He shot at me before I could finish. I stopped in my walking, and he followed my lead stopping a few paces in front of me.

"I know you, Draco. Don't let what your father said get to you. It isn't true. I would never cheat on you, and I would certainly never leave you." He sighed and allowed me to put my arm around his shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"I do have a question though." He turned his head slightly and looked me up in the eyes. "How long have you been writing your father?" His eyes quickly darted to the ground.

"Well, he wrote me when I was still at St. Mungo's, asking me to come home, but I ignored it. Then I found out about you, and well, I just wanted to get out of that house."

"Draco, please promise me, that no matter what happens you won't go back to that house."

"Well I'll have to go back eventually."

"Why would you have to go back? It's not safe for you there."

"It's my home. They're my family."

"Draco. You're father raped Hermione." He cringed only for a second, but then put a stern look on his face.

"I know, but I can't abandon him just because he made a few mistakes. He's my father."

"A few mistakes?" I asked as I removed myself from him. I couldn't believe he was saying these things.

"I know what he to did to Granger was horrible, but I love him, and he loves me. I mean, what if you found out some horrible thing you're father did, wouldn't you still love him?"

"My dad never raped anyone," he was about to reply but I pressed on, getting angrier by the second. "My father didn't watch as a maniac tortured me and put me into a coma. Instead my parents gave their lives for me, so I think I have a right to love them."

"Oh, well aren't you so bloody special with your perfect self sacrificing parents. Sorry but some of us just aren't as lucky as you, and we still love our parents unconditionally." Then he stormed off ahead of me, and I let him.

--

I hung back for a while, giving him a chance to get far away so I wouldn't run into him again, and that's when someone else caught up to me.

"What are you doing Harry?" Severus asked as I sat on a large rock just on the outskirts of the Hogwarts grounds.

"We got in a fight." I answered, and I could tell he understood why even without me explaining.

"You should get back to the castle, it's getting late."

"Why would he still talk to his father after everything he did?" Severus sighed and sat down on the rock next to me.

"I can't pretend to understand what is going on inside of Draco's head, but I imagine it's hard to give up your family no matter what they've done."

"But he's a rapist and a murderer."

"He's also his father." Like that explained so much. If my father was a rapist and a murderer, I am sure I wouldn't be able to love him just because. "Come on Harry."

I followed him slowly inside, not ready to see Draco. I'm sure if we talked now, it would only be more arguing which is something our relationship doesn't need.

"You should go to dinner before you miss it."

"Where are you going then?"

"To my office, I have work to complete." I knew it would be stupid to even ask, but I did it nonetheless.

"Can I come?" He hesitated for a minute before nodding.

"Very well." I followed him down into the dungeons. There were no students around, considering they were all at dinner, but I still felt nervous. I felt guilty for spending time with Severus alone, knowing it would upset Draco, but I didn't want to go into the Great Hall with everyone right now.

We got to his office, where he immediately got to work. I just sat at the chair adjacent from his desk and watched, not really in the mood to do anything. I began to replay my conversation with Draco over and over in my head and suddenly got a little curious.

"Sev, do you miss me?" He stopped working for just a second and looked up at me.

"Yes." Then he went back to work once again.

"I miss you too." He didn't even acknowledge that I said anything as he continued on. "I hate not being able to come and see you. I wish we could still be friends." I paused for a while, realizing Severus was not going to extend this topic. "What do you think Lucius will do?"

"I'm not sure, but I'm guessing it won't be pleasant." His voice said he wasn't too worried about it, but his eyes were telling a very different story.

"Are you worried?" He didn't answer. "You can talk to me, even if were not still together, you can always trust me. I promise you that."

"It's getting late." He said in a tone that was letting me know to drop it, so I did. I didn't bother to have a long drawn out goodbye, even if I did want to postpone heading back to my room. As I made my way out into the hallway, Draco was standing just outside the door.

"I knew you would run to him."

"Draco, it's not like that. We were just talking." He just shook his head and began to walk down the hallway. "I swear! It was nothing, I promise you."

"That's not the point Harry! You could of went to anyone. Granger or one of your precious Weasley's. But no, it's him."

"I didn't go to him, we just sort of ran into each other."

"You ran into each other in his private office?" He asked skeptically, and I just sighed loudly. I was just too frustrated to have another fight with Draco in such a short time frame. "You know what, I don't even know why I believed anything you've said to me."

"I wasn't lying to you. I love you."

"Maybe," I went to declare myself again, but he continued. "But you love him too. I don't think I can deal with that, I'm sorry, but I just can't. It's not enough for me."

"Don't do this, please, I'm begging you."

"Tell me you don't love him. Tell me the truth." But I couldn't do both of those. The truth was that I did love Severus. It was too soon for me not too. But I loved Draco, and I wasn't about to let it end like this.

"I don't love him." I lied easily, knowing it was the only way to keep him in my life. "I care for him, I do, but it is nothing like the way I feel for you."

"How can I believe you?"

"Did you ever once doubt that I didn't love you? After everything we've been through, how could I not love you? You are the greatest thing in my life, and I wouldn't be able to go on without you. Please, just trust me."

He didn't say anything, but sat deep in thought. I was aware I was beginning to sweat, and tears were streaming down my face, but I remained silent. After a few minutes, that felt like hours, he came over to me and began to wipe the tears away from my face.

"I can't have you be friends with him. I just can't. It's the only way I'll be able to trust you. I need to know he's out of your life." I didn't want to do as he asked, but I knew there was no other way. I knew the moment I chose to spend my life with Draco that Severus would have to be shut out of my life, and now it looks like that time has come. So I nodded my head and Draco leaned in to kiss me.

I knew it would be hard to completely avoid talking to Severus. I did feel compelled to talk to him whenever upset. I guess because he was one of the few people I confessed most of my darkest secrets too, other than Draco. I could always talk to Draco, but when my problems involved him, I would be left in the dark.

Of course, I wasn't counting on an invitation to the headmaster's office the next morning, which in the end, would make it much easier to avoid the man. When Dumbledore beckoned me inside after only knocking once, I opened the door to find a few unexpected people. Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge and none other than one Lucius Malfoy. I knew this couldn't be good.

"Please, have a seat." The headmaster suggested and I obliged, although not averting my eyes from the corner of the room Lucius stood in. "Harry, I've asked you here today because there is a very serious accusation being thrown around which involves you. No need to worry, you aren't in any trouble. The Minster here would just like to ask a few questions is all. I just ask that you answer honestly. Can you do that?"

"Yes, of course Professor." I answered, immediately knowing what this was about, and there was no way I was going to be answering honestly. I concentrated on my occlumency and shielded all of my emotions. I could only hope it wasn't legal for the Minster to use veritaserum.

"Now, Mr. Potter," The Minster spoke up after politely nodding to Dumbledore. "It was brought to my attention that you have formed a romantic relationship with one of the Professor's here at Hogwarts."

"What?" I asked in shock, "Why would I be in a relationship with a teacher?"

"He's lying!" Lucius spat from the corner, almost looking as if he was going to attempt to murder me in front of both these powerful men. "I have proof." He said as he pulled a piece of parchment from his cloak.

"Now now, calm down Lucius. Give him a chance to explain." Fudge took the parchment from Lucius, but did not open it. "So you are not in a relationship with Severus Snape?"

"No, I'm engaged to be married," I turned to look at Lucius, "You know that. After all, you are going to be my father-in-law." The man narrowed his eyes at me, looking completely enraged. The thought of me being related to this man sickened me, but it was too good an opportunity to pass up.

"Yes, well your close relationship with the Malfoy family is why we are taking the accusation more serious than we normally would. This letter," he began to open the parchment he took from Lucius a moment ago, "which was addressed to Lucius, from Young Master Malfoy, states that you formed a relationship with Severus Snape while your fiancée was in a coma for six months. It goes into complete detail about a conversation that you and Mr. Malfoy allegedly had about the relationship in question. Go on, read it."

He handed me the paper, which I read silently. The letter did indeed divulge very private conversations I had with Draco over the winter break. The writing was unmistakably his, and I was very hurt, but tried my best not to show it.

"None of this is true. Draco would never write this. This must be fabricated." I sounded so sure of myself, I almost fooled myself.

"Very well, I guess we'll just have to ask Mr. Malfoy himself. Would you mind Dumbledore?" The Minster asked. Dumbledore then rose up, wrote a quick note, and then handed it to Fawkes, who disappeared in a flash of bright flames.

"It should only be a moment." Sure enough, in about ten minutes time, Draco was knocking on the door. I know he tried his best not to look shocked by seeing his father once again, but was failing miserably at it.

"Father, what are you doing here?" He stammered on, but Lucius said nothing.

"Now, Mr. Malfoy," The Minster started, ignoring giving him any type of explanation and shoving the letter into his hands. "Did you write this letter?" Draco looked at it wide eyed, and I knew it would be incredibly difficult for him to lie believably with his father in the room. That is if he was willing to lie anyway. "Well, answer me."

"I've never seen this before." He answered lamely, but I was thankful nonetheless. For a moment, I thought he would actually let Severus lose his job over revenge.

"Nonsense Draco. You sent me this letter just before Christmas. Don't lie to the Minster." Lucius tried to intimidate him, but it only seemed to make him stronger.

"I don't know who wrote your father, but it wasn't me. I haven't even spoke to you since the night of my accident." This time he did sound believable. The Minster and Lucius had a short argument by themselves before Dumbledore convinced them to let us go about our way. When we got far away from the office I smiled at Draco.

"Thanks for doing that. I know you don't like Snape much, but it was good of you not to let him lose his job over everything."

"I didn't do it for Snape, and I certainly didn't do it for you either." I was hurt by his comment, but also very confused. Who else would he do it for? "You think I want the whole school knowing my finance ran off and started fucking that piece of trash while I was stuck in a coma protecting him. Do you know how that would make me look? Especially taking you back afterwards. I'd look more pathetic than you are. No thanks."

"Draco?" I asked hesitantly. I knew we were fighting yesterday, but I was sure we were okay at the end of the day once I agreed to no longer speak to Severus. But now, it seems I was wrong. "Are you okay?"

"Am I okay? God damn it Harry. I have seen may father twice in the past two days, and each time I've had to talk about you and Snape. Then you have the nerve to thank me for protecting him. No I'm not okay with the fact that your first concern is Snape and not me. Having you even bothered to ask how seeing my father affects me? No you don't. All you care about is him."

"That's not true. I tried talking about your father and all it did was lead to an argument, I was just trying to avoid it."

"Avoid talking to me about anything that matters, you mean? How do you expect to be my husband if you can't even talk to me?"

"I just don't want to fight with you. I feel like thats all we do anymore. I just want us to be happy." He snorted a little as he chuckled.

"You know what Harry, I don't know if we'll ever be happy together. Maybe were just not meant to be."

The words stung so hard in my chest, I couldn't even reply before he walked away. I just stood there and cried, hoping beyond hope that he would turn around and help me breath again.

–

–

**Oh man! Not again! Lol I know, I'm evil.**

**Don't forget to review! **

**..or face my wrath! **


	16. Snape's Lover

**Snape's Lover**

I spent the rest of my morning wallowing in the common room. Ron and Hermione sat with me as I explained everything that happened. Ron listened, nodding and agreeing with me, but Hermione just had an uneasy look about her.

"I see your point Harry, really I do, but from an outsiders viewpoint, it seems more as if Professor Snape is your boyfriend, and not Draco." Ron just shrugged as Hermione voiced her opinion, which I took as him agreeing with her but not willing to say it.

"Why? Because I care about him and don't want him to lose his job?"

"No, well yes sort of, it's just you seem to care more about that then about Draco."

"All he wants to talk about is his father. I can't even pretend to be okay with him talking to his father."

"Well, you did know who his family was when you two got engaged, so you should have known this was going to happen. I mean, he will be your family if you marry Draco."

"Lucius Malfoy will never be my family." I said sternly.

"Then I guess you don't want to marry Draco."

"Yes I plan on marrying Draco, but that doesn't mean we have to let that psycho into our lives."

"He's already a huge part of Draco's life. You can't just expect him to give up all ties with his family, can you?"

"When they're murderers, then yeah, I expect him to cut off ties." Which Ron added a quick nod in agreement with. "I thought you would agree with me Hermione, especially after everything, um, that the Malfoy's did." I really didn't feel comfortable talking about Lucius raping Hermione to her face. Just the thought of it made me anxious.

"Listen, I am all for making sure Lucius Malfoy spends the rest of his life in Azkaban, but I don't plan on marrying into the family. So if you do, I would suck it up and talk to Draco about it and see what he expects. Then you can decide on whether you can live with it or not."

I didn't like the idea of having to tolerate Lucius Malfoy, especially after what he did to Hermione. But I knew that I wanted to spend my life with Draco, but was I really willing to accept his father into my life, even in the slightest capacity?

Even though I wasn't hungry, I allowed Ron and Hermione to drag me to lunch, knowing Draco would be there. I had to apologize for ignoring his feelings. Even though I could not agree with him about Lucius, I could at least listen to what he says and try and respect his feelings. But when I walked into the Great Hall, Draco wasn't there.

I stayed for fifteen minutes, waiting for him to make an entrance, but it never happened. I was about to storm off and go searching for him, when Dumbledore made his way towards me.

"Harry, I was wondering if you could join me in my office?" As much as I wanted to go find Draco, I knew I couldn't refuse the Headmaster, especially after lying to the Minster for me. But I guess it was saving himself just as much as he saved myself and Severus. Either way, I couldn't say no. I nodded and began to follow him.

No other words were spoken on the way. We received a few odd glances from students we passed, most probably assuming I was in some sort of trouble. When we were finally in private, he began to talk immediately.

"Lucius Malfoy's vendetta for Severus and yourself isn't going to go away. It seems he has convinced Fudge to do a full investigation on Severus, which will require Ministry officials to be stationed at Hogwarts."

"But this is your school, can't you just refuse them?"

"I'm afraid that that will only do more harm then good. If the press finds out I'm refusing to cooperate with an investigation of a student teacher relationship, Severus will be as good as guilty to the eyes of most, including many parents, which you could imagine their reactions." I nodded my head slowly, knowing the man was right.

"But I mean, they won't find anything now, so it's not too big a deal, right?"

"Surely, but I do have some worries. First off, I will have to put an end to your lessons with Severus. I don't wish to have you give up studying that book of course, so I will fit it into my schedule so you can practice with me." I simply nodded. "I'll have to ask that you do not speak to Severus accept during classes, at least until the investigation is over." I nodded again. I was a little upset that my only alone time with Severus was now non-existent, but maybe this is what I needed. Maybe this is the only way for me to truly get over him so I could put all my energy into making things right with Draco.

"There is one more thing Harry." His tone changed which suddenly made me very nervous. "It's about Draco."

"Sir?" I asked confused. I wasn't about to discuss my relationship problems with the old man no matter how much I respected him.

"I know he is a big part of your life, but I must ask that you do not share everything with him, especially things involving the order. I'm sure he did not intend for this to happen when he was writing that letter to Lucius, but it only proves how much of a danger him having information can be."

"I don't tell him things about the order." Which was mostly true. The only thing he knew about it was that I was studying the book, but considering Voldemort already knows about the book, that news couldn't hurt anyone.

"I'm glad to hear that, but for future reference, use caution when revealing things to him." Normally I get offended when they talk about Draco like this. I hated when he was compared to his father so much. He may bare the Dark Mark on his arm, but I did too, and Draco wasn't anymore of a Death Eater than I am. But then I thought about the letter he wrote to his father, and all the personal details he had said. How many more letters were there like that? What else did Lucius know because of Draco?

When I left Dumbledore's office, my thoughts were so jumbled together, I almost forgot that I was going to look for Draco. After interrogated a few second year Slytherin's, I was assured he was not in the common room or his room. I decided the next best spot would be outside by the lake.

I got to the spot that Draco and I usually would spend the warmer days by, but was disappointed. I had no idea where he could be. But then I turned my head and saw him walking in the distance, and he wasn't alone. He was with his father. All rational thought left me as I began to run towards them, with no plan of what I was going to say or do.

"What are you doing Harry?" Draco asked me as I stood there, out of breath, from sprinting up to them. I felt like such an idiot. I had no idea what I was doing.

"I just had to talk to you."

"Well go on then," Lucius drawled. "I'm dying to know what was so important." But I had no words, I just stared at them both with a dumb expression on my face. "Honestly Draco, I don't get what you could possibly see in this boy."

"Father.." Draco said timidly, "Maybe I should walk you to the gate now."

"We're not finished." The man said warningly, which had Draco automatically looking at his feet, and it suddenly gave me some courage. I hated how he could do that to him, it wasn't right.

"I think you are." I said bravely staring at the older Malfoy.

"Oh, do you? Listen Potter, you won't be around much longer so it doesn't really matter what you think. I won't stop until you and Severus are out of Hogwarts, and I'll delivery you to the Dark Lord personally, so I can watch you die." Draco immediately flinched and began to walk closer to me, as if looking for protection. "Draco, what are you doing?"

"Looks to me as if he's seeing sense." I said smirking, causing Lucius to growl.

"Draco, we'll talk another time, when there aren't any," he glared at me one last time, "interruptions." He then turned away and left while we both watched in silence.

"Draco.." He looked up at me with sad eyes as I said his name. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For not trying to understand what you've been going through with your father."

"I never asked you to understand it. I just wanted you to talk to me, and maybe actually pretend to care." He seemed to get his confidence back now that his father was gone.

"I do care about you."

"Yeah, right. You care about me." He said sarcastically. I tried to reach out to him and show him that he was wrong but he took a step back.

"You mean more to me than anyone else. I just let my own hatred of your father get in the way. I just couldn't understand, but I'm here to listen now, if it's not too late that is." He smiled and reached out his hand which I took gratefully. "So.." I was so happy Draco had forgiven me that I didn't have a clue what to say. He seemed to understand and just pulled me closer to him.

"He was trying to convince me to break things off with you. Said you would leave me for Snape if I didn't."

"I wouldn't.."

"I know you wouldn't." The short comment made me more happy than anything. Draco actually trusted me.

I felt like I was on top of the world for the rest of the day. Although I was sure we'd face troubled times again, especially with Lucius in our lives, but everything was perfect just then. I knew we would be able to make it through anything that was thrown at us.

All of our issues with Severus would end with time, but now I was focusing on getting through this investigation without putting anymore stress on my relationship with Draco.

During Potions the next day, a short plump man sat in the corner with a Ministry work badge attached to the front of his robes. I tried my best not to look over at him, not that it would look suspicious, but everyone seemed to be looking at him. The class, in fear from Severus obviously, never said anything about his presence, but I knew they were all curious. Sure enough, by mid-afternoon, rumors were already started.

"I heard from my father, who works at the Ministry, that Snape was in a relationship with a student!" Jeremy Neilson, a fifth year Gryffindor said during dinner, cause the girls surrounding him to burst into a fit of giggles.

"Who would be crazy enough to be with Professor Snape?" Lavender Brown asked, causing Parvati to giggle even more. "Clearly she must be crazy."

"Or maybe he used a love potion, he is the Potion's teacher, he would know exactly what to use!" Another girl suggested. "I wonder who she is!"

"What makes you so sure it's a girl?" That was Ginny. I honestly couldn't believe her. I shot her the dirtiest look I could manage before pretending I wasn't interested in their conversation. Of course no one noticed it because they were two busy laughing and speculating which guy would be crazy enough to be in a relationship with Severus.

I was so angry for Ginny putting the idea in everyone's head. After her comment, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that Severus was gay and had indeed formed a relationship with a student, presumably by love potion.

When I confronted her about it she just shrugged it off, saying no one would suspect me, and even if they did, I shouldn't be ashamed. Of course I wasn't ashamed of my relationship with Severus, but Draco would be if everyone found out. Besides I really didn't need any more media attention than I already received.

I felt terrible for Severus. He had to go through this torture because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. On many occasions I've wanted to apologize to him, but there was no chance for me to even get a word in without being watched.

But each day, I pretended as if nothing was bothering me. Draco seemed to embrace public displays of affection to the fullest extent in some attempt to stray people from thinking I was indeed Snape's lover. This wouldn't bother me, except for the fact that when we were alone together, I could hardly get him to hold my hand. He wouldn't tell me, but I was sure the constant reminder that I was in a relationship with Severus was killing him.

I didn't want to venture into those waters, but when he refused to let me spend the night in his dorm room (again!), I had to say something.

"How come you never want to spend time with me anymore?"

"You're joking right?" He laughed, "We spend all day together except for when I have lessons. Just because I don't want you to risk getting caught in my dorm doesn't mean I don't want to spend time with you. It's one night."

"But it's not just one night, or one day for that matter. The only time you touch me anymore is if someone's watching."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is! You're all over me whenever someone's around, and then the second were alone you treat me as if I'm contagious." He just smiled and pulled me into a hug.

"You really need to learn to control your hormones, Potter." He was still laughing, but I didn't really find any of this amusing. "You know, I wasn't doing that intentionally. I just thought I was helping you, with this stupid investigation. I guess I just stopped when were alone. Give us a break so we can just be us."

"So are you saying that the 'real us' can't be affectionate?" I asked hurt by his statement.

"Trust me, I love being, uh, affectionate." He laughed again at the poor euphemism. "But there is just so much going on right now. I just don't really feel up for it."

"Oh." I didn't like the idea that this whole thing was putting Draco off from having sex with me, but there wasn't much I could do but be supportive to how he felt. He must have picked up on my animosity, because he said the best thing he could right then.

"How bout next Saturday? Me. You. Alone for the whole day. Get away from the castle and just be together. What do you say?"

"You bet." I said happily and he gave me a big kiss goodnight before I headed upstairs. It was the first time I felt good since the moment I saw Lucius Malfoy in Hogsmeade ten days ago. Even if he decided to show up right now, I'm not sure if he could deflate my mood. So when I walked into the common room to be welcomed by a sudden silence, I just quirked my eyebrow in curiosity. I went over to where Ron was sitting, awkwardly away from everyone, and waited for everyone to pretend they weren't looking at us.

"So what's the deal?" I asked loudly and Ron immediately shushed me before leaning in to whisper.

"I don't know how they found out. I swear I never told anyone Harry, you know that right?"

"Tell anybody what? What are you talking about?" I was beginning to get a little worried by the look on Ron's face.

"About Snape. They all know it was you."

–

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**A/N: I know this update was late, but I had trouble getting my ideas on paper (you know how that is sometimes) But anywho, enjoy the update, and review..or die.**


	17. Friends and Lovers

**Friends and Lovers**

Ever since the moment Ron told me that everyone knew it was me who was in the secret relationship with our Potions Professor, life has been miserable. It seemed like the whole school found out at the same time, and I had no idea how anyone found out. For all I knew, they just guessed.

I continued to deny it whenever someone was brave enough to ask me if it was true. Ron did the same. A few people believed me, some assumed it was just a crazy rumor, but others were sure it was true.

I could deal with the whispers whenever I walked into the room, and the constant staring. I was use to that. But Draco and Severus were another story.

Draco flipped out if anyone even attempted to mention it in his presence, so most people didn't. Severus, unfortunately, didn't get this luxury because of the ministry official watching his every move. But during Potions today, he seemed to forget about this and let all his anger out.

We were brewing a simple blood replenishing potion, (Severus insisted it was simple anyway), and he was walking around checking on everyone's progress. When he got to Ernie Macmillan's cauldron he peered over from behind him.

"Whoa! Watch it Professor, I'm not gay! Potter's over there!" He commented about his close proximity, causing the entire class to burst into laughter, excluding Draco, Hermione, and myself of course.

"Detention for a week and fifty points from Hufflepuff!" Ernie was outraged and the Ministry official began writing on his notepad frantically.

"For not being interested in you? That isn't fair!" He cried. "Besides I don't feel comfortable being alone with you for a whole week. You might try and take advantage of me."

"If you hold even the slightest amount of intelligence Mr. Macmillan, I would hold that tongue of yours."

"Excuse me, Professor Snape," the ministry official now stood up to put his two cents in. "This young man has done nothing worthy of such punishment."

"It's none of your business how I punish my students." He said scowling at the man. Anyone could see that he was using all restraint to keep himself from pulling out his wand and hexing the man where he stood.

"Actually..." the man tried to continue but was cut off by Severus addressing the rest of the class, quite angrily.

"Class is dismissed, place your potion's vile on my desk."

"But we haven't had enough time to finish," Hermione said of course, deeply upset at the prospect of handing in unfinished work.

"NOW!" Severus yelled causing everyone to do what he said as quickly as possible.

Although we didn't hear what he had to say to the other man, shouting could be heard all throughout the hallways until we climbed the stairs out of the dungeons. I explained everything to Ron later that evening. Since Draco spent most of his nights taking make up lessons, I usually spent my nights with Ron in out common room.

"Maybe once this investigations over, people will forget about it." He offered as a consolation, even though I wasn't sure if people would ever forget.

"If it's ever over." I groaned, "I wonder how everyone even found out."

"Well who all knew?"

"Just you two," I said referring to him and Hermione, who suddenly joined us. "Draco, obviously, Ginny, your parents, Remus, and Dumbledore."

"Well I think it's fair to say my parents didn't say anything. Lupin and Dumbledore too. Do you think Draco might have told someone?"

"No, he's more upset about people finding out than I am. He wouldn't have told anyone. I'm sure of it."

"I didn't say anything, mate, I swear!" Ron said with worry in his voice. I knew I could trust Ron. He was the first person to find out about me and Severus' relationship, and he kept it a secret even when we weren't talking. He had no reason to start telling people now.

"I know you didn't." He sighed in relief.

"Do you think it might have been Ginny? I mean she did let it slip out that it was a guy, maybe she did."

"Yeah, maybe." I didn't want to believe it was Ginny, but she seemed the most likely candidate. She was never too keen on the whole relationship from the moment she heard about it. Then after I confronted her about what she said at lunch that day, she got very defensive. Maybe she was dying to let someone know.

"I don't think it was Ginny." Hermione said timidly, which got me thinking maybe she knew more than she was letting on. Apparently Ron seemed to think so too.

"How would you know Hermione?" Ron asked accusingly, and I silently agreed with him.

"I just don't think she did it, is all."

"You're trying to protect her, aren't you?" Shot Ron causing Hermione to look down shyly. "It was her, and you know it!"

"I can't believe it." I was angry, but I didn't sound it, especially not compared to Ron. "I thought we were good friends, why would she do this to me? Especially after everything I've been through with Draco."

"Right! She's suppose to be your best friend, well besides us! Why would she do that? We have to get her back! Curse her!"

"I don't know about that..." Yes I was mad, but I still don't think I could curse Ginny.

"Oh come on, she deserves it and you know it!"

"Maybe, but were not even sure it was her." I said lamely. It was so very obvious now.

"Who else could it be? It has got to be her!" Ron stood up and began looking around the common room, presumably for Ginny, but she wasn't in sight. "Where is she?"

"Ron!" Hermione tried to pull him back down into his seat but he shrugged her off.

"Stop trying to protect her Mione! She deserves to be cursed after doing this to Harry."

"Ron, it wasn't her!" She began to yell before looking back down at the ground. "I know it wasn't, because it was me." Ron shut up immediately and stared at Hermione as if it was the first time he ever saw her.

"What?" I asked in disbelief. I couldn't believe Hermione would be the one to blab my secret to everyone.

"I'm sorry Harry. It was an accident really. I was just talking with a friend, and they brought it up, and it slipped. I didn't think they would say anything."

"Who's this friend?" I asked curious. It wasn't like Hermione to accidentally let information slip. I was even beginning to wonder if she was lying to me now.

"Ernie." She said quietly. Well that certainly explained the incident in Potions. If he heard it straight from Hermione, he was sure to believe it.

"Macmillan?" Ron asked in shock. "Since when are you friends with him? I've never even seen you talk to him, and now your good friends who you tell your _real_ best friend's secrets to." Ron was saying everything I was thinking, so I felt no reason to intervene. But then my mind flashed back to a conversation I had with Draco.

–

_"….but with all the rumors going to about her and the Weaslette, I thought it might have something to do with that."_

_"What are you talking about?" _

_"You haven't heard?...Oh well, according to pretty much everyone, they've been fucking the whole school."_

_"What?"_

_"Yeah, I even asked Weasley about it, and she didn't deny it. Just kept ranting about how it was none of my business, so I let it drop."_

_"It can't be true. I know them, they would never do anything like that."_

–

But how well did I know Hermione any more? It wasn't a secret that most of my life revolved around Draco, and even Severus at times. But have I been so neglectful of my friends, that I didn't even notice something as big as that? If Hermione really was doing those things, I'm not sure if she really was dealing with what happened last year.

Whatever the circumstances were, I was still angry at her and couldn't even try to ask her about any of this now. Writing a mental note to bring it up at another time, I just shook my head at her and made my way up to the dormitories. Ron followed me shortly where he continued to rant about Hermione once again. I was only half listening though, willing myself to sleep so I could try and forget about this day. Tomorrow was Saturday, so I would get the whole day alone with Draco.

We decided to spend our day in the shrieking shack. It wasn't the nicest of places, but it was the one that we were sure we could get to safely without being interrupted. The place brought back a lot of memories for me, mostly of Sirius.

My life would be so much different if he was still alive. He would of probably supported my relationship with Draco right from the start. He knew just because your family was Dark, didn't mean you were. He would understand it completely and would have stopped anyone from trying to stop us. I'm sure of it. But then again, when it came to Severus, he would have probably killed him the moment he found out.

I found myself getting upset with him, which was completely ridiculous, so I turned my attention to the boy sitting next to me.

"Notice I was here, have you?" He laughed lightly and pushed himself closer to me so I could wrap my arms around him. "What's on your mind?"

"Sirius. This was where we met."

"Oh right. Maybe we should go somewhere else." I just shook my head. "You sure? Because I plan on doing some pretty nasty things to you, I wouldn't want to ruin the memories."

"Is that right?" He leaned forward to kiss me, straddling my thighs in the process. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Is it that important?" He asked before he kissed me, successfully taking my breath away. "Didn't think so."

"Wait. Seriously, If I don't ask you now, I'll forget." He just laughed as he began to cover me in light kisses, enticing my arousal.

"Well go on then..."

"Remember when you were talking about those rumors about Hermione and Ginny?" He answered me with a low hum I assumed meant yes. "Well I was just wondering how you heard about that?" He groaned, obviously not wanting to talk about any of this right now.

"Goyle told me." I gestured for him to continue. "He said they came to the Slytherin Christmas party."

"Christmas party?" He slid off of my lap and sat next to me, clearly unhappy.

"Every year before the holidays the sixth and seventh years hold a party for the sole purpose of getting drunk and sleeping with girls. You don't exactly get invited unless you have a reputation to please. I just assumed if they were there, then you know, but if you say they wouldn't, then they wouldn't. I trust you over any of them."

"Oh, well.."

"Come one Harry. Today was suppose to be about getting away from all that drama that is Hogwarts. Now all you wanna talk about is your girlfriends?" I pulled on him and made sure he fell right into my lap again.

"Sorry. We can talk about this later." He smiled before leaning in to resume his earlier ministrations.

Five hours later, completely sated, we decided to head back into the castle for dinner. We did bring a few snacks with us, but they didn't last past two, so we had to go. I didn't feel like leaving Draco very long, so I ate as quickly as possible so we could meet up once again in the entrance hall. Draco walked up to me holding a rather large muffin.

"Unfortunately I have some table manners, so I couldn't finish as quick as you do."

"I have table manners!" He just rolled his eyes at me, but I shrugged. "I was hungry."

"Wanna head back to my room?" I was happy to finally be invited into his room that I began sprinting down to the dungeons before he could change his mind. We just got to the bottom of the steps when I heard a girl shriek my name. I turned suddenly to see the girl, whose name I didn't know, run down the stairs holding a rolled up piece of parchment.

"Harry Potter, I was told to give this to you." She handed it over while panting, clearly out of breath from keeping up with us.

"What is it?" Draco asked as I read the letter.

"Dumbledore. He wants me to come to his office tonight for a lesson." I said gloomily. Figures my one day alone with Draco would be ruined. Draco just smiled.

"Go. I'll be here when you get back. Promise."

"Really? You'll wait?" He nodded while rolling his eyes. I gave him another quick kiss before turning around to head towards Dumbledore's office. I walked in to find Dumbledore waiting for me.

"Glad you could make it Harry. I've been looking over your notes, and I think it's about time we put these spells to practical use."

"What?"

"Well we have to try them out eventually, or they won't be much use to you, now will they?"

"But after last time sir, I didn't think you would want to." The man nearly chuckled while getting up from his desk carrying Slytherin's book and my notes of translation I compiled in the past year.

"Last time you tested them out in rather uncontrolled circumstances. I've been looking over these notes for a while and am certain I have the correct counter curse, if necessary. This one in particular looks like it would be very useful." He handed me the sheet which I remembered right away. The spell was used to link two people in ways to group their magic together.

"You want to link your magic to me?" I asked in disbelief.

"Temporarily. But I do believe it might help you a lot when the time comes." Which was absolutely right. If I fought Voldemort with Dumbledore's magic bind to me, I would stand a fair chance. Hey, I might even have an advantage. "Alright, let's give it a try?"

"Right now?"

"I'm not getting any younger." I reread the spell again in my head. I didn't feel right about performing something like this on Dumbledore, but I didn't have much of a choice in the matter. I stood across from him and said the words as they were written. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't nothing.

"Did it work?" I asked the headmaster.

"Well why don't we try it out." He conjured a large cushion directly behind me. "I'm going to stun you Harry. You try and repel it. Ready?" I was reminded of my time in Dumbledore's Army. It was a little intimidating having your dueling partner be as powerful as the man that stood before me though, but I stood ready.

I saw the spell leave his wand, which I quickly tried to stop it, but it was no use. I suddenly became extremely grateful that the headmaster conjured that pillow just before because I was sure to land on it any moment. As the spell landed in the center of my chest, I fell backwards, into unconsciousness, and the last thing I saw was Dumbledore doing the same.

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	18. Goodnight

**Goodnight**

I woke up with an aching headache. I tried to open my eyes but the lighting in the room was much too bright. I finally braved it when the light seemed to dim from underneath my eyelids. When I looked up, Severus was standing over me.

"Sev.." I groaned but then noticed that we weren't exactly alone. The Minister of Magic was just a few feet away standing over Dumbledore. "Professor Snape," I changed my tone but it did not go unnoticed to Fudge.

"Mind telling me what happened Potter?" He asked but I didn't answer.

"Just a little mishap Severus, no worries. I was just teaching Harry how to strengthen his shield charm, seems I underestimated my own strength." The Headmaster stated while getting up. No one seemed to believe him, but they weren't about to question him either. "What can I do for you Cornelius?"

"Well I was going to tell you our investigation wielded no results, and by law we are forced to put an end to it."

"Was? Surely nothing has happened in the last few minutes to make you think otherwise." Dumbledore managed to say this so sternly that the Minister had no room for argument.

"If another accusation arrives, I won't fail to return."

"Of course not, but I'm happy to say that I doubt that shall happen," The Minister looked as if he was about to protest, "I know you're a busy man. I wouldn't want to keep you, and I know you have papers to grade Severus."

Both men could see that he was politely kicking them out of his office. Severus didn't seem to care as he made his way to the door. Fudge stood their dumbfounded by the rudeness but made his way just a few seconds after.

"Well Harry, things didn't go as expected."

"What exactly happened?"

"It seems instead of connecting our magic, it merely connected us. We must be sure it is not active any longer, or tragedy may occur. I'm going to hit you with a simple cheering charm, do not attempt to block me. Ready?"

Dumbledore was silent, as usual, but I could feel an overwhelming amount of emotions flowing through me. I was happy. I looked over at the Headmaster to see if he felt the same but I couldn't tell. He looked like he always did.

"It seems that it has ended properly. We will have to study this spell more thoroughly, it may just come in handy."

"How will this be any good? So when Voldemort kills me, he can kill you too?"

"No, you misunderstand me. It would be of good use if you connect yourself with Voldemort."

"Oh." Reality dawned on. Dumbledore wanted me to connect myself to Voldemort so when he killed me, I could take him with me. I didn't like the prospect of having to give my life, but it was my duty to rid the world of this monster, and I would do what I must. "I'll do it, sir."

"Harry, again, I think you misunderstand me. I would never ask you to sacrifice yourself. If I'm correct, I believe Voldemort will know exactly what this spell does once you cast it."

"Well that what good will it do?" I spat, beginning to get a little angry. I'm so tired of his vague descriptions.

"It would be vital for your protection. Voldemort fears death above all things, if he knew killing you meant an end to his own life, he wouldn't make an attempt."

That was the most I got out of him. For the first time, I was sure Dumbledore had no idea what he was talking about. The only reason he knew what the spell I used last year did was because of Draco. He read Draco's mind and got that little piece of information.

I wouldn't make the same mistake this time. When I got to the Slytherin dorms and slipped into bed with Draco, I didn't mention the spell. I just told him it was another dull lesson with me reading and translating just like with Snape.

My great day with Draco, plus the effects of Dumbledore's cheering charm, made thoughts of Voldemort seem trivial. I didn't have to worry about that now. And by the sound of things, the stupid Ministry investigation is over. So hopefully rumors that me and Severus were in a relationship will die down.

--

"Good morning." Draco greeted me as I pulled myself off of his pillow, wiping the drool from my mouth.

"Ugh, can't we just stay here all day." I moaned, not wanting to go out into the hallways and listen to the constant whispers all day.

"Well, It is Sunday. No classes, plenty of free time to study." He said with a smirk on his face as he leaned in to kiss me.

"Study, huh? Let me just brush my teeth." I jumped out of bed, grabbing my bag on the way. I've made it a habit to carry morning essentials with me so I could spend my nights with Draco at a moments notice.

I was washing my face when the door opened. I turned expecting to see Draco standing there, but it was Blaise. Although we were spending a lot of time together as friends before Draco woke, we haven't seen much of each other lately.

Maybe it was the jealous tendencies Draco held last year, or just lack of time on my part, but this was the first time I've spoken to him alone since.

"So I've been thinking.." He said like he was holding some big secret no one knew but him. I couldn't pretend I wasn't interested.

"About?"

"Well, if you remember a few months ago I told you about a rumor going on." He smirked wildly. "A rumor about us dating."

I had no idea where he was going with this, but I nodded nonetheless.

"Of course, we both knew that there was no truth to this. But for some reason when I approached you, you seemed to blow it off saying you didn't care what people thought. I can't say I didn't find that strange. I wasn't about to question it though, because the truth it, I sort of enjoyed that rumor." He said with a wink.

"Are you going to get to a point anytime soon?"

"Well, I didn't give it much thought before, but with all the new rumors going around, I've been wondering. If you were sleeping with Snape, you obviously wouldn't want anyone to know. But surely your friends would wonder where you spend all your time. So naturally when people start to suspect you as my boyfriend, you can just let the rumor run without actually lying to your friends. Awfully convenient for you."

I was actually shocked. Blaise figured out everything and I was stunned speechless. I knew I was only confirming everything he said with my silence, but I had nothing to say.

"I promise I won't say anything. Besides, I hear the whole investigations over anyway. But I do have one question if you don't mind."

"What's that?"

"How much of this does Draco know?" I bit my lip not sure how to answer. I didn't want to make it look like I was keeping a huge secret like this from Draco, but I also knew the truth would embarrass him.

"Blaise. Please don't." I pleaded with him instead. "I can't talk about this."

"Sure Harry. I won't bring it up again." Then he left the bathroom. I didn't know what to think of Blaise knowing the truth about me and Severus, but I tried to put it behind me as I went back into bed with Draco.

When Draco said we would be studying, I didn't think we would actually be studying, but here I am sitting next to him with a book in my hand.

"This is boring." Draco just smiled but didn't take his eyes off the book he was reading. "What are you reading anyway?" I snatched up the book and a bunch of loose pamphlets fell out of it. I reached down, grabbing a handful and almost choked on my tongue from laughing so hard. Women in bridal gowns graced all the covers.

"Give those back!" Draco said defensively. I tried to hold them out of his reach, but unfortunately he's much taller than me.

"You are such a girl!" I was still laughing, even though I was beginning to lose my breath. "I'm not marrying you if you plan on wearing a dress!"

"That's not all it is. For your information I was just looking for some ideas for our honeymoon, but I won't bother." He said smugly, acting as of he didn't mind that I took his pamphlets away. I glanced them over quickly, boring myself before handing them back to him.

"Here, I don't want these things." He ripped them from my hands and enclosed them in his book.

"How about Montreal?"

"What?"

"For our honeymoon. How do you feel about Montreal?"

"Oh, um," I didn't know what to say. I couldn't even begin to plan out a honeymoon. "Isn't Montreal cold?"

The majority of our day consisted of constant back and forth bickering about wedding plans. It seemed a little odd to be planning something that probably would never even exist.

A small part of me could pretend it was all real. Come graduation, I would be married to Draco in the company of our friends. We'd run off somewhere, even Montreal, and spend two weeks of nothing but making love and eating in bed.

But the realist in me was afraid I would die before I even had a chance to do any of those things. It wasn't fair. How come I had to deal with these things? Why couldn't I just run off and do what I wanted for a change?

They were all wonderful thoughts, but I knew I would never do it. I couldn't abandon the wizarding world. It was the first place that opened up to me, the Daily Prophet aside. This was my home, and I had to protect it, even if that meant giving my life.

By lunch time, we were both starving and headed to the Great Hall. We had to separate to head to our separate house tables. I went over and sat next to Ron. Hermione sat just two seats down, looking thoroughly depressed. I watched her for a minute, but then she looked up at me.

"Harry." She said as if she just noticed I was there. "Can we talk?"

"I don't think so Hermione. Just leave me alone."

It seemed like weeks ago that I found out it was Hermione who betrayed me when it was just two days ago. I didn't even know what to do about it. Hermione has been one of my best friends for the better part of the last seven years, but to have to her betray my trust like this had me torn. I knew she went through a lot in the last year, but I had a hard time seeing as how taking it out on me was going to help her.

"Please Harry, you have to let me explain. I wasn't myself. I'm not..it's all rather private. Just please, give me five minutes that's all I ask." I simply shook my head at her. Five minutes wasn't too much to ask, but I had to cool off before I could give her a fair shot. Right now, no matter what was said, she would get shot down.

She began to beg just a little more, so I got up and left. I stormed into the entrance hall, angry at her and myself for not grabbing some food to take with me. I stood there, pacing the hall, waiting for Draco. He was there in less than a minute.

"Care to explain?"

"Hermione." Was all I said as if that would explain anything. I almost forgot I haven't even told Draco yet.

"What about her?"

"She's the one who started the rumor, about me and Snape."

"WHAT? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I tried to, yesterday, but you didn't want to ruin our day together. I only found out Friday night. I forgot about it until I just seen her. God, I don't know what to do."

"I knew I never liked that stupid mudblood."

"Draco!"

"What? I'm not holding my tongue for her. She's nothing but a stupid mudblood whore."

"Don't say that."

"Harry, she told people you were sleeping with Snape. She's the reason that every time we go anywhere people are whispering about us. Why that stupid Hufflepuff can say things like that during class. It's her fault. Why would you defend her?"

"I'm not defending what she did. Just say muggleborn, please."

"You can't be serious! If anything, this should prove to you how much lower they are than us. The sink to any level. Scum is what they are."

"Oh and you purebloods are just such noble pure souls. Murder and prejudices aside, of course."

"That isn't fair!" He actually sounded like he was wronged somehow, and it was starting to make me nauseous.

"I can't believe we're actually having this argument. You're just like your father sometimes, it makes me sick."

"Why does it always come back to my father with you? Can't you ever get passed that?"

"Get pass him trying to murder me? Hmm, let me think on it." The sarcasm was dripping off of every word. "I'll never accept your father, Draco. Never." He was silent for a moment, just staring at me in shock.

"I can't deal with this." He quickly reverted to his normal self, and then he stormed off in the direction of his dorm. I had no intention of following.

–

I spent the rest of my day going from the Gryffindor common room, to talking walks around the grounds. The weather was getting warmer, which reminded me it was almost time for Easter break. It's almost been a year since Draco and I stood in front of Voldemort, begging to be let into his circle. I pulled back my sleeve and stared at the mark on my arm.

I wanted to cut my skin off. What were we thinking when we did this? What was I thinking when I tortured that man? How could I allow myself to do that, even if it was just a cover?

"You've had enough rumors going around to last you a lifetime, don't need to add a new one. I can see it now. Boy Who Lived branded with Dark Mark."

"That isn't funny Severus."

"No, it wasn't." The man stood next to me, following me in my walk. "What's on your mind Harry? You've been wandering aimlessly for hours."

"Are you sure we should be walking together out in the open?"

"Am I not allowed to converse with students?" I just raised my eyebrows at him. "The investigation is officially closed. As far as the Ministry is concerned, we have never been in a relationship. Unless of course, there is another reason you don't want to be seen with me."

"No. We just got in another fight. I swear, all we do anymore is fight."

"What is the drama this week?"

"His father, as usual. And Hermione."

"Miss Granger, really?" I dropped my voice down to a whisper.

"She's the only who told."

"Interesting. Really interesting. So when you were telling your friends all about us, insisting that you could trust them, even though I disagreed. You were wrong."

"It appears so." He seemed quite pleased with this news, even though it is the reason we've both been going through a particular rough week.

"So I was right. That is interesting." It seemed nice to joke with the man. It took my mind off of everything else. But somehow we ended up walking back inside, down to the dungeons, and storming into the Potions classroom. It was oddly comforting being in that room again with no fears.

Surely if any students noticed us heading in here alone, it wouldn't help out reputations any, but I didn't care. There is no law against me being friends with a teacher. We spent the night chatting away. I gave him details on all my latest fights with Draco and Hermione, while he told me all about his investigation and his argument with his 'guardian'.

"You should be going." Snape said as the clock was telling me there was only fifteen minutes till curfew.

"I guess so. See you in class tomorrow." I began to walk to the door but Severus grabbed my arm yanking me around. "Sev, what are you.." I was shut up efficiently by Severus lips pressing against mine. I knew it was wrong and I should push him off of me, but it felt too good. I allowed him to slowly caress my lips with his tongue.

The kiss seemed to last forever. Then he pulled away and looked me straight in the eye. My green eyes met his black, and I suddenly remembered myself. I pushed him off me.

"I'm sorry, but I can't. I can't be a cheater."

"Goodnight Harry." He stood there, unmoving. Confusion overwhelming me, I turned back around and exited the room, not looking back.

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	19. Three Days

**Three Days**

Three days.

That's how long it's been since Draco has spoken to me. Granted, I haven't been making much of an effort, but I didn't feel like it was my place to do so. I can understand him being angry with Hermione, but to return to his prejudice ways was too much. No matter what his father did, he still seemed to look up to him, adopting his ideals for his own. I shouldn't have to apologize for being angry over that. My anger was justified.

But nonetheless, I didn't like not talking to him. In fear of Draco never being the first to initiate the conversation. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I decided it would be best if I approached him during class, to avoid more arguments. Unfortunately the only class we shared together today was Potions.

When I got into the classroom, Draco was there, sitting in the corner, with Blaise Zabini sitting in the only seat next to him. Figures. I went over to them, placing my arm gently on Blaise's arm, causing both men to turn and look at me.

"Hey, do you mind if I sit here?"

"Uh, no, go ahead Harry," Blaise said as he was getting up but Draco grabbed his hand to pull him back down.

"I, however, do mind. Go sit somewhere else Potter. I'm sure your precious Granger won't mind." I turned to look at Hermione, who did seem quite pleased by the idea. But the only thing I really cared about was that Draco didn't call her a mudblood.

"I want to sit with you. Please. We have to talk." He glared at me, then Hermione, and finally nodded to Blaise who got up, freeing my desired seat. "Thanks." I said grinning slightly, but he only rolled his eyes.

"You have something to say?"

"I don't like going this long without talking to you. We both said things out of anger the other day. Things we didn't mean."

"Really? Does that mean you might accept my father one day? Or maybe the part where you said I made you sick. Or was it defending Granger that you are retracting?" He said Granger again, but I had to refrain from smiling. "Well, which is it?"

"You could never make me feel sick. I was just angry. I'm sorry for saying that."

"Not sorry for anything else, I take it?" I said nothing. I didn't want to lie, so I thought silence was the best option. "Ugh, well in the spirit of apologizing, I'm sorry for saying that word. I know how upset it gets you, but I am still not happy with her, and everything else I said stands." He was shooting daggers at Hermione the whole time. I couldn't blame him. I felt the same way at first, and she was my friend. Draco only acted civil to her on my behalf, so I couldn't ask for me.

"Silence." Snape shouted to gain everyone's attention. I immediately looked up at him, who was staring right at me. "Class has begun, no more talking." He locked eyes with me for a few seconds. To anyone else, it was a glare of anger, but I had a feeling there was something more behind it.

Three days.

That's how long it's been since Severus kissed me. I wasn't sure why he did it. He has told me that he'll always love me, but he also said that he didn't want to share me with Draco. I just couldn't understand. Did I give him the impression that Draco and I were over because of our fight? I don't think I did.

I felt incredibly guilty, but not for kissing him back. After all, that was only a natural reaction to being kissed. Especially by someone I use to spend a good time amount of kissing. No. I walked away, no matter how much I was tempted not to. I did the right thing, but I was still fighting with myself.

I felt guilty for allowing my thoughts tread in unthinkable waters. For entertaining the idea that I would be able to have Severus and Draco in my life at the same time, without Draco's knowledge.

I loved Draco, I did. But with everything that has happened between us, I am starting to ask myself whether I've made the right decision choosing him. Were constantly fighting, and it's not even just trivial things either. His relationship with his father is too much for me to handle. If he expects me to accept him and make him apart of our life, he's mistaken.

So I think about Severus. The only drama we ever really had to deal with revolved around Draco. Of course there is the fact that he's my professor, but soon enough he won't be. No matter how much I tried not to think about any of this, it plagued me. It seemed it was the only thing on my mind. So I felt guilty. Draco was my fiancée, whom I loved. Yes, we have our problems, but we can work through them. Were strong enough, right?

The fact that I'm asking myself these question doesn't inspire much confidence, but I was determined to make things work with Draco. We loved each other, and if he was willing to try, so was I.

Three days.

That's how long I've completely avoiding all of Hermione's attempts to speak to me. What she did to me was horrible. I still didn't understand how she could tell such a huge secret of mine to anyone, especially Ernie Macmillan.

But after my nighttime lesson with Dumbledore (which were much duller now than our first lesson together), Hermione was waiting in the common room long after everyone was in bed.

"Harry, please just listen to me. Five minutes is all I ask. Please." This was how she has been greeting me every since I've stopped speaking to her. Normally I would just walk away, but I figured she's suffered enough. I would listen to what she had to say. She was my best friend after all.

"Five minutes." Was all I said in response. Her expression was shock of course, after multiple times of being refused, but she quickly recovered.

"Thank you. Okay, so, there's not much I can say besides sorry. I know what I did was wrong. Ernie and I, well, we've sort of been.."

"Sleeping together?" I questioned her even though I already knew the answer. She just nodded.

"I didn't mean to say it, honest, but when it slipped, I made him promise he wouldn't say anything. He promised me, but obviously that was a lie."

"Why would you even be with someone like him? He's such a prat Hermione, you know that."

"I know he is! It's just, he always made me feel good about myself. You know he's one of the only purebloods who befriends muggleborns, well besides the Weasley's."

"Am I suppose to be impressed he's not as much of a prat as much of the other purebloods in this school? Because frankly, I don't think he deserves any credit."

"You don't understand what it's like to be muggleborn Harry. You don't know what it feels like to know your one of the smartest and the hardest working students in this school and still be treated like you're below everyone else."

"People don't treat you like that. Everyone knows how smart you are."

"You don't get it!" She practically shouted. "You don't know what it feels like to be used and taken advantaged of just because of your heritage."

"Hermione.."

"NO! You don't get it!" Tears began to flow down her cheeks, and I realized the reason behind it wasn't all this blood nonsense.

"Hermione. Are you sure you are dealing with everything that happened this summer?" She didn't say anything, but more tears fell as her eyes began to swell up. "I thought you were talking to someone."

"My parents made me go to a therapist. She was a muggle though, so I couldn't tell her much."

"Did you talk to your parents about it?"

She began to shake her head. "I could never do that."

"You need to talk to someone. Someone you trust and can be honest with. I'm sure Madame Pomfrey wouldn't mind."

"I can't talk to her. I can't have her looking at me like that."

"Looking at you like what?"

"Like a whore."

"Hermione, you are not a whore! What happened to you was not your fault. You had no control over it." I finally brought her into an embrace, my anger washing away. I couldn't believe she was still feeling like this after all this time. I believed her when she said she was dealing with it, but maybe I should have talked to someone about it myself.

"I still feel him on me all the time Harry. He ruined me." That was the most I could get out of her as she cried on my shoulder for the better part of the night. The next morning, once we were both rested, I asked her to come with me to Grimmauld Place for the Easter holidays, which she accepted, not really in the mood to visit her own family.

I knew Draco wouldn't be too fond of the idea, but Hermione needed me. Of course, it didn't really matter too much, because when I brought the issue up with Draco, he seemed completely indifferent.

"So Granger and you made up then?" I answered with a simple yes, and he just stood there, seemingly processing everything I just told him. "So you're going to spend your holidays with her?"

"Yeah, but I mean, you know Hermione loves doing school work and stuff, so we'll still have plenty of alone time, promise. She won't be a bother."

"I'm staying at Hogwarts."

"I swear you'll barely even notice she's there. Don't do this!" He just smiled and leaned in for a kiss.

"I'm not doing anything. It's just I'm almost caught up to where I'm suppose to be with all of my school work. If I stay here during break, I'll be able to finish everything. I know if I go with you, I won't get anything done." He looked up at me with a smirk on my face. "Besides, this might even be good for us, you know, maybe a break from each other will help clear out some cobwebs, or whatever."

"A break?" Granted I don't know much about relationships, but a break was never a good thing.

"Well just some time alone, you know. Not a break up!" He added quickly. "I mean, we can still write and stuff. But maybe just spending some alone time, we can get over all of this." He didn't have to clarify what he meant by that.

"But we'll write? Definitely not a break up?"

"Definitely not."

I was still uneasy about the whole break thing, but I was surprised at how well Draco took me spending my holiday with Hermione. Ron, however, didn't take it that well.

I did enjoy that fact that he was standing up on my behalf. After all, Hermione betrayal was directed towards me, but by the way Ron acted, it was as if Hermione told the whole school he had been sleeping with Severus.

Of course when I mentioned this to him, that image alone seemed to make him forget of his anger for Hermione temporarily, and direct it towards me.

"Ew, mate! I'm gonna end up having nightmares over that."

"I don't know, I think you'd like him. He's really tight." I said with a wink.

"Are you trying to make me sick?"

I just laughed carelessly. "Oh come off it Ron. He's not that bad. He's really not bad at all, he's actually..great." I realized I was staring off, allowing my mind to wander in thoughts of Severus. Fortunately, Ron didn't seem to notice the flushing of my cheeks.

"Yeah, well don't let Malfoy hear you say that. He might kill him."

"Right." I changed the topic to Bill, Ron's oldest brother who was coming home to visit for Easter. Ron was excited to see his brother, so my plan was a success. No more mentions of Severus or Draco.

–

When the day came to leave for London, I walked down to the train station with Ron and Hermione. Ron seemed to forgive Hermione, following my lead. Even though he never said it outright, he began to act as if nothing ever happened. It felt nice to be with them both again. It almost felt like it did years ago. We were standing at Hogsmeade station when Draco came from behind me wrapping his arms around me.

"What are you doing here? Did you change your mind?" He just shook his head.

"No, I just wanted to say goodbye."

"How'd you even get out of the school without Filch stopping you?"

"I have my ways. Or actually, your ways." He laughed and gave me a long kiss. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." The trains horn sounded, letting us know departure would be soon. "I have to go. Write me?"

"I will."

"Good. Now hurry up and get back before anyone realizes you're gone. And be safe!"

"I promise not to do anything you would do." He raised his eyebrows at me and I only smiled. Yes, I loved this man very much.

–

–

**A/N: Yes, I know I've been updating painfully slow recently..lol But my story is rounding up towards the end and I'm trying to make sure I don't leave any loose ends. There will probably be 3 or 4 chapters left, depending how much space it takes to say everything I want to write. I'm going on vacation in May, so that might delay things. Although I will have a long train ride, but I don't know how long my laptop battery will last me. But enough rambling...**

**REVIEW ME, please :)**


	20. Revelations

**Revelations **

As soon as I got home that night, I wrote Draco. His visit to the station to say goodbye had me wanting to put all of my efforts into fixing our relationship. Apparently Draco didn't feel the same, because I have yet to receive a reply now two days later.

I knew he was trying to work on his school work, but it wouldn't take more than fifteen minutes to write me. I couldn't help that maybe this "break" was actually a break up. Maybe he was actually spending time with someone else. I've tried to think of everyone who was staying behind this year, wondering if they were Draco's new lover.

Hermione thought I was being ridiculous, and that Draco was just too busy catching up on his school work, and that a letter was probably already on its way. I could only hope so.

Hermione was doing better. She seemed pleased with not having to see her parents. She told me that they were very uncomfortable around her, acting as if she was a porcelain doll. But Remus and I tried not to be.

She opened up to me a little, describing what Lucius did to her that night, not in graphic details of course, but mostly what he said to her. Saying that she was a useless piece of trash mudblood, that she should be begging for an opportunity like being in his bed. It made me want to kill him.

It also made me remember the time I caught him with the muggle woman while I was staying at the mansion. He even called whatever they did his 'dirty laundry'. I can't believe how stupid I was. He was raping her too, just like he did to Hermione. It was hard to believe this man was related to my Draco.

Hermione also talked to Remus. Not details on the rape, but about feeling rejected by others prejudices. Remus, being a werewolf, was well informed on the matter. I couldn't be much help there, considering everyone in the wizarding world either worshiped me or wanted to see me die. Neither were quite enjoyable, but it wasn't close to the same situation.

But other than helping Hermione deal with her issues, the days were long and dreadful. Waiting for a letter that didn't seem to be coming only made it all that more difficult. So for the first time in, well, ever, I was looking forward to the Order meeting.

Not because of the meeting, which would undoubtedly make me miserable, but because I would finally have a chance to talk to Severus and ask him about what happened the other day. I probably would of felt guilty for my desire to see him, but with Draco's absent letter hanging in the back of my mind, I didn't.

When the time arrived for the meeting, I sat in the corner watching everyone's arrival, gesturing hello to everyone I knew. Snape was the last to walk through the door, immediately following Dumbledore.

The meeting was a depressing as usual. More people were being attacked, mostly muggles. Voldemort, apparently, has been keeping out of the wizarding world mostly, but I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. I know it was terrible to feel relieved by the news, but I couldn't help it. It was nice to know that people I knew and cared about were not being attacked, but muggles had no means to defend themselves, so it was actually unfair and cruel. Even for Voldemort.

The meeting, which only lasted about an hour, even if it seemed like five, ended abruptly with Dumbledore dispatching orders to a few. My name was never mentioned, which was probably the first time ever. But obviously, there wasn't much I could do. I would be returning to school soon, and the only thing I could do was practice spells from Slytherin's book, which I was already doing.

Severus remained behind with Dumbledore as everyone else went to the kitchen to have some food prepared by Mrs. Weasley.

I waited in the hallway leading towards the exit, knowing there wasn't a chance Severus would join the others in the kitchen. Even though he forfeited his position as a spy to save me, clearly proving which side he was truly on, they still felt tense around the man. Severus sensed this of course and tried to keep his distance from them whenever contact wasn't necessary. I couldn't blame him. I felt the same way being with the others, and they've all treated me with nothing but respect.

In just a few minutes, true to form, Severus came striding down the hallway.

"What are you doing lingering here Potter?"

"I was waiting for you." I leaned against the wall, attempting to look casual. "We need to talk."

"I have things to do." I quickly jolted off the wall to stop Severus from escaping. "Get off me Potter." He responded to my death grip on his arm.

"Sorry." I released him yet still blocked his path. "And cut it out with the whole Potter thing. I'm tired of having that argument."

"We're not alone in this house."

"I don't see anyone here now. Besides, it's not like anything is much of a secret with these people."

"And whose fault is that?" He questioned, knowing very well I only had myself to blame. I decided not to let him get the upper hand by straying my thoughts.

"You kissed me the other night." Silence was the only response I received. "Why did you kiss me, what do you want?"

"I don't have time for this." He went to push me away but I stood tall and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. It wasn't at all like the kiss we shared the other night, but it kept him from walking away.

"Why did you kiss me?" I asked again.

"I could ask you to same thing."

"I didn't want you to leave. Your turn." He scowled. "You still love me. You've told me as much, but you also made it pretty clear that you didn't.." I didn't know how to say what I wanted without sounding like a big selfish jerk, so I settled for "You know?" He did know. He reached out and touched my cheek lightly before pulling his hand away as if he was burned.

"You're with Draco." His tone suddenly wasn't so harsh anymore. "I'm sorry for my actions, it was inappropriate."

"That wasn't exactly an answer to my question."

"Harry.." The use of my first name accompanied by his lighter tone brought me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around him and leaned my head against his shoulder. He removed me slowly and stepped back. "Where is Draco?"

"Probably lounging around somewhere not bothering to write me." I gave a hollow laugh thinking about it, but Severus' face grew dark.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing really," I didn't want to talk about this right now, but his glare gestured for me to continue. "I just haven't gotten a single letter from him yet. I know it's stupid, but he should have written me by now."

"You mean to tell me that Draco is not in this house?"

"Of course not, he's at Hogwarts." The look his face shook through me. "He's not?" He just shook his head and my stomach collapsed. I thought I was going to throw up.

Millions of images were soaring through my mind. Draco saying goodbye to me at Hogsmeade station. Draco trying to sneak his way back onto the grounds without being caught. Draco being captured by Voldemort. Draco being subjected to the cruciatus. Draco being murdered.

I immediately dropped to the ground and began crying hysterically. Here I was feeling guilty over him not writing me a stupid letter when he could be in real danger, or worse. Draco could be dead.

I could feel Severus arms wrapped around me in an attempt to soothe me. It wasn't working. Words were being said, but I couldn't understand them. I had to do something. Draco needed me now.

I leap to my feet and bolted to the door. Ripping it open, I felt the cool night air hit my face. I ran down the few steps and out onto the street. I knew I had to get to Malfoy Mansion but I didn't think I would be able to apparate in my current condition, so I started running.

I was running as fast as I could, not exactly knowing where I was going when I was hit on the back with a curse. I fell flat on my face, pain coursing through me as I hit the pavement. I attempted to move, but was completely immobilized. I could feel blood filling up my mouth. It would be ironic to die like this. From a simple binding spell. Just as I was beginning to get nervous, the spell was lifted.

As I spit out the blood in my mouth, I looked up to face my attacker.

"You're an idiot Harry. What the hell do you think you're doing running outside like this? You have no idea who could of been out there!" Snape looked genuinely furious. I followed him back inside without saying another word.

As much as I wished I could save Draco, it wasn't possible for me to handle a rescue mission alone, especially in my current condition. Beside my face was burning with pain, I was quite desperate to have it healed.

Severus guided me upstairs into the bedroom that he stayed in during the summer. It's been empty ever since. He laid me down and told me to wait. I complied without complaint.

I laid alone for about a minute before the door opened. But it wasn't Severus, like I expected, but Remus. I didn't say anything to him, and he didn't say anything to me besides telling me to stay still before he healed my face and washed away the blood. It still felt a little sore, but marginally better.

I sat up and just stared at him as he sat down in the desk chair. I didn't know what to say.

"Severus will be back shortly. He just went to get some things." I just nodded feeling incredibly awkward. Remus didn't approve of my relationship with Snape, even now that it was over, I could tell it still made him uncomfortable. "And don't worry about Draco. Were going to take care of it." He said as an afterthought. I wasn't sure what he meant, but it made me feel relieved anyway.

We sat in silence for about thirty minutes until there was a quiet knock on the door. Severus entered before we had a chance to respond. He brought a small bag which more than likely was storing a multitude of potions. He reached in a pulled out and small jar and handed it to me.

"Massage it on your face, it will prevent bruising."Both men waited patiently as I rubbed the thick purple goo onto my face. It felt hot on my skin, but it wasn't unpleasant. When I was finished Severus handed me a small glass with brown liquid in it. For a second I thought he was giving me alcohol but then I smelled it. "It's a calming draught." I swallowed it quickly, knowing it was exactly what I needed. "Now try and get some sleep. We'll work through this in the morning."

"No. Stay with me." They both turned to look at me. "Sev, please. Just stay with me." The tension in the room was fierce. Both set of eyes on me, then Remus looked directly at Severus and nodded before leaving us alone. "Lay with me." I pleaded.

He stripped himself of his outer robes only before he crawled under the duvet with me. I latched on to him as silent tears fell down my face. The calming draught worked, but I still felt uneasy and needed the comfort only Severus could give me.

"You'll stay all night, right?"

"Yes." He barely whispered.

"Promise?"

"I promise." Although I know I shouldn't say it, I let the words slip out anyway.

"I love you." I got no response as I slowly fell asleep.

--

When I woke up, my face was pressed against Severus' chest. The mans breathing was even as he was sound asleep. I didn't want to wake him up but it seems I didn't have to.

"How are you feeling?" The look of concern on his face was genuine so I smiled.

"Okay. Well better than last night anyhow."

"Good. We should go downstairs. I'm sure the others are waiting." I wasn't surprised he never mentioned my verbal slip last night. It was probably for the best though.

I got dressed, and Snape brushed down his robes to make it look as if he hadn't just spent the night sleeping in them. Not that it would have mattered, because everyone in this house knew better. Hermione, Remus, and Dumbledore were all sitting at the kitchen table talking, but stopped when we walked in.

"Harry.." Remus stood up and gave me a hug. "Feeling better?" I just nodded at him.

"You're talking about Draco." There was no need for an answer. Remus did say they would handle it in the morning, and with Dumbledore here, it was painfully obvious. They all nodded anyway. "Are we going rescue him?"

I could no longer think of the possibility that he could be dead.

"I'm afraid to say, I don't think Draco is in a position where he would need to be rescued." That came from the Headmaster. The words sounded worried, but his voice didn't. "When students spend their holidays at Hogwarts, they must sign up and inform me. I'm afraid Draco had no intention of staying at Hogwarts."

"What do you mean by that?"

"He's saying that Draco went home, willingly." Remus answered, acting as a comfort zone, but it wasn't helping me much.

"No." Draco wouldn't do that. He wouldn't go to that house knowing what happened there. Knowing he could be killed. "He wouldn't."

"We don't think he's in any danger, but we are worried about what his actions mean."

"What his actions mean? What the hell are you trying to say? Draco's working against us? Against me?"

"No one's saying that."

"Then what exactly are you saying?"

"Regardless of who his family is, you know he loves them." Severus this time. My eyes almost betrayed me and watered up but without any tears actually falling. Draco did love his family. But would he honestly risk his life to see them?

"We're not sure of anything, but we think it would be best to just wait until Draco returns to Hogwarts to find out." Remus again.

"But what if he doesn't return? What if they..." I caught my breath as the tears started to fall. But just then the sound of the front door opening could be heard from upstairs. The three men quickly went up the stairs to figure out the cause of the disturbance. Hermione and I following behind. When we got to the top of the stairs, we saw all of them just stood staring at the intrusion. When I got closer, I realized who it was.

I ran through the men and jumped in to Draco's arms. I kissed him passionately, not caring who was watching. When I glanced at his appearance, I noticed nothing of consequence. Perfectly pressed robes, hair slicked back perfect as ever, no cuts or bruises. They were right. Draco definitely wasn't held against his will. He lied to me.

I hugged him, holding him close, I was angry, but too proud to have an argument in front of the others, proving to them that they were right. Draco had to have a good reason for doing this. He would tell me. The sound of a door slamming broke us apart. I looked back at my friends and frowned.

Severus was gone.

–

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**A/N: 3 More chapters left. (most likely..who knows if something else might strike me and their becomes a fourth..lol) I'm going on vacation tomorrow so I had to get this out. I promise to start on the next one as soon as I get back so you won't have to wait that long. Who knows maybe if I get tons of wonderful reviews I may start earlier. **

**Yes, that means I'm bribing you for some reviews..lol DO IT!  
**


	21. I'm sorry, but

-

"**I'm sorry, but..."**

"You lied to me." That was the only thing I could say right now. I just spent the last ten minutes practically mauling him in front of Dumbledore, Remus, Hermione, and Severus, until he left of course. The thought alone made my heart ache.

I didn't know what else to say to Draco. He told me that he was spending time at Hogwarts to catch up with his school work. But that was a lie. I worried about him, attempted to save him from something he obviously didn't need saving from.

The others thought he betrayed me, and I wondered if their was any truth to that. But why was he here now? Why did he come here after lying to me? Why didn't he just go back to Hogwarts? A million more questions entered my mind. But I had to start at the beginning.

"You lied to me!" I repeated myself with a little more force this time. I got no answer. "Why?"

"I'm sorry."

"That's not an answer! What were you doing?"

"I had to go home." Now I was getting really angry. Had to? He had to go home?

"What could you possibly have to go there for? And more importantly, why lie to me?"

"Because you would never let me go if I told you the truth. You've haven't tried to hide your animosity for my father."

"Animosity? Is that what you call it? You father wants to see me dead."

"I know. I'm sorry for lying, but I didn't have a choice."

"You could have chose not to go. Do you have any idea what I felt like when I found out you weren't at Hogwarts? I thought you were in trouble. I thought you might be.." I swallowed the lump in my throat. Just thinking about how scared I was last night.

"I didn't mean to worry you. I just had to go. My father asked me to come. Wanted to try and patch things up between us. I had to go. That's my family."

"I thought I was your family?"

"You are. You're my only family now." He grimaced, and I sighed, allowing my anger to take the back seat for now.

"What happened?"

"Well apparently father's idea of patching things up meant threatening to disown me as his heir unless I brought you to the Dark Lord and allowed him to kill you."

"And you said?" He snapped his head up from staring down at the floor.

"You really have to ask? I told him I could never do that! I love you, and besides, if you think I'm capable of something like that, _with anyone,_ you don't know me." His attempt to steer the conversation didn't work. "Well, when I told him I wouldn't do it, he told me to leave and never return."

"He let you leave just like that?" I asked skeptically. Lucius Malfoy was not likely to give up when he wanted something.

"He had to. The only other choice was to tell You-Know-Who and he couldn't. He doesn't want to see me hurt. He does love me, you know?" I hated when he did that. I shouldn't feel guilty for not wanting him to see his father. It's not my fault his father is a maniac. "But don't worry, you got what you want. I won't ever see them again. I am no longer a Malfoy."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. He gave me a choice. I chose you. You're all I need. Which is a good thing, because you're the only thing I have left." The meaning of his words sunk in. I knew that must have been a hard thing for him to do, but for some reason, I wasn't as happy as I expected to be. He gave up all his inheritance for me. This is exactly what I wanted, so why wasn't I happy about it?

"No amount of money is worth your life Harry. I love you. You have to understand that. Even though I lied to you. I'm sorry. Honestly. But now we can really start our lives together. Nothing is holding us back anymore." I just nodded sadly as he wrapped his arms around me. I couldn't understand why I was acting like this. This was good news. Draco chose to be with me over the life he has. I had to be happy.

Knowing it wasn't a good sign that I had to force a smile on my face, I kissed him, allowing both our eyes to close so I wouldn't have to look at him.

"Yes." It was lame, but it was all I had.

--

After assuring Dumbledore and Remus that Draco was indeed not a Death Eater trying to betray me, the Headmaster left, leaving awkward moments between us three for the rest of the holiday.

Hermione seemed pleased with the news, as well as Ron. I was a little confused when I got his letter, but apparently Hermione took it upon herself to write him and tell him the "good news."

She caught on to my sour attitude rather quickly, whereas Remus and Draco didn't, or else they were just ignoring it. Draco was practically by my side all the time, but when he decided to take a long shower our last day before our return to Hogwarts, she questioned me.

"Are you okay Harry?"

"I'm fine." Scrunching her face obviously trying to find the right words to say, I looked down at my feet.

"Does this have anything to do with Professor Snape?" I just looked up at her with wide eyes. I have been trying not to think about him since Draco came back. "He did sleep in your room the other night. I'm not assuming anything, but if you are feeling guilty about something, you can talk to me about it. I promise to keep it a secret this time." Her joke didn't ease anything like I suspected she planned.

"Nothing happened with Severus." I replied almost honestly. Yes we slept in the same bed together, and yes I told him I loved him in a daze, but nothing really happened. "We just slept. That's all."

"Is there something you're not telling me? I can tell something is bothering you."

"Yeah, but I'm not even sure what right now." Our conversation was cut short by Draco's appearance. The rest of the day went as usual as always. When night time came, I returned to my room with Draco. For the first time, I didn't enjoy myself. It didn't go unnoticed as I began to get limp halfway through.

"Are you still angry with me for lying to you?" Draco asked as I slipped out of him and flopped down on the bed. He was still hard, and I tried not to call attention to it, not in the mood to finish what I started.

"No."

"Then what's going on? I mean, you've been weird ever since.." That answered my question on whether Draco noticed my behavior. I just wished he would go back to ignoring it.

"I'm not acting weird. I'm just not in the mood tonight."

"You've never not been in the mood Harry! If you're mad, tell me, so we can work it out."

"I'm not mad dammit!" My tone was contradicting my words, but I didn't care. I got off the bed, threw on a pair of boxers and left the room.

Without thinking, I walked into the room I spent the night in with Snape just a few days ago. The salve I used on my face still sat on the night stand. I stared at it for five minutes before I started crying. It was irrational that a tub of purple goo caused this sort of reaction. But it wasn't the salve, it was Severus.

Severus helping me. Granted, he did cause the wounds that needed it, but he did it to protect me. The way he was always protecting me. He was always there for me when I needed him. No matter what I did to him, he would be there, waiting for me.

All of the memories of Severus and I together began to flow through my mind making the tears come harder. Severus trusting me with his secrets, holding onto me at night, telling me he loved me. Me telling him that I loved him.

I loved Severus.

I never stopped loving him. Draco came back and all my love for him triumphed. But things were different now. This wasn't like last year. Our fights were serious. But now, Draco has given me everything I asked for and I was terrified, and now I knew why.

I wanted Severus, but how could I rationalize leaving Draco now? He was my obligation.

The thought made me want to throw up. How can I even think of Draco like that? An obligation? Is that what our lives are destined to be? I dropped down into the bed, holding the covers up to my chin. I tried my hardest not to feel like this, but it just wasn't going away. I laid there trying to clear my head until I finally succumbed to sleep.

–

I woke up and reluctantly went into my room. When I got there, Draco was absent, along with all of my belongings besides one set of robes laying on the bed. Figuring Draco packed my things, since he didn't have anything of his own, I got dressed and joined everyone down stairs.

Draco looked at me with sad eyes over his teacup. Remus and Hermione had confusion dawned on their faces. I went over and sat next to Draco, grabbing his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. I made a promise to marry Draco, and I would uphold it.

I loved him. I just had to let go of my feelings for Severus, and all would be well. We could get back to the way we use to be. We would be happy again. Draco smiled at my actions and then poured me a cup of tea.

We were all relatively quiet heading to King's Cross other than our goodbyes to Remus. The train ride didn't favor any different. Ron seemed to be the only one who was in much of a mood for talking. So we all listened to his tales of a happy holiday, all silently wishing he would stop.

Nothing of interest happened until Ernie Macmillan decided to stop by our compartment.

"Hey Granger!" Hermione stayed silent, but Ron didn't.

"Sod off Macmillan!" The look on Ernie's face was one of sorrow. But it was also honest. He seemed really hurt.

"Hermione?" Ernie tried once again, looking almost desperate.

"Didn't you hear me?" Ron shouted again and with one last look at Hermione, he walked away. "What an idiot!" Ron chided and I nodded even though I wasn't really sure I agreed.

I wasn't a 100% sure on everything that happened between the two, but I was certain that Ernie wasn't in it to hurt Hermione. He didn't know what she was dealing with, and had no possibility to realize the harm he was doing. He just thought he was in a casual relationship with a girl, who suddenly wouldn't even look at him.

I had put my support behind Hermione, but I couldn't help feeling a little sorry for Macmillan I might have actually said something, except the memory of him insulting Severus over my relationship kept my mouth shut easily.

When we finally arrived and entered the Great Hall, I immediately let my attention focus on the head table. Severus was there, glaring at the students, but not noticing me. I stared at him, hoping beyond hope that he would look at me. After a few minutes he finally turned towards the Gryffindor table, glaring harder than ever. Then he caught my expression.

I was trying to subtly let him know I wanted to talk to him with my eyes, but I wasn't sure if he was getting the message. After a few seconds of that he gestured in the opposite direction. I followed his gaze and found Draco staring directly at me. That's when I decided it would be best if I concentrated on my food.

I hoped beyond all reason that Draco would ignore my little excursion during dinner, but I knew I wasn't that lucky when I saw the look on his face as he approached me.

"What the bloody hell was that Harry?" I tried to act nonchalant but the anger radiating off of him wouldn't accept that.

"It was nothing."

"NOTHING? You call that nothing? Why not just announce it to the Great Hall you planned on meeting him in private? Don't even try and deny it! You were going to meet him!"

"You're making this into something it's not." I was unnaturally calm for the situation, but I just didn't care. I was tired of this. I wasn't going to do it anymore.

"I'm making this into something? You promised me you wouldn't speak to him anymore!"

"Well I'm not making any more stupid promises. I'll talk to who I want, when I want."

"So this is eye for an eye then? Because I talked to my father behind your back, you're going to start talking to him again." I just laughed because he was so wrong. Yes it did bother me when I found out he went to his father's, but that's not why I wanted to talk to Severus.

I finally realized I loved Severus more than Draco. But since I have decided to keep my promised to Draco, I figured I shouldn't torture myself by not allowing Severus in my life, even as just a friend.

"Whatever! If that's what it takes for you to get even with me, then do it."

"I'm not getting even with you. I just don't see why I should have to settle." The words left my mouth before I had a chance to give them much thought.

He just stared at me. A mix of anger and hurt grazed his eyes.

"That's not what I meant." I tried to correct myself. "I just.."

"No," He stopped me. "I think you're being honest for the first time in a long time."

"Draco. I love you."

"Don't lie to me." He actually started to cry, and I felt terrible. "I've given up everything I've had for us. Because I thought you wanted this as much as I did. I thought we were going to get married, and raise a family, but you don't."

"That's not it."

"Oh, no? I knew you would be angry with me for going to see my father. I kept wishing that he would give in and I could have you and still keep my family. Foolish, really. But he gave me a choice. I chose you, because I thought we loved each other more than anything else. Stupid of me to think that would bring us closer together. All your weird behavior lately, I can't believe I didn't see it sooner."

I just stood there and stared at him as he put it all together, better than I could have anyway.

"You were looking for an easy way out all this time. You didn't want me to choose you. You wanted him, all this time."

"Draco, just stop." I pleaded with him. I knew what he was saying was true, but I don't think I could stand to hear it coming from him.

"NO! You'll give me this!" I knew I had no other option. "I need to hear it Harry. I need you to say it." Tears were falling from my own eyes. It was only fair to give him what he asked, but I knew it would break his heart, and I hated the thought of that. "Say it!"

"I'm sorry, but I love him." He didn't cry anymore. He simple wiped his cheeks and nodded. I had nothing more to say, and I was sure he felt the same, but nonetheless we both stood there staring at one another.

"Harry!" I heard Ron shouting and running towards me, and knew he couldn't have come at a worse time. I looked over at him, about to gesture for him to leave until I saw the look of horror on his face.

"What is it Ron?"

"Death Eaters." He said slightly out of breath. "They're got through the wards."

--

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**A/N: So apparently, bribing works..lol Thanks for all the lovely reviews people. There will be two more chapters left. So you know how it works. Review and make me happy, and i'll write to make you happy :-)**


	22. Too Many Goodbyes

**Too Many Goodbyes**

I heard what Ron said, but I wasn't able to process it right away. Just seconds ago, Draco and I broke up, in probably what could be considered the worse way possible. Death Eaters was a strange concept in my tear filled haze. But after a short moment, reality came to the front of my mind. Death Eaters at Hogwarts. This was not good.

"Where are they?" I asked Ron, and he quickly began rambling as he shook his head.

"I'm not sure. Dumbledore stormed into the Great Hall, told everyone to head back to their dormitories and asked me to find you. Didn't really have time for anymore questions." That was helpful enough. Dumbledore would be the only one to tell me what was going on.

As we headed back towards the Great Hall, Draco and Ron following me, swarms of students were heading in the opposite direction. Then I spotted Hermione. She was undoubtedly fulfilling her duties as prefect and directing all of the students to their common rooms.

"Harry!" I ignored her worried look and turned to Ron.

"You should help her. Keep everyone safe."

"What about keeping you safe? They want you, not a bunch of kids. You're mental if you think I'm leaving your side."

"There will be plenty of people watching my back, they need you." I looked at Hermione who seemed to be silently agreeing with me. "Both of you."

"We will Harry," Hermione answered with a worried look in her eyes. Ron just nodded, knowing it was pointless to argue at a time like this.

As they walked away, I turned my attentions to Draco.

"Slytherin's can take care of themselves. Forget it Potter." I nodded, just like Ron did before, not bothering to argue with the determined man in front of me. We then rushed off again towards the Great Hall.

I stormed inside, Draco in tow, to find not only Dumbledore, but about thirteen other order members. I briefly wondered how they all got there, until I saw Mad-eye discarding a pocket watch onto the ground. It seems I wasn't the only person who had an emergency portkey to Hogwarts.

One particular order member wasn't present however.

"Harry, good." Dumbledore greeted my presence, completely ignoring Draco. "Now everyone listen, we don't have much time. The building is secure for now, I've strengthened the wards, but it won't last forever. I think it's best if we take this fight outside before they have a chance to fall."

Everyone nodded in agreement, knowing it was better to start now and put less risk on the students. Although I couldn't help feel uneasy about all this. There were only about thirteen of us here, and I was sure there were at least three times as many Death Eaters. Unless more Order members came in the next few minutes, I don't think we could last that long.

Then I was curious as to where Severus was. He should of been the first one here. Then again, maybe he was and Dumbledore already sent him to do something. I tried not to think of any of the other possibilities.

"We stick together if possible. Got it?" Again everyone nodded but I felt sick to my stomach. This was too much, too soon. We all began walking towards the entrance hall, seemingly slow for what we were about to do. Maybe because we all knew, some of us would die, perhaps all of us.

"Harry." The Headmaster whispered before we went outside. "Remember, stay alive." I could tell everyone was a little confused by this piece of advice. Of course I would try to stay alive, along with everyone else, but I knew that wasn't what he meant.

He wanted me to use the spell that would link me to Voldemort. I don't know if he really believe that Voldemort would know what the spell did and be forced to spare me, or if he knew I would be walking to my death. It really didn't matter. I would do whatever I had to.

I just hope I saw Severus first. I would hate to leave him without saying goodbye.

I don't know what I was expecting when we stepped outside, but complete silence wasn't it. The grounds were dark, and it didn't look like there was a person around other than us, but I knew that wasn't true.

We all stood there for moments waiting for something to happen, but it didn't look like anything was going to.

"They're forcing us to separate," Moody growled and Dumbledore, looking as calm as ever nodded.

"We'll separate into three groups." Dumbledore quickly divided us, leaving me with Moody, Lupin, and Kingsley. I wasn't surprised I was grouped with three of the best order members. He kept Draco in his own group which I was grateful for. That was the safest place to be. Dumbledore would do everything to protect his students, even Draco.

Dumbledore's groups stayed where they were, while the other two groups went in opposite directions. We headed towards the quidditch pitch.

I almost wished someone would come out and attack us. The constant worry of someone coming out to try and kill us was worse than if they actually were doing it.

But then again, when it happened, I regretted my earlier thoughts. It seemed that they were appearing out of nowhere. First three of them, then six, and now at least ten Death Eaters were surrounding us. I was just glad no one has been killed, besides the lone Death Eater who made the mistake of trying to curse Moody from behind.

I don't think I ever felt more exhausted in my life. I was throwing stunning spells left and right. Everyone else seemed to be throwing more lethal curses, but I didn't know if I had it in me to do the same.

Until I saw Bellatrix Lestrange take off her mask and laugh as she sent a cruciatus curse at Lupin. It only took about two seconds of watching him wither in pain to bring it out of me.

I don't know if she was caught off guard from the obvious enjoyment from tutoring Remus, but the curse hit her square on the chest and she fell over.

Bellatrix's death seemed to make the others retreat a little, giving more distance between us, except for one who made himself know right away.

"You killed my wife!" The man roared out at me and we began to duel fiercely. The seconds seemed to take minutes, and I was sure any one of them would be my last.

"Watch it, Rodolphus. We can't kill Potter!" Another one yelled from far away and I wasn't surprised by what he said, but at the distance he seemed to be. I turned just for a quick glance to realize everyone was slowly moving farther away from where we were dueling. It seemed that the battle was forcing us to separate, which was the one thing that was keeping us alive.

I knew I couldn't keep this up. I don't know why I felt more reluctant to kill this man, than Bellatrix, but I knew it was my only choice. He couldn't go for the kill without being killed by Voldemort.

I had the upper hand, and I had to use it.

I managed to hit him with a jelly legs jinx. I knew it wouldn't last long or do much damage but it would distract him long enough for me to go in for the kill, literally.

"Avada kedavra!" My own voice sounded out through the field. I felt sick saying the words but once I watched him fall, just as Bellatrix, I couldn't help but smile a little.

"It's wonder you even had the willpower to leave us Potter." I didn't have to turn around to know who was behind me. I turned slowly to face the same man who raped my best friend and allowed his own son to be tortured into a coma.

"Lucius." I said coolly, feeling much more confident from my successes so far. "Pleasure seeing you here."

"No, Potter. The pleasure is definitely mine. Or it will be anyway, after I kill you." The statement only made my smile brighter.

"I don't think your master will be too happy about that." We began to circle around each other slowly, waiting for the first move to thrown.

"He'll forgive me. After all, torturing Severus has put him in a good mood." I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. I don't know how I knew he was telling me the truth, but I just did. I tried not to let my emotions show.

"Does he ever really forgive anyone? I think you'll be lucky to escape with your life. Not that it would be much of a life after he finished with you."

"NOT MUCH OF A LIFE?" He looked enraged from my statement. I thought he was going to curse me but he just kept yelling. "You took my life from me! My only son! I'll make sure you pay for that, consequences be damned!"

"I didn't take Draco from you. You lost him all on your own."

"If you were never in the picture, he would be beside me now!"

"Draco didn't want to be beside you! He never wanted to be a Death Eater. Maybe if you would have just accepted that, you'd have your son. He loved you, and you pushed him away. You have no one to blame but yourself."

I knew my words were sinking in, even if he didn't acknowledge them.

"I'm going to kill you Potter."

"No. You're going try." He threw the first curse, missing me only by an inch. Arguing with Lucius made me forget how tired I was from dueling before, and now I felt exhausted. I wouldn't last. Lucius would kill me.

I felt terrible. Not only because I knew I would die, but because of what this would do to Draco. If he knew his father was responsible for killing me. I don't know if he would be able to handle that. Then again, maybe he would be grateful after how I ended things.

"Watch out Potter," Lucius laughed as a green light flew right by my head. I almost cried from the irony of being murdered by Lucius for stealing his son away, after just ending things with him. So far I've been lucky not to be hit with anything, but I could tell my luck was running out.

Then it hit me. A dreadfully painful cruciatus curse. My whole body felt like it was burning from the inside. The pain was too much, and I just wished he would finish me off already. Death had to be better than this.

Then the pain stopped. I looked up from where I was thrown to the ground by the unforgivable. Lucius was suspended in midair by invisible bounds. I got up quickly and retrieved his wand from the ground right below his body before he could be released. Then I turned to see Draco standing a few feet aware, looking defeated.

"Draco? Are you okay?" He just shook his head as silent tears swam down his face. "You need to get back inside and see Madam Pomfrey."

"No, it's not that. I mean, I'm not hurt."

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say. I wanted to comfort him, but I knew I had to look for Voldemort, and hopefully save Severus. "I have to go." He nodded without saying anything. "Please. Go back inside or get with a group. It's not safe to be alone out here." He didn't respond, so I could only hope he would take my advice.

I turned and began to walk in the direction Lucius came from, thinking he was most likely coming from where Voldemort was.

"Harry, wait!" I turned with my wand held forward thinking it might be a warning, but Draco still stood there alone. "The Dark Lord has Snape."

"I know."

"Just be careful."

"I will." Once again I was off, feeling worse than before.

I assumed Lucius must have come right from the forest. Any other way he would have encountered members of the order, so that's where I headed. The forest at night was creepy enough on it's own, but walking around looking for Voldemort didn't help matters.

I walked about a half hour deep, and began to think maybe I was wrong. Then I heard the most terrible noise I ever heard.

Severus was screaming.

I've seen Severus in a great amount of pain before, and he only grimaced, maybe grunted a little. To hear him scream like that terrified me, but also filled me up with hope. Screaming meant he was alive.

I broke off in a run, only getting more determined as his screams got louder. Then I saw it. Severus was lifted in mid air, being thrown back and forth like a rag doll as Voldemort stood lazily flicking his wand with a smile on his hideous face.

The second he caught a glimpse of me he dropped Severus to the ground.

"Don't be rude, Severus, get up," he said as if they were chatting over a cup of tea, "The guest of honor has arrived." Severus didn't move. "I SAID GET UP!" He pointed his wand at him and forced him to stand, obviously causing great pain to do so. He let go of his wand, and Severus stood on his own. "That's better." Then he turned his attention back to me. "So nice of you to join us Harry. I almost thought you wouldn't make it in time."

"Let him leave. This is between us."

"Now that's where I have to disagree. You see, if it wasn't for Severus, we would have settled this last year. I do hope you've brought the book with you this time."

"Sorry, must have forgot it."

"Of course." His smile widen as he decided to torture Severus a little more. "Where is it?"

"Exactly where I said it was. Dumbledore's office." This time I wasn't lying. It didn't really matter. The only way he was getting in there was if he killed Dumbledore, and even then I wasn't sure if it was possible.

"Bring me the book Potter, and I'll let him go."

"I told you where it was, go get it yourself." He chuckled darkly, and I glanced at Severus who looked worse for wear. I knew he wouldn't be able to stand much more. Voldemort said nothing and he went to go for another round, but I stalled him. "What? Afraid?" I taunted him and he just smirked.

"No, not afraid. I'm never afraid." He shot a curse at Severus, so I used the opportunity to try the spell. Hopefully it will lead to him trying to kill me. The second I was finished muttering the words that came out as slight hissing noises, he rounded on me. "Why, you little..you think that will stop me. You think I won't be able to kill you now!"

I couldn't believe Dumbledore was right. He actually did understand what the spell did! Then again, from his words, it seemed like he knew the counter curse for the spell. But he did look angry, well, more angry than he normally did, so I wasn't sure.

"Go ahead, kill me." I tried to entice him, but he didn't go for the bait.

"Unfortunately, that will have to wait until another time. Lucky Potter escapes again. Don't get your hopes up, you won't last forever."

"Been doing good so far." He stared me dead in the eye.

"Listen to me. I will kill everyone you care about. You will suffer pain known by none. You'll be begging me to end your suffering. Pray that I decide to show you mercy."

"I will never beg you!"

"Really? Let's see." The next second went so quick. He turned to Severus, wand pointed directly at his chest. I saw the words forming on his lips to kill. He was too far away to get to him in time. He had no wand and could hardly stand. The horror I felt was too much. I knew I had to do something. Nothing was going to stop me. Nothing could. Focusing every bit of power and energy I had in my body, I imagined standing in front of Severus to take the blow for him.

My lungs closed off as darkness engulfed me, and then I was staring directly at Severus. I needed to tell him. I needed him to know.

"I.." Then I was in darkness once again.

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**A/N: I know, you probably hate me right now. Go ahead, flame if you wish. Just remember, one more chapter left. Don't forget to review :)**


	23. Twenty Years Later

**Twenty Years Later...**

Severus Snape laid across his bed wearing nothing but a thin silk sheet. A young man's head clearly going to work underneath, although completely covered by the sheet. He moaned as the man pleasured him and quite abruptly it stopped. He looked up to see the man pull the sheet over his head. A smile appeared on his swollen lips as he crawled up Severus' body.

The young man kissed him passionately as their erections ground together. When they broke apart, he allowed himself to get lost in the man's emerald eyes.

"I love you Harry." He whispered and the man just smiled. "Make love to me." A more sinister smiled appeared on those lips as he did what he asked. As the man rode his cock, he held himself up by placing both palms across his thin chest.

The pleasure was almost unbearable. He watched intently as the young man drove himself onto him until he cried out his own release. The young man who gave him pleasure like no one ever had got off of him and stood up at the end of the bed.

Severus looked down at himself completely naked and sated. Then he saw two dark hand prints on his chest. He must have gotten too lost in the pleasure to realize he was being marked. He let his finger glide along the mark, but it smeared.

He lifted his finger up to his face, to get a glimpse of it in the dim light. Blood.

"Harry? What is this?" The man stood in the corner of his room with his back to him. "Harry! What's wrong?" He asked a little more frantically.

The nude boy turned around to face him. He was covered in blood, coming from his eyes, ears, and nose. He was crying and looking at his hands as if they held the answers. Then he finally spoke.

"Help me Sev."

Severus woke up with a start. His skin was glistened with sweat, causing his sheets to stick to his skin uncomfortably. He groaned as he walked to the washroom to clean himself up again.

Every time he had this dream, or some version of it, he has woken up the same way. He berated himself for allowing to think it was real, even for a second. The thought alone was ridiculous.

For one, Harry was seventeen in the dream, always was. Where as his dream version of himself was the same man looking back at him in the mirror. Almost sixty years old, his once jet black hair being flanked with strands of gray and wrinkles forming around his eyes.

He hated these dreams, no - nightmares, that plagued his thoughts while he slept. They've been with him for years, and he had a feeling he'd take them to the grave. So much for redemption.

Then again, they were better than the truth. The reality of it all. Harry was dead and would never come back. He could feel the raw emotions building up inside of him and quickly let his thoughts travel elsewhere. He wouldn't let himself cry. No, he didn't cry. Not ever. Not since that day.

The torturing he could handle. The pain was unbearable, but he had faced it all before. He lasted over an hour before he even let out a scream. He was sure that he would die that day. Either tortured to death, or eventually killed after Voldemort got tired of him. But then Harry turned up.

He didn't really know what was going on at the time. He just knew that Harry did something that angered Voldemort, and he was going to end his life as payment. Death didn't scare him one bit, but as the flash of green light came towards him, Harry appeared in front of him.

At first he thought it was a near death hallucination, until he realized that he was alive, and Harry was in his arms.

"Harry..Harry..." The green eyes were lifeless now, and Severus knew what had happened, but he still didn't understand it. He didn't know how Harry got in front of him. He was too far away to run, he knew that, but it was impossible to apparate on Hogwarts grounds. None of it made any sense.

He closed Harry's eyelids and leaned his lifeless body across his chest. That day Severus cried.

"What were you thinking Harry?" He sobbed into his hair, feeling more empty than he ever had in his entire life. Harry Potter was dead and it was all his fault. "What have you done?"

He sat there, holding Harry's limp form for about twenty minutes before anybody found them.

"Oh my god," Lupin was the first to speak. "What happened?"

"Voldemort," Moody growled, "Is he really dead?" Severus, who almost forgot about the monster who allowed this to happened, glanced up to where Kingsley and Moody stood. Voldemort laid at his feet, dead, just like Harry.

Severus' mind was working in overdrive. Trying to piece everything together, he came to a realization. He stood up carrying Harry's body like a baby.

"You!" He screamed at Dumbledore who stood there calmly taking in the situation. "You knew this would happen!" He carefully handed over Harry to Remus who looked just as grief stricken as he did.

"You planned this! You let him die! You forced him to sacrifice himself!"

"I did no such thing Severus, and you know it. I would never make Harry give up his life."

"That spell, you knew about that spell, you knew what it would do!"

"Yes, I knew it what it would do, but so did Harry."

"Is that suppose to make it any better? You know how he is. Jump first, think later. You knew what he would do."

"We planned on using that spell as protection. I was sure Voldemort would understand it. I'm afraid I was mistaken."

"He did know. He knew right away!" Severus yelled at him, trying to make sense of this all, but failing. "He wasn't trying to kill Harry, he was trying to kill me. But..but.." He didn't know how he could say it without sounding crazy.

"What happened Severus? You can tell me anything."

"He apparated. Right in front of me. I don't know how it was possible, but he did it Albus, I swear." Mad-eye and Kingsley both looked confused, obviously thinking Severus has gone mental.

"Apparation is impossible at Hogwarts." Lupin said staring straight at Harry's body, but obviously still listening, desperate to know how this came to be.

"Don't you think I know that? I know what I saw." Dumbledore seemed to contemplate all of this, then turned to Moody.

"Take the body back to headquarters. Make sure it is destroyed." Moody nodded and lifted Voldemort's body by magic. "Kingsley, go back and help the others," he nodded quickly before running back the way he came.

"Severus, the prophecy."

"I don't care about the stupid prophecy! This shouldn't have happened!"

"I know how you're feeling, my boy, but this is important." Severus glared at him, his anger overwhelming his need to cry. "The power, which he knows not was love."

"Oh, here you go again spouting off your nonsense! Harry is dead! Can't you see that?"

"Love is a powerful thing, always underestimated. Love can make even the weakest wizard strong. Love can manipulate magic. Harry was powerful enough on his own, and with.."

"Will you just shut up already?"

"Severus, don't you see. Harry was able to apparate tonight by love. His need to protect you. His love for you is what saved us all."

Severus' glare got deadly and he got right up into Dumbledore's face. "DON'T EVER SAY THAT AGAIN!" Then he began to storm off. As he walked away, he could hear Lupin's quiet words.

"I should go find Draco.."

He didn't want to think about Draco then. He didn't want Dumbledore to tell his theory to anyone else. Luckily for him, he never did. He kept that secret to the grave, which was only three years later.

Severus hated thinking about that day. But today, no matter how much he tried to avoid it, he couldn't. Because it was this day, twenty years ago, when he watched Harry die.

Every year on this day, Hogwarts closes down for their annual memorial service held for all those who lost their lives. Casualties were surprisingly low for the side of the light. After Voldemort died, the remaining Death Eaters got scared and tried to flee. So in reality, it was a memorial for Harry.

He hated going to these things. No one seemed comfortable with his presence, except for maybe the werewolf Lupin. He seemed to be the only person who ever spoke to him during these events, but Severus didn't think that was any more comforting than to be left alone.

But no matter how much he hated it, he always went. Not only because he was a Hogwarts teacher, but he felt like Harry would have wanted him there. It was silly, but he just felt like he owed it to Harry to show up.

He would spend his day alone in the dungeons until the ceremony. The place tended to be a mess before that. Multitudes of witches and wizards from all over Britain came to attend the event. He tried to see as little as everyone as possible. He didn't want to be there as everyone arrived.

When the time came, that he could no longer lock himself away, he made his move towards the Great Hall. The normal house tables were gone, replaced by hundreds of small circular tables. Severus sat down at an empty one in the back corner, trying to conceal himself in the shadows.

He glanced around the room, searching for the familiar figures. The first one he saw was Hermione Macmillan, even thought he still thought of her as Miss. Granger. He noticed she was pregnant again. It seems she's trying top Molly Weasley. She already had four of the little brats, two of which he had to teach already. He honestly had no idea how she did it, being a top healer at St. Mungo's was a demanding job. Then to top it off with all those kids, Severus couldn't help but admire her just a little.

Joining her was Ron Weasley, who had another pretty boy on his arm. Every year he had a new one. Each one seemed to be about the same age, no matter how much older Weasley got. As far as Severus knew, the boy hadn't settled down with anyone for more than a few months. He knew the boy worked at that ridiculous shop owned by his brothers. He would run into him from time to time in Diagon Alley, but they never said much to each other but a quick hello.

The other Weasley children were there as well. He didn't keep up with them much. Not that he kept up with Granger and Weasley, he just checked up on them from time to time. To make sure they were okay. Like Harry would have if he was alive.

He watched them for a few minutes, laughing and joking with one another, clearly no longer in mourning. Harry may have been their best friend, but it has been twenty years now. They have moved on. The first memorial service was much grimmer. There was no laughing, or smiling. Just lots of tears, that sickened Severus to the point he had to storm out in the midst of Draco Malfoy's speech.

Draco always made the same speech every year. He, like the others, haven't cried since the first one he made, but that didn't make them any more bearable.

Draco's entrance into the Great Hall caused a lot of attention. He was famous enough on his own, practically being Harry Potters widower, but ever since his marriage to that oaf Bulgarian chaser, it rose even more. Draco was doing well for himself. He was the head of the Ministry's department of magical law enforcement. Some people say he should be the next Minister of Magic, but a small few still fear it because of who his father is.

Not that Lucius Malfoy was much of a threat any longer, serving a life sentence in Azkaban, but a few of the older Ministry officials would never forget.

Draco was flanked by both his husband and son. His son, Michael Malfoy, named after his other father, looked almost identical to Draco, just like Draco did to Lucius. It was a little unnerving, surely they must have used magic to alter their genes prominent, which wouldn't surprise Severus one bit.

Draco stopped and spoke with Granger and Weasley briefly before heading off to the front of the room with the Headmistress McGonagal and Minister Shacklebolt, leaving his husband and son with the others.

He watched Draco for a while, talking to the Minister, until someone had the audacity to sit at his table.

Lupin.

"Good evening Severus." The werewolf handed him a glass of wine and sat down next to him. "I hope you don't mind if I join you."

"Not in the slightest," He replied sarcastically, but Remus just ignored it.

"How have you been Severus?"

"Just fine."

"You don't look fine."

"Look who's talking."

"Well, last night was the full moon." Lupin stated as if Severus did not know. He still brewed the wolfsbane for Lupin every month, so that was one thing he always kept track of. "What's your excuse?"

"I'm fine." Severus repeated himself.

"This time of year is hard for me too." Severus just glared at Lupin's presumption. He wasn't wrong, so it was the best he could do with out flatly lying to the man. "It's okay to miss him."

"I don't." Severus lied. He wouldn't allow himself to cry since the day Harry died. He just wouldn't. Speaking about him aloud, would certainly make that harder. He's avoided it for twenty years, and wasn't going to start now.

"Severus, please, you don't have to lie to me. You can talk to me."

"Since when are we friends Lupin?" Severus shot back. "Just because I do you a favor once a month does not make us friends. I don't do it for you, I do it for everyone else."

"But, I thought..I thought we, well, I thought we were friends to be honest. You're pretty much the only one I've got anymore." He said gloomily, realizing that most of his friends have died or moved on with their lives. Getting married and having children. He couldn't do that. Wouldn't allow anyone to step close into the life of a werewolf. But Severus, he was the same. He had no one either.

"Well, you were mistaken."

"Oh, right then. I'm sorry." Lupin's words came out hoarse, as he was obviously hurt by the mans words. Severus rolled his eyes.

"Are you bloody Gryffindors always so dramatic?" He sounded like he was insulting Lupin, but the true meaning didn't go unnoticed. Remus turned and sat back down and the two sat in silence. After a few moments Severus spoke up again. "I miss him all the time." Lupin looked shocked by the confession, but also very pleased he got the man to admit it.

"Me too." Remus sighed as he grabbed a floating bottle of wine and brought it down to the table for them to share. "Sometimes I dream about him. About his face, the way he looked when.."

"That's enough." Severus finished, not needing to hear it. He knew exactly how the other man felt. Of course, he doubted that Remus' dreams started as an erotic fantasy.

"I wondered what he would have done if he had a chance to grow up. What do you think would have become of him?"

"I don't know." Severus gritted through his teeth, obviously displeased about talking possible futures that were impossible.

"Do you think they would have gotten married?" Lupin said as Draco got up to give his yearly speech. "I liked Draco enough, I did, but I couldn't really see them together long term. I don't know though. Harry never really told me much about how he felt. I'm sorry." Lupin addressed Severus tenderly, clearly realizing his mistake of mentioning Harry's relationship with Draco.

"No need."

"I know Harry cared about you too. Obviously, after what he did.." But Remus never had a chance to finish the sentence for Severus got up and stormed out of the Great Hall.

He went back to his rooms in the dungeons where more memories of Harry plagued him. He went to sit on the sofa that Harry had once slept on after a dreadful occlumency lesson. The same sofa where they shared their first kiss, which Harry ran off from almost instantly. The same sofa where Severus sat when he first admitted to Harry that he loved him. The threat of crying seemed almost too real now, Severus opened up a bottle of firewhiskey to forget.

After he was thoroughly pissed, and ready to retire for the night, there was a knock at the door.

"Go away Lupin." He shouted at the door, knowing it had to be him coming to give him some apology which he didn't want to hear.

"Snape. Open up." That wasn't Lupin's voice. "Please, we need to talk." He had to go to the door to make sure his mind wasn't playing tricks on him. When he did, he turned out to be right. Draco Malfoy stood in his doorway. "Aren't you going to invite me in?" Severus stood to the side, and Draco walked in and sat in the spot Severus just vacated.

"Getting drunk, are we?" He tried to joke but Severus did not find the humor in it.

"What are you doing here?"

"You normally get about half way through my speeches before you storm out. Bit of an astonishment, if you ask me. I don't know how they all sit through it." Severus didn't say anything just stared as Draco poured himself a glass and began to sip. "You know my son will be starting here next year? He's real excited. Said he'll be sorted into Slytherin, like me."

"I'm sure he will be. I will of course look after him. Unless of course he's sorted in to Gryffindor, then I'm afraid, I cannot make the same promise." Draco just laughed.

"I always thought you were a bit partial to Gryffindors." Draco smirked. "Or maybe it was just the one." The silence between them stretched. There was nothing Severus could say to that quip, so he kept his mouth shut. "But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

"And what exactly do you wish to talk about?"

"You know, you look worn out. I think it's about time you've taken a vacation."

"As grateful as I am by your concern for my well-being, I'm fine, thank you."

"I'm just trying to give you a break before you have seven years of dealing with my second generation. He's quite a handful. Gets it from his father."

"Cause you were such an upstanding student?" Severus quirked, almost laughing at the others joke. "But, even if I wished for some get away, I could never afford it. Not that you would understand something like that."

"You think I don't know what it's like? After father was arrested, they took practically everything, except for the mansion. Not that they didn't try. Had to salvage what I could to make ends meet for years."

"But you inherited all of Harry's gold. Grimmuald Place."

"You heard about that?" Draco said interested. "Didn't know that was public knowledge. But I've never touched his money. It didn't belong to me."

"Harry had no living relatives. You were his fiancé."

"Well that's not exactly true either. In fact that's why I've come here." Draco sighed and took a large gulp of his drink. "That day, Harry and I broke up." He didn't once look at Severus as he spoke. "We were fighting for a while, which I'm sure you knew. Well we were at it again, he let some things slip."

"Why are you telling me this?" Severus interjected and Draco looked up and stared him in the eye.

"He told me it was because he loved you. Not me." Severus just stared at the man in front of him, clueless of what to say. "I've never told anyone this, not even Michael. And I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to tell you. I guess I just didn't want to admit it to myself." He paused for a moment looking down at his feet, then he got up as if he they just were talking about the weather. "Well, I'd better get back." He finished off his drink before walking towards the door. "Oh, I'll have all the paperwork drawn up before this summer."

"Paperwork?"

"From Gringotts. Like I said, it's about time you take a vacation. Oh, and I sort of already told Lupin he could keep Grimmuald Place. I mean he was already living there, but everything else is yours." He paused again as if he had more to say but then decided against it. "Well, goodnight Snape."

With a soft click of the door locking itself, he was gone. Severus just stared at the closed door, taking in everything Draco had just old him. Harry had loved him, more than Draco. He chose him. And maybe, if he was alive today, he would be sitting on this couch next to him. Severus' dreams seemed all the more like reality now. He couldn't take it.

After he was finished his nighttime rituals, he laid down, covering himself in the same silk sheet that Harry wrapped around himself in his dream.

And for the first time in twenty years, Severus Snape cried.

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End

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**So that's that! I hope you all aren't too upset with my ending. I know a lot of you wanted Harry and Draco to end up together, but alas, it just didn't work out that way. But I do want to thank all my readers for sticking with me. Especially my loyal reviewers (who will continue their good work by reviewing this last chapter). I will miss this story very much, but I've had this ending planned out since the beginning, and I'm very happy with it. Hope you all feel the same.**

**But however you feel about my story, I would appreciate all reviews, even if you aren't a regular reviewer, I'm dying to have your opinion.**

**I will be writing another story in time. I have so many ideas I'm not sure exactly what I will start with, so if you're interested in my work, sign up for an author alert. I'll probably write a few one shots before I start on another novel length fic, so all suggestions or requests can be sent to me PM or through a review. (If you haven't gotten the hint yet, I really want reviews...lol)**

**But I've gone on long enough, I'm sure you stopped reading..haha Thanks for reading my work! Hope you enjoyed the ride as much as I have.**

**Amelia**


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